Meemer's World

this still makes me giggle.

2010-11-18T16:15:00.004-07:00

my awesome popcorn niece came over one day with this little beauty. you might remember this one . i put the new on here in my bedroom, as a sort of joke on big d. he thought it was funny. not as much as i did though.

my mom just thought it was a continuation on this:

we really love movies at our house

you can't really top paul mccartney, but...

2010-11-18T16:11:00.004-07:00

you can't really top going to paul mccartney. but you can come really close. this is mr. brandon flowers from the killers. it. was. awesome. not just because i love me some good killers music, but it was really fun to see a lot of different types of people. and by different i mean really tall people.

lets just say i learned a lot at this concert.

1- heels are totally the way to go if it's general admission. again, there were a lot of tall people.

2- never wear heels when you anticipate standing for 4 hours. between waiting and standing and waiting again, i have some numb toes and "killer" (ha!) foot pain.

3- the depot was seriously cool.

4- i think mr. flowers was singing to me. he looked at me, like, twice.

5- 5 rows of people in front of me. that was cool. that was a completely different experience than paul. because i could really see mr. flowers. especially when the people in front of me put down their cameras.

6- mr. ronnie vannucci is awesome for a surprise guest. and i yell super loud.

7. my mom, aka babysitter, is super cool for staying late and watching the kiddies. she deserves 5 stars for that.

8. for being at a "club" with a bar, there was only one drunk guy.

9. when said drunk guy grabbed me, i almost punched him

10. i like pushing around wasted drunk guys.

so, i send my thanks to mr. flowers. the concert was awesome. the fact that i went out with big d, was also awesome.

my top 5

2010-07-14T12:19:00.018-07:00

when i was 15, my big christmas present was a stereo with a cd player. it was the first cd player of the house. the following week, my parents took me to a media store to buy my first cd's. it's no use having a cd player if you have nothing to play. i got 2 cd's at the store.

this was my first experience with THE BEATLES. i can't remember why i wanted this album in particular, but i do know i listened to it daily for a long time.

when i was 16, the anthologies were released. i remember sitting in the basement watching the long documentary on t.v. with my dad. i thought it was the coolest thing ever. both the learning about the beatles, and connecting with my dad. my dad has an original "meet the beatles" record that he bought in '64. i coveted his record. i thought it was the coolest thing ever. and from that time, i vowed that i would collect beatles.
when i was 17, i realized there was a small group at school who's parents had brought them up loving the beatles. i actually fit into a group that liked something bigger than high school. something different than popular modern stuff. it was then that i started checking out every beatles cd from the library. on sunday, a local oldies radio station had "breakfast with the beatles" and i would record off the radio to get the songs that i didn't have in my collection. it was pretty much the only thing i would listen too. i'm pretty sure my parents were annoyed by my constant beatles music.

when i was 18, my friend deb moved into my neighborhood. she was cool enough, but the moment i found out she liked beatles music, it cemented an instant and total friendship. we soon were having our own experiences, thinking we were grown up, traveling utah to attend beatles tribute bands. maybe even a few out of state. there were a few of us that were crazy enough to drive all night to find our "beatles" and scream like we were in '64. for our talent show in seminary, my friend deb and i played a part of the movie "help" as our talent. every week, we would rent the same vhs to play and watch over and over.

by that time, i had every cd that they had released. we had gone to the local library when they were selling their records, stood in line for hours, to get our hands on a vintage vinyl album. we were serious. it was real to us. we spent our free time finding pictures, thumbing through records at the d.i., and listening to beatles. we talked and dreamed and wished we lived in the 60's.

when we graduated from high school, my friend lacy and i, went out to get our own tattoos, and i was with lacy when she got the most awesome johnny tat on her belly. and i coveted it too. it was like a love letter to mr. john lennon, and it was particularly useful when we would go and see these tribute bands as a way to get to talk to them. they knew we were serious about beatles when they saw the tat.

when i was 19, i got married. and i introduces my husband to all things beatles. from every song, to talking about every song, to every movie and talking endlessly about them. at that time i was a vegetarian, and big d thought it was hilarious when paul and linda were on the simpsons when lisa turns vegetarian. it was like a little bit of awesome for both of us.

when we moved to new york, big d found a record dealer who worked right by his work, and he bought several vintage vinyl. for my birthday or for christmas for the next year, i got a new beatles record.

when i was pregnant with my first baby, for christmas, big d gave me "yellow submarine". my babies all watched it. (at this moment, the vhs is sitting on my desk waiting to be fixed from overuse). my kids all know who john, paul, george, and ringo are. they each have their favorite beatle, their favorite beatle movie, and their favorite beatle song. when they don't know what to buy me for mother's day, or christmas, they buy me a beatles something. they know i'll love it.

this year for jimmy's birthday party, he wanted a "yellow submarine" birthday. he got a new yellow submarine lunch box, and we are making him his own back pack for school with beatles patches.

we are serious about the beatles in this house.

granted, i've always loved john. i've loved him so much, i kissed a few fake johns. i was invited (and declined) an evening with one particularly perverted fake john. but still, i love john lennon. i love what he did, his music.

so when i heard that paul mccartney was coming to salt lake city, i was torn. i mean, it's a beatle. it's the opposite beatle from john lennon. but it's a beatle.

through some crazy good luck, and a very patient big d, we did get tickets. sure they were in the back of a stadium, but we got tickets to see sir paul.

yesterday was the big day. it was surreal.

i'd like to say that getting married or having my children were the most important day in my life. but if i had to rank major life events in order of most fulfilling, i have to say, yesterday is in my top 5.

i saw beatles music being performed by a beatle. by the beatle that wrote it. by one of the most influential musicians in the last 100 years. it was amazing. it was so much more than amazing. at moments during the performance, it would hit me. "this is paul" and my eyes would tear up, and i would want to cry. it was like seeing something you were sure you never would. it was like living in 1964 for just a moment. i could close my eyes and pretend like i used to, or i could keep them open and live in the moment. mostly we would just rock out, because if paul mccartney is anything, he's full of life. for being 67 years old, he rocks. for being my age, he rocks. i don't know how many people can put on a concert for 3 hours with as much energy as he had, but he totally did.

it's hard to explain how much it meant to me to see him. paul played with his original 1960's guitars. amazing. i was in a crowd of 25,000 people, who were on their feet, singing and dancing. we were all connected. it was cool. i've never seen so many beatles fans, so many beatles t-shirts, so many hippies. it was awesome to see people my parents age, who had waited their whole lives to see paul, and see how much it meant to them. and we were a part of it. that was cool.

thanks to big d for making a dream come true.

because seeing something performed by paul, with a ukulele given to him by george has got to be the coolest thing in the world. to me it was. it really was.

our crazy idaho adventure

2010-07-07T11:32:00.005-07:00

catching up

2010-07-07T11:21:00.002-07:00

my "healthy living" screen time hiatus has come to a close. do i feel better about myself? not really. the internet is such a big part of my life. i shop there, i talk to friends, i learn, i check out library books...etc and on.

however, i did learn that i can go without internet. i can use my phone and check my email, i can text a lot, and i can read more. what i can't do is make more time in the day to do everything. so while i didn't get everything done like always, i couldn't blame my internet addiction. i blame life. busy busy life. which is totally okay.

i thought i would catch you up on what has been going on. these pictures are completely out of order. and most of them were not taken by me. in fact, the wasatch back ones were taken by the awesome and amazing lindsey who was runner #7, and a pretty cool person to run with. not only is she really fun, but also pretty talented. too bad all my photographer friends live so dang far away. some of the camping pictures were taken by my kids. they are not professional. and i might have taken a few. the blurry ones mostly.

in our two month hiatus, we had lots of stuff happen, friends moved away, kids had birthdays, and life really went by fast. our family is involved in a show, and that seems to eat up most of our time. and on top of that, we run. we run as a family, and we run to get away from each other.

but this will catch you up. or mostly catch you up. remember, it's just a glimpse into my world, not a whole view.

that is probably it. i hope i find more fun picture treasures, and if i do, i hope you don't mind if i share them. the kids seem to be growing and changing and maturing more each day. and i am afraid that if i close my eyes, i am going to miss something great that they are always doing.

wasatch back

2010-07-07T10:59:00.007-07:00

after my last run. here i am exhausted. that is what that face is.

lyn

i don't know who did this sign for me. but it was awesome. i cried.

i love this girl. she made me laugh!

da girls

waiting with lyn for her 2nd run. it was cold. and by cold, i mean freezing.

breakfast

sleeping after 1st leg. not really sleeping, more like resting

chowing on cookies, cuz we were hungry

lines of honey buckets

our finish line. since we missed it due to traffic

hanging out with the girls

camping with dad

2010-07-07T10:53:00.001-07:00

harry's school program

2010-07-07T10:39:00.003-07:00

boys messing around with the camera

2010-07-07T10:20:00.003-07:00

2010-07-07T10:17:00.001-07:00

bird refuge

2010-07-07T10:14:00.002-07:00

harry's birthday

2010-07-07T09:46:00.005-07:00

the wasatch back, part 3

2010-06-25T13:19:00.005-07:00

my third wasatch back ragnar relay.

my first leg was supposed to be my "easy" leg. it was a measly 3 + something miles, pretty flat. i was pretty excited for it, but i really didn't prepare mentally. i was the second runner in our van. and i was in van 2, which was a new thing for me. it meant that i slept in, went to a meeting, and loaded up my stuff the day of the race. that was great because i like doing those things.

when i got to my start, i felt the same feeling that you get when labor starts. "oh, crap, not this again" because, lets face it. running is hard work. running in the heat, competing against yourself, working up a dirty sweat, going without sleep or showers, or food. all of that is hard.

i started the leg a little bit shaken up. we had lagged a bit behind, so they were shouting for me that the runner was there before i was really ready. i beeped my garmin on and ran. even though i knew i needed to hold back, i couldn't. the adrenalin was rushing through me, and i was flying. i kept my arm up to check my garmin and i was going about 8 minute miles. which was so awesome. until my hip/leg started bugging me. going out fast does that.

so i slowed it up, and then the heat hit me. and the rolling hills. but i felt great. i ran by one of my bff's houses (hey lacey) and that was pretty cool. all in all, it was an okay run. i ended up slowing up enough to work through the pain in my hip. i finished in 33 minutes, which was not great.

i then watched as the rest of my team ran. they were each amazing. collectively we went through ogden valley and climbed to snow basin. they were all fast, and they were all hard runners. it was awesome to be in a van like that.

we tried resting at some high school. we enjoyed flushing toilets and soft grass. i think we were all a little worked up, van 1 had a problem earlier where their van wouldn't start, so we felt a little stress there. but we had eaten well, and we felt great. i tried to sleep, i listened to music and relaxed. as soon as i felt like i was going to drop off, a cast member called my phone. it scared me and i answered it. then we had some rude person banging on the dumpsters so we all got up and got ready to head to the exchange.

my next leg was at 12ish at night. i was looking forward to this leg because i knew it was downhill and it was going to be at night. our van didn't make it to the exchange on time, so i got out and ran the last half mile with lindsay, the runner before me. we climbed the last of the hill, and then i got to run down it. it was cool. both in temperature and in experience.

i had heard that you need to just let your body do it, and not try to slow yourself down. so i went for it. i was mostly going between 7-8 minute miles, until it evened out. so the first 4 miles were pretty easy. i could feel my hip, but it was okay. i was more worried about my knees giving out and me rolling down a mountain. the last mile was pretty even with a little uphill, and i could feel my quads with each step. i also experienced a bit of vertigo when i ran across an overpass and my headlamp lit the ground under.

after my second run, i was tired. really tired. we still had 4 runs left. 4 longer runs. i watched the rest of the girls in the van get ready and face the cold night.

we tried to rest at a jr. high, in the parking lot. we crashed on the grass and as soon as i felt like i was drifting off, my phone buzzed. i had a cast member back in the real world who was going to be late to rehearsal. it totally took me back to reality and i never really slept after that. i tried to relax myself using the alexander technique, deep breathing, visualization, but nothing worked. i eventually gave up when the crowds were bugging me and the sun was too hot. we moved our sleeping bags to the shade, but it really didn't help. by that time, my quads were shot and hurting, my hip was really bugging me, and i hadn't slept for 30 hours. i was beat. but still having fun, at least until i had to go stand in line for the porta-potties.

i wasn't having so much fun when i made it to my next exchange for my last run. it was a 6 mile moderate run. i started out feeling weak on my legs, but still in charge. about mile 2, i realized i was going to have to push through. by mile 3, i not only was hurting, but i was really discouraged. seeing my van only made me feel worse, as i knew they were waiting for me. i pushed myself harder, but it only made me feel weaker and slower. i ended stopping a couple of times and just walking slowly. my body just did not want to run. i decided to run 10 minutes, and walk 2 minutes. i watched the clock like crazy, but it was so hard to keep myself moving. when i had about 1.5 miles left, there were some crazy uphills, and i just knew i was going so slow. the sun was hot, and there was a terrible headwind. and i just felt crappy. i had my allergies flare up, my nose was running and my eyes were burning. but i pushed though.

when i handed off i felt like a total looser. here i was, running a 6 mile cakewalk, and i bombed it. i was so completely exhausted. my legs were gone, and my body was mad. everything from my feet to my hand joints were aching, and my hip was screaming at me. but i was done. i immediately felt like i was going to barf, and i did cry. real tears streamed out of my itchy allergied eyes.

officially it was the best wasatch back race i had ever participated in. we finished in 30 hours, at a 9.3 minute mile average. we came in 29th for overall women. for me though, it was my worst race ever. even though i had a blast with my van mates, i felt discouraged about my performance.

the thing about the wasatch back is realizing that it isn't all about you, or about your one team or any of that. even when i was passed, or on the rare occasion i did pass someone, it almost felt like a community of runners out there. i had a lot of friends running this year, on a lot of different teams, and it was fun to see them. there were 1000 teams participating. that made it around 12 thousand people on the racecourse. it felt pretty amazing to be sharing an experience like that.

my team mates made it wonderful too. i now have another 5 best friends who don't care if i belch loudly, stink up the van, say silly things, or complain about the porta potties for the 100th time. they like me, even though i'm slow.

update. not really, i'm just teasing. but still...

2010-06-05T14:36:00.004-07:00

memorial day

My new wall of records

Jimmy's Birthday

i know, right?

2010-05-01T17:16:00.003-07:00

i keep thinking to myself, there has got to be something to blog about these days. and there is. the kids are off track again, the plants in the garden are popping up, the snow is gone, the race is looming, the kids are bugging me, and all sorts of other stuff. but the thing is, by the time i get to sit down to the 'puter, i'm tired. and frankly, i'm bored of blogging again. i know, it happens every couple of months. but hey, it's my bloggy.

there is this other thing too. see, big d and i are doing this healthy thing again. i know i've talked about it before, anyway, for the next two months, we are limiting our screen time. which means i will only have short spans of time with which to update you on my blog. of course that means, i won't.

but i am around in cyberspace. facebook, twitter. whatever. you just have to know where to look. and i know you are so dissapointed and will miss my blathering and less than insightful posts, but you are just going to have to suffer. i'm doing this for the betterment of myself, and the cash reward at the end.

i hope to have a bunch of pictures one of these days. probably from my race, maybe from the shows, and possibly of the kids.

so, for now, i say, "see ya later"

it has begun

2010-04-10T13:50:00.004-07:00

training. for that crazy race.

this week i logged 44.5 miles. no wonder my legs feel sore today. of course it couldn't be the 13.3 miles i pounded out this morning.

no more lazy saturdays. so long going to yard sales and greasy french fries. no more friday night ice cream. no more cheesy pizza, fizzy soda. buh-bye toenails.

hello chaffing, blisters, worn out socks, major gas and intestinal issues, rocks in my shoes, energy drinks, gu, embarrassing tan lines, and feeling like a superhero.

2010-04-06T15:24:00.002-07:00

i figure out how to do something else with my phone. isn't it amazing what an itty bitty phone can do now days?

spring snow is the best

2010-04-06T15:20:00.003-07:00

if you have to have snow at all. what i mean is, we woke up to about 4 inches of pure slushy snow. the flowers were all face down, and the mountains were like a super thick birthday cake. at 4:30 this afternoon, there is hardly a skiff on the ground. the air looks clean and fresh, and the boys can enjoy being outside.

during winter, a 4 inch snowfall would hang around for a couple of days at least. during the spring, it's got a lifespan of about 8 hours. that is wonderful.

the only downside? snow. i have to keep reminding myself that it is ONLY april, and that it is quite common to experience plenty of snowfall. and given that we have had such a mild winter, we should expect a lot more snow than what we have. so that part does suck.

but the quick melt method of precipitation is lovely.

2010-04-06T09:30:00.003-07:00

journal-ing our easter experience.

monday-
fires in the neighborhood, jimmy home from school

tuesday-
i have no memory as i was in bed all day

wednesday-
i was still sick

thursday-
harry pukefest (and it really was. i have never seen a kid throw up so often)

friday-
harry home, still sick

saturday-
easter egg hunt. we barely made it!
ran my 10 miles
conference sessions
big d got sick
my dad's surprise birthday dinner
shopping for easter basket goods
cleaned the house/laundry
stayed up late stuffing and then hiding eggs

sunday-
conference
dyed easter eggs
dyed easter dog
dinner at my sisters
played with sidewalk chalk
dumped bubble juice everywhere
gorged on chocolate

fussy never did come down with the sick, so we are counting our lucky stars.

fire!

2010-03-29T20:03:00.003-07:00

there were some huge fires in our neighborhood today, i think it was controlled burn day. anyway, you remember i live in the country. well sorta. anyway, on our way home from school, we just had to drive by and look. we watched the ash fall to the ground like huge black snowflakes. it was pretty interesting. on our way home, we were driving farmville, looking at the fields of animals.

"hey, look at the baby horse!"
"oh, look at the cute little goats"
"hey mom, i see some nursing cows!"
"i see a mexican...bok bok bok"

wha.....huh?

fussy sometimes mixes words up. we had a good laugh about that one. and then i reminded the 6 year old to not say it.

with our backyard full of fallen ash grass, we found a cool new thing to do. it's called, paint-yourself-black-with-ash. we gave ourselves mustaches and beards. we colored our hands. and then we realized we just looked dirty. or like we were in a very bad ol' timey movie.

when big d got home, i decided to go for a run. which, ya know, when half the neighborhood is on fire, is probably not the smartest choice. i really wanted to get out there, so i went anyway. i could smell smoke the whole time. but occasionally i could also smell bbq. it smelled so yummy and good. and then i remembered that the fields that were on fire were cow fields. i thought it was funny how my brain put that together. i came home and had a grilled hamburger for dinner.

it's awesome having cool friends,

2010-03-29T10:22:00.003-07:00

because they post cool stuff like this, and then i get to see it. thanks deb! i'm putting this out there for all the beatles lovies.

skipping

2010-03-20T13:50:00.002-07:00

don't you wish skipping miles was as easy as skipping songs?

yesterday i was out running. i had my little ipod, and we were going along. i was tired. it was an end of the day kind of run, and i was feeling it. a song came up on my ipod, and i didn't want to listen to it, so i just skipped ahead.

and then i thought, "boy, it would sure be nice to skip to the next mile"

wouldn't it be easy to go for a 10 mile run if you could skip the crappy miles? that one uphill battle with the headwind and rain. i could go without that. i could be happy to just hit the easy, gradual downhills. or mile 9 of a 10 mile run. i love the last mile of a run. it seems you get so much out of a run when you know you are almost done.

now, if in my runs, i could skip that long hard uphill 3 miles, how would my legs ever get strong? or my lungs? how could i learn to endure a long run, without enduring a brutal headwind and stinging snowflakes? how would i train to run up mountains, if i didn't first do those horrible runs? those miles that are, at least, uncomfortable, and at most, brutal?

it's totally like life. all those things that are hard, really do make us stronger. even if it just a mental strength that comes from enduring the storms, or telling ourselves "one more mile". i think so many of my peers are used to being able to "skip ahead" that we have lost the whole point of the marathon. to use the old church phrase, "to endure to the end". enduring doesn't mean you are always going to get the easy downhill.

2010-03-18T18:17:00.002-07:00

using my phone for more than calling

2010-03-18T09:41:00.004-07:00

big d got me a new phone for my birthday. one of the things i like about it is that it has a camera. i am not a photographer, i am not even close. but i still need to take pictures, and i forget the camera a lot. i usually don't forget my phone. so it's cool that it has a camera. i got these a couple of days ago.

jimmy and fussy with their girl cousin. can you see them dragging her? you can't see their faces, mostly just imagine her going along with it, until she realizes that she has no choice. my boys are like that. it's all fun and games until you find a frog (or snake) in your pocket, right?

this is where we were headed. to see the sheep. it really looks colder than it was. it was a beautiful spring day. if you look close you can see a baby sheep. who knew sheep were born black? probably sheep did. but i did not. i got other pictures of the sheep, but it is all their back ends. which, while funny, isn't nice. i couldn't help it though, the sun was shining, and i couldn't really see what i was taking a picture of, with the glare on my screen.

harry showing off his mad skilz, like walking and complaining at the same time

fussy being un fussy. look at those mountains behind him. nice huh? and really, it looks cold because my kids don't know how to dress for mild weather. it's been a really long winter.

and this is how boys get stinky. actually they roll in pee. at least that is what my parents said. but i didn't get pictures of that. and i know that boys are always stinky. i've become used to the smell. they smell sorta like these barn animals.

jimmy loves kids. he loves smaller kids. i think he secretly wants to beat them up. but he still enjoys being the "parent" to any smaller child. she looks like she is enjoying him being right there too, huh?

enjoying being outside, leading the younger kids into the road. where are the parents of these kids? yeah, that is right, i'm taking pictures.

fussy and i stopped at the pond on our run the other day

yeah, it was windy, but the ducks were out, and who can resist feeding them stale gummy bears and throwing rocks at them? not this fussy.

i think he had some sunshine in his eyes. to which he was screaming because it has been a long time since we had seen sunshine. "what is that glowing orb in the sky" he would say? actually, he did tell us the other day not to eat the sun. good advice kid, good advice.

so that is what i had sitting on my phone. besides pictures of diapers. which i don't think you care about. that sounds gross until you realize i'm selling my stash of cloth diapers for extra cash i can use for video games. we have a problem around this house. it's called boys. and they eat a lot of food, break most of the furniture, and want to play lots of video games.

and yes, i realize this has to be the most random post ever.

what off track looks like...sorta

2010-03-07T21:49:00.004-07:00

my kids can pull some really doofy faces. the end.

how to tie dye a shirt

2010-03-07T21:34:00.005-07:00

or diapers. or socks. or the title could be, "how to keep your kids entertained on a rainy day"

notice the recent medicine counter on my kitchen sink and the shameless display of an over-medicated child. that's jimmy.

yeah, it was more fun than it looks. way more. unbelievable amounts of joy were recorded doing hippy art. but that is totally how we roll...

501

2010-03-03T08:42:00.003-07:00

501 posts to my little ol' bloggy here. well, this post is 501.

i haven't updated because, well, because sometimes blogging is too much work. and i don't think anybody reads this anyway. but i will update what is happening in our lives. well, i'll sorta update, because it would be too boring, even for me.

we survived off track time. 4 weeks is a long time to be off track. 4 weeks in february is longer. 4 weeks on not really being able to go outside causes a lot of contention in the house, especially when you have 3 boys who are all different. harry wanted to read, chilli wanted to play for and be wild. and fussy didn't want his brothers to mess up his perfect life of being spoiled and momma's boy.

but we survived. we did have some sickness toward the end. a nice bout of stomach bug and sore throats. we did get through it.

we went to the history of ancient life, we went to the build a bear knockoff ( it was a promise from fussy's birthday) and we had a day of painting and building various crafts. we also made it to "the lightening thief". the boys put up with my running schedule, and i endured their sleeping schedule, which was usually in a tent in the basement. they pretended they were camping each night. and they read to each other until they would fall asleep. which resulted in harry reading the entire percy jackson series, and then re reading the first 3 books back to jimmy. who is chili, he just wanted me to change his name on my blog.

pictures and more to come later.

this made my day.

2010-02-16T11:44:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjNKyoRudOQ&feature=player_embedded

off track--week 2, day...6?

2010-02-08T19:30:00.002-07:00

there was much reading today. and much early rising. fussy decided to get up early to greet the day, and insisted on a cereal bar.

chili made treasure maps

harry read

fussy wanted to watch movies

they really were good though. fussy decided to crash way before bedtime, so i am anticipating another early morning...

off track day 5= 1 week of track. 3 more weeks to go.

2010-02-06T10:06:00.002-07:00

3 more weeks. we can do this. it would be awesome if spring popped in right about now. it would be awesome if we had a little less "personality" to deal with. and by personality, i mean grumpiness. we gotta whole lotta grumpiness happening around here.

yesterday we went to deb's house and had an art day. it was awesome. the boys created and played. we went to the park and they played. it was good. getting to talk to my friends is good for me, just like it is good for them.

my new 3 year old

2010-02-04T20:49:00.003-07:00

fussy had a great birthday this year. he had 2 birthday parties with lots of blue frosting.

we had a little get together with our family. they spoiled him rotten. he also had more cake. he was in heaven.

off track--day 4

2010-02-04T20:38:00.002-07:00

"mom, where's my brother's? i need to be a brother."

we did not make pet rocks. chili threw a couple of fits, and fussy chased his brother around. there was a moment of bliss when they were all outside playing in the sun. they didn't have jackets on, nor shoes. they were outside enjoying the day. it was momentous.

they then came in and tracked mud all over the house.

for that half hour of peace, it was worth it.

off track- day 3

2010-02-03T18:16:00.002-07:00

"i really want to watch the 4th harry potter movie, because that would help me be better at winning the harry potter game. right mom?"

the kids woke up, and were out of bed, before the normal time that i have to plead with them to get out of bed on school days. i had one kid begging to play video games. and one kid begging to make breakfast. so i rolled over and let them do what they wanted.

seriously though, it's before 7.30 and they are up and going. on a school day, i am begging and threatening them to get out of bed. why is that? they are going to bed later, yet they seem to get up much earlier.

and harry made breakfast this morning. he made eggs all by himself. i mean, i did get up, and i did make sure he didn't die from using the stove. but still, he did it all by himself. and then he made pancakes. he set out a plate for everyone. it was odd, but nice too.

we actually got out of the house too. after watching a harry potter movie, and playing a couple of video games, they were actually willing to make a trip to the craft store and the dollar store. i hope we got enough stuff to keep them busy for the rest of off track time. tomorrow, i think we will make pet rocks...

off track- day 2

2010-02-02T15:17:00.004-07:00

"i really like these chicken nuggets, mom. they are so moist. maybe because they are shaped like fish?"

we don't have cable. we have regular digital t.v. whatever that means. anyway, on our box, that we hooked up to our t.v., a little message comes on if it has been on for more than 4 hours, without a channel change. the little message came on today. it's been a day with a lot of pbs kids.

oh, and it's also been a big day for circus animal cookies. for some reason my oldest really loves those. and the youngest really likes feeding them to the dog.

i'm thinking a field trip for tomorrow would be a good idea. maybe to the dollar store? maybe to the craft store. we need something more productive than watching arthur all day.

off track- day 1

2010-02-01T17:08:00.003-07:00

"brother, hurry quick! you gotta get out of there before the mop of doom gets you!"

this morning, as i was waking up, getting ready for the day, the three boys were exercising. they had market off spaces in the kitchen as certain stations. with masking tape, they had them labeled. the sit up station, the running track (around the kitchen island) and the rest station with blankets and yoga mat. they continued "working out" for about an hour or so. they then brought the scale down and weighed themselves. they congratulated each other on losing weight.

does this say something about big d and me? does this say something funny about my kids?

whew!

2010-01-31T20:38:00.002-07:00

january is over
now
onto february,
which leads to march,
that ends in april,
which starts may,
and that means summer is just around the corner...

3 years ago

2010-01-28T16:06:00.005-07:00

some little known facts about fussy...

came on his due date. even though i was walking around the walmart at 10 am that day, cursing under my breath, and happily telling everyone that it was my due date. he still decided to show up

was born on my mom's birthday

loves pickles

has a fear of spiders. or bugs. he screams like a girl when he sees one.

has an opinion on everything, from what pajamas he wants to wear, down to what juice is the best.

hates the bathtub with a passion

can sing the tune to "indiana jones"

really into airplanes

loves dollars
enjoys getting out of the house and going to stores, until we get there and then begs to go home

rode over 300 miles in the jogger last year

favorite thing to say "i'm sick, i need a vitamin..."

favorite meal is buh-buh-bar (aka granola bar)

acts shy around everyone, until he warms up. he can talk your ear off

loves staying up late

loves sleeping in late

doesn't love his own bed

hates the dog

happy birthday my big 3 year old

health care

2010-01-20T13:55:00.005-07:00

i've been thinking about health care. big d and i are again doing some healthy challenges this year. and again, we are trying to eat much healthier, no sugar etc. fussy went to the dr. 2 days last month for fear of a broken arm. the boys seem to be doing better and not getting as sick...yet. so heath and health care is on my mind.

since i don't know anything, i really don't think i'm qualified to stick up my own option. i mean, i know everyone has their opinion about what they think will work. and a lot of those opinions don't include a government run program. or at least, the opinion that i hear most is very upset at the idea of "socialized" medicine.

i'm not a socialist. i'm not a republican. i don't know what i am. i do know that i get upset when people start complaining that they are going to do anything for anyone else. i find myself wondering where our responsibility lies when we complain about anything that helps out other people.

anyway, i found this chart, and i thought it was very enlightening.

the problem as i see it, too many people don't want to change. they see the way we've done it for years, and don't want to worry about how to make it different. we are comfortable with the way it works, even if that means our neighbors can't pay out of pocket for insurance, and thus suffer/die/go bankrupt.

we need to step out of our comfort zone, and look at the big problem. no, maybe what is being proposed isn't the best answer, but it sure beats what we have now. we need to stop listening to political rhetoric and propaganda, and start learning the facts. what needs to change, and what will change, and what we want to change don't always line up. wouldn't it be awesome if it did?

and that is all i'm going to say about that.

my thoughts on friends

2010-01-06T11:38:00.002-07:00

i've been praying for a really long time for friends. good friends. like the kind of friends you have in high school. or the kind of friends i had in high school. the kind that call you up and you can talk to for hours. you can get together whenever, and still act silly. i miss having those friends. i have missed it for a long time.

then, one day, i stopped myself and looked around me. i do have those friends. i've just been so involved with my own life for so long. i've spent 11 years trying to get pregnant, having a new baby, or involved in sleep deprivation, that i haven't been able to see my hand in front of my face. sometimes, all you need is a wake up call.

i recently reconnected with one of my best friends from high school. i had lost her for 12 years, she was one of those people that really had an impact on me. she changed my life for the better, because of her example. she was real and wonderful. and i really missed her. thanks to facebook, she is back in my life. it feels good.

another best friend called me up, out of the blue. it was refreshing to remember growing up, having fun, being silly, and all that came with that. it was nice to know that she understands now what i've been going through. it was even more nice to hear her laugh and feel that kind of warmth.

i also have my sister. even though we don't always get along the best, i love hanging out with her. she is fun and she supports me in everything. she loves my kids. she understands a lot.

i can't forget my mom. she always knows when i need a phone call, or a hug. she can be at my house at the drop of a hat when i have an emergency, and she talks me down when i get upset. she offers advice based on love. sometimes i don't want to hear it, but it's always there for me

my sister in law is there for me in a different way. when i don't understand family things, she is right there with me. i don't know if she knows what it has meant to me to have someone that is understanding as she is. someone who is as forgiving as she is. she also reminds me of how i want to be, and how i want my future to be.

besides me family and "irl" friends, i have a multitude of angels who listen, offer advice, make me laugh, and keep me going throughout the day. i would be lost with them, and what they add to my life. our combined life experiences are invaluable.

for years, i've been looking for my friends, when really, they've always been there. i am so blessed to be able to have so many women who care about me. i am so thankful. i'm literally surrounded by friends, and it makes me happy.

thank you

2010-01-05T10:23:00.002-07:00

christmas isn't fun without awesome food, lots of games and hanging out with family. it's not good without treats, lots of soda, ham, turkey, and chocolate, and mountains of home made goodies. with a special helping of playing with cousins and making fun of each other, all in good spirits. we had a good one this year.

my favorite aunty, my parents, my sister...you guys are the best. thank you for taking care of us and our kids, and making us all smile. thanks for the laughs, the hugs, the gifts, and the loads of love. we really are blessed to have you! you spoil us in every way possible.

there are days

2010-01-04T08:59:00.005-07:00

yesterday was one of those days. i tweaked my back at church, overheard a new rumor about me, sat by myself, dealt with grumpy kids. i burned my favorite treat. i felt invisible, envious, childish, and sad.

days like that are the ones that make you want crawl into a hole, or start drinking.

today is a different day. even though my back is still bugging me, and my eyelids are droopy, and the sun is still not out, at least it's january. and the longest month of the year. we only have something like 12 more weeks of gross winter left. only 12. it could be worse, it could still be december.

i need some sunshine.

2010-01-01T12:14:00.002-07:00

103 blog posts for 2009
1915 miles logged for 2009
3 children still living
10 dead fish
1 trip out of state
4th grade
1st grade
2 lost teeth
12 years married

goals for this year:
run more, run better, run faster
never ever ever get sick
eat healthy food always, cut out all refined sugars, dairy, and processed foods
be kind to everyone
do not covet
never yell at the kids
stop swearing
lose 50 pounds

there's always next year! because honestly, right now, i'm sicker than i've been in a while. big d is out right now running with my new garmin that i haven't even used yet. so i'm jealous. so i am swearing. and yelling at the kids. and eating junk food. happy 2010.

2009-12-20T20:21:00.003-07:00

today, as we sat down to dinner, a knock came at the door. fussy jumped right up and yelled "SANTA CLAUS!!", and ran for the door.

fussy keeps asking me every day what santa is going to bring him. i have to answer with "what did you ask him for?" and he tells me "a little elephant". we have this exchange probably 3-4 times each day. almost as many times as the whole "what's your name momma?...."

every time fussy sees a christmas tree or any kind of christmas decoration, he yells "CHRISTMAS!" and begs me to look and see.

if i weren't such a scrooge myself, i would be having an awesome christmas time. really though, it's gonna be a fun. if we can last the rest of the week.

for the first time in weeks...

2009-12-19T14:55:00.003-07:00

and lots of weeks, like 5 or so. maybe less, maybe more. anyway, for the first time in weeks, i actually feel good. and i had a run outside. yeah yeah, it was cold and cold and really cold and all that, but i was outside! and the sun would have been shining had not there been a layer of gunk in the air. but i was outside.

it was glorious, and wonderful, and i feel so much better than i have in a really long time. in fact, i can type faster, i can read better, i can sit still longer, eat more, drink less, lift small vans, clean the house, punish children, fix the paint, dry the carpets, wash my hair, jump high, fly, catch crooks, turn back time, beam myself from 2 places, do laundry, fix the car, defrost chicken, feed the chickens, make lunch, vacuum the floors. it's nice to feel like myself again....

being responsible sucks

2009-12-18T08:51:00.004-07:00

i was talking with a good friend the other night, about how hard it is to be the responsible one.

we were both sharing stories about people in our lives, who made bad decisions. people who knowingly made wrong choices. and the consequences that came from the bad choices. not one consequence ever seemed to fit. in fact, most of the time, they ended up in a better spot. due to the fact that everyone else helped them out.

so what is the difference? how does one become irresponsible? i'd like to learn. i'd like to have people take care of me for once. to watch my kids, or buy them lessons. i'd like to understand how it all works out. maybe even being half-responsible would work?

2009-12-17T16:10:00.003-07:00

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

random bits of life

2009-12-16T11:34:00.003-07:00

i'm cold all the time, so i put flannel sheets on the bed. they have snowflakes and polar bears pictured on them. my question is, if the sheets are supposed to be so warm, why don't they have pictures of cacti and sand dunes and desert landscapes?

the other day, my sister said "hello gorgeous!" to fussy. he turned around and said "i'm not gorgeous, i'm batman"

the boys were talking about digging a deep hole in our backyard. harry mentioned that it would probably flood and be full of water. chilli said that it was okay, the dog could just drink out of it.

the boys have been sledding after school every day. they seem to have a tolerance for cold and snow only when they are speeding down the hill on what big d calls "suicide saucers"

fussy's had 2 favorite movies right now. "edward scissor hands" and "annie". he also loves that commercial for the gap, that features the girls doing a chear like thing about the boots.

chilli

2009-12-13T22:29:00.003-07:00

gingerbread houses

2009-12-13T21:21:00.007-07:00

the yearly tradition lives on!

2009-12-10T20:46:00.002-07:00

it's been a rough week for harry. he is a genius. well, not really. but he's really really smart. he reads like crazy, writes like an author. the only problem he has is math. and it's not like he's not smart in it, just that it doesn't come easy.

he spent last week being defiant about his homework. he told his teacher he'd turn it in this week. he's spend the week on this weeks' homework, not doing either. he turns it in on friday.

so i sat down with him (he won't let me help unless he asks) and we toughed it out. we worked like crazy on long division. i went to my basketball game, harry came with me. when the other team didn't show up, we sat on the chairs and worked on long division more. page after page we worked. and you know what? it started to click with him.

i think i almost understand why teachers do the job they do. it was an awesome feeling when he looked at me, knowing how to do it. he went from "this is stupid and i hate it" to "hey, this is kinda fun" to "i totally rock at long division". it was a very rewarding experience for me, and i think harry felt a lot better about himself. plus, i think it helps us. you know, the whole, mom and son thing. i don't know how to explain it, just that, even though i was bored, tired, annoyed, by long division, it was totally worth it to see him "get" it. i am really proud of him for working so hard, and i'm a little bit proud of me for figuring it out too.

12 is

2009-12-04T12:06:00.003-07:00

the number that was on the thermometer this morning.

the number of boys jeans i picked up this morning...either too small or too big, or have too many holes, or they are just dirty. between 3 boys, that is still a lot

the number of eggs i found in the chicken coop

the number of matchless socks i found lying around

the time of day it is

the number of miles i've run this week(so far, right? i could have a good day today)

the number of points my team made at the basketball game last night

the number of times i've smashed my nose. most recently at the basketball game last night

the number of times i've tried to get a run in on the treadmill today

+ a billion, the number of times we've watched the new star trek movie

the number of times i want to eat the chocolate i brought home from the candy store

the number of bids on ebay for the cool star trek toys, that i was outbid on,that i wanted to get for the boys for christmas

it must be the nexus of the universe. or maybe just the nexus of star trek.

funny fussy

2009-12-03T09:34:00.004-07:00

foot art

2009-12-03T08:59:00.005-07:00

my feet

big d's feet

fussy's feet

harry (the one who started it all)'s feet

chilli's feet (doesn't he look like a yellow submarine artist?)

and of course, it quickly progressed to mustaches and body art

yeah, that is chilli's version of body hair, tattoos and glasses

we had a jack sparrow show up

and the boys had fun decorating me. i look awesome.

2009-11-25T10:22:00.002-07:00

i always tease big d about being an optimist. he can call, busy at work, in a meeting, or something else, and give me a prediction for his arrival home. i usually add and hour. or if we need to meet someone, i add time, or if he wants to have a day off, he will be hopeful, while i just don't make plans until last minute. something always comes up. i always tell him he's an optimist and i'm a realist. i've gotten used to it over time.

in motherhood though, i'm defiantly an optimist. one of my kids will throw up and i'll make an excuse. "maybe dinner was bad", or "maybe he jumped around too much". when in reality i know that he is sick.

such is fussy. since sunday. it started sunday night with a late night puke. and the optimist in me thought, "this is just a one time thing. no big deal, he'll feel better in the morning". and fussy did feel better in the morning. and he played and jumped and then puked again. only it was a lot later. so i just thought "well, his stomach is probably just tired from last night, and he was jumping around a lot". and then he puked that night. and then my realist side kinda kicked in. and i knew he was sick.

last night he was up every hour, on the dot. which makes for the grumpy realist side of me to stomp my foot. tomorrow is the big turkey day, and if this continues as history predicts, well, i won't be going. i will be home with either fussy, or someone else. or even myself. pukey sicks rarely leave the house with just one victim.

i guess it's time to stop making fun of big d.

wow, i know....

2009-11-23T10:47:00.009-07:00

i'm as inconsistent as ever. it's been a rough first half of november though. for me. the boys are loving it, as they are off track. we went to arizona. so to try and enlighten you all (hi mom!) on what we did, here's some pictures.

driving to arizona. this is when it started to clear up. yeah, that is snow. obviously we hadn't made it to arizona yet.

the van after the snow storm. that's not snow, it's ice. it was cold. really really cold.

the hotel the first night. the boys were so hyper that we just let them watch movies until they could go to sleep.

glen canyon dam

these were some ruins in some place that i can't remember the name. it was in arizona and it was really cold. but they were totally worth it. you know, for something 800+ years old, they don't look too bad.

the lizards, which ironically were in the 30 degree temperatures, but not so much when we were in tucson.

the lava flow from the volcano. super cool. and still really cold. that is why no one is in this picture. we didn't want to get out of the van, so we let big d do all the dirty work.

then to the zoo. which was cool cuz they had these animals. the otters.

and these, the polar bears. i love the polar bears

then the desert museum. which is awesome. seriously. too bad we were a bit tired and grumpy.

kitt peak. which was a very pretty drive. and not much else. sorry big d. i wish it would have been cool like you remembered

then to old tucson. the place they make western movies. nothin' beats a good john wayne movie, right? it really was interesting.

then the trip home. montezuma's castle. amazing!

and hoover dam, and the new bridge

2200 miles round trip. that is a lot of time in the van. it was 4 days of traveling. we made a lot of stops, ate way too much junk food, way too much fast food, and didn't get to spend near enough time in arizona. and we came home to snow.

halloween

2009-11-04T09:31:00.008-07:00

election day

2009-11-03T09:15:00.003-07:00

it brought tears to my eyes today as i drove home after taking the kids to school. the tears were for the candidates standing out on the corners of the street waving little signs. they were waving them in earnest and i thought about how wonderful it is to live in a country where you vote for your leaders.

it hit me then, that we are all in this together. even though we all think different, feel different, or value different things, the one thing that is the most important, is our ability to choose those people who we think can do the best job. the leaders that can protect our rights.

and whoever wins, or whatever happens next, we should be proud of the fact that we had a hand in it. there is nothing more awe inspiring than that.

before we left the house, chili asked if it was a holiday today, and i told him that it kinda was. he just wanted to stay home from school. it made me realize that this is one of the most important days of the year, and maybe we should celebrate it. this is the day that reminds us what it is like, and how wonderful it is, to be an american.

halloween hangover

2009-11-02T09:47:00.004-07:00

this morning, in an effort to be smart and on top of things, and an all around good homemakery wife and mommy, after i dropped the boys off at school, fussy and i stopped in at the local walmart. i wanted some things for dinner and i wanted to see the halloween clearance.

the boys had a generous helping of halloween candy for breakfast. fussy did too. only he was much enamored with his new found joy of bubble gum. i let him have it because we weren't at home, and i'm a bad, bad mom. as we were cruising around the local walmart, in search of something halloweeny that we did not yet have, and that we desperately needed, fussy shoved his gum to the back of his throat and started choking. then he puked.

all over himself and all over the cart and the floor. i was impressed because i really didn't think he had eaten much this morning. apparently i was wrong. we were close to the bathrooms so i was able to only endure a few stares from shocked customers and employees. in the bathroom i cursed the walmart for not ever having paper towels, or sinks that were child height.

fussy was not sick, he was not upset. he just had puked. he stunk though. enough to make me wanna yarf. there was a moment of dilemma for me. should i leave and take him home in his body fluid soaked clothes, or continue the shopping so i wouldn't have to come back. i continued the shopping.

about 5 minutes later, fussy decided more humiliation was due, and since he was fresh out of puke, he decided to hurl to the floor a plastic potion bottle filled with candy skulls. (it was clearanc-ed!) the bottle shattered in a violent and dramatic way, and of course, the shelf stockers were right there. what luck! i was embarrassed and frustrated but the kind walmart employee was reassuring me that he'd get someone to clean it up for me. i got the rest of my shopping done and we headed for the checkout. in record speed we were out the door, thank goodness, fussy was really starting to get rank.

we loaded the groceries into the van and i noticed that our sneaky dog had been a stowaway from the trip to the school. she was ripping up garbage from the boys latest trip to mcdonalds. fussy climbed in and left the door open, only i didn't see it, and as i was putting the cart away, the dog escaped. i climbed into the van and started the engine and was backing out before i saw my stupid doggy, wagging her tail at me through the window, whinging to get back into the van.

we did make it home. i got the 2 year old cleaned up, i got the dog home, the van cleaned up and the groceries put away. then the dog choked and hacked something up, all over the floor. what is it today that has a lot of puking going on? is it just our halloween hangover? i wonder what else is waiting for me today. i'm hoping it doesn't' involve any more body fluids.

random daily irony

2009-10-30T13:26:00.002-07:00

running 7 miles on the treadmill, wearing a "les miserables" t-shirt

fussy's nightmare

2009-10-29T07:54:00.003-07:00

we woke up the other night, in the middle of the night, to a bloodcurdling scream. now, it probably was scarier for big d, who was face to face with fussy, seeing it was fussy who screamed. i had never heard my child, or any child, scream so loud, so scared, or for so long. it took a good minute to calm him down. he spent the next hour shaking and burrowing under the covers of my bed. i tried to find out what was wrong, the only thing i got out of him was something about daddy's head.

i don't know if it is right or not, but i like to find out what my kids nightmares were about. so the next day, fussy and i were talking about what he had dreamed about. it went something like this:

"did you have a scary dream last night?"

"uh-huh"

"what did you dream about"

"daddy's head"

"was daddy's head not on his body?"

"nope, it was off"

"how did that happen?"

"i cut it off, like this" (sliding his hand across his throat)

should i be concerned about this? i mean, my child is dreaming of cutting off his fathers head! i'm hoping it's just a bit of halloween gore that is giving my kid nightmares. i must say the screaming freaked us out, but hearing the details of the dream kinda freaked me out more. it probably unsettles big d much more.

bloggin about the weekend

2009-10-20T18:54:00.004-07:00

friday, big d came home early. i decided it was beautiful weather and went for a run. with my dog. we went not very far when a big german shepard came out of nowhere and attacked my dog. poor lil' lexi. i was distraught. after kicking and screaming, and getting the dogs separated, we came home. i cried, lexi shook. she hid. she bled a lot. she had quite the puncture wound. we watched her close friday night. she was breathing hard, even sleeping. it was scary. i never realized how much i love that stupid dog.

saturday, we did chores. we watched lexi get better. i went for a nice run. harry and i went to an usborn party where we spent more money than we should have, but hopefully got some good books for christmas. we then went on a hike, where the boys wore us out. we had a lot of fun exploring, even if fussy screamed to walk, and chili didn't' want to go because he didn't want his feet to hurt. we had a late dinner and watched a movie after. we were up with chili who had a stomach ache, and harry who had a sore throat. we stayed up too late, and we were already tired.

sunday, we spent the day being sick. with a snotty nosed fussy, and a sore throat harry and a stomach ache chili, we decided to stay home from church. we watched that mini series "john adams", and were quite lazy. we found out that our chickens were moulting. it was crazy, the coop is full of feathers.

sunday night, we had the same stomach pain from chili, sore throat from harry. only big d and i were also feeling cruddy.

that lead to monday where we stayed home from school and were lazy again. only about half way through the day i wish i had sent the boys to school. because they felt better and were crazy. big d took chili to the wood store and they started on a project for halloween.

so even though we had a long weekend, with monday off, we were still home sick. it was nice today when i got them off to school. and it was quiet. i think we are all still fighting a bug, but at least we can function now.

wordless thursday

2009-10-15T09:20:00.002-07:00

found in the backpack yesterday

guess the child

2009-10-14T19:01:00.003-07:00

mom: "look at the parachuters!"
child: "yeah, a plane must have blown up!"

child:"i wish you two would stop swearing"
under his breath "but i know it's never going to happen"

child: "mom, i'm not a big red clifford dog"
mom "uh, okay"

2009-10-13T11:46:00.002-07:00

i took fussy for a run today. it's getting to be the time of year when you have more bad days, more cold weather days. it's a treat when you can get outside for a run. i don't want to miss any opportunity to get outside.

i peeked out the window before we left, and i noticed that the trees were swaying. it didn't look too bad, so we went anyway.

i realized my mistake about 2 miles in. the wind was fierce. fussy had a blanket wrapped around him, and a blanket over the jogger. he was fine, the wind was just a minor thing for him. he was snuggled down watching a movie on my ipod. me, on the other hand, was pushing the jogger, decked out in blankets, into the wind. i had the dog leashed up to the jogger, but she was struggling like i was. it was just like an intense uphill run. my lungs and legs were burning, and i'm sure i was doing close to a 12 minute mile.

i couldn't wait to turn around and point the jogger the direction the wind was blowing, so that i could have a break, so i could breath. so i could feel my legs, and finish the run going a 6 minute mile.

as i was struggling with the jogger, pushing with all my might, trying not to trip, i thought that this is how life is exactly. we know we should be pointed the right way. we know we should be doing the things we are supposed to. we know what God wants from us, to be good people. it's when we think we know better, and we go against Him, that we understand how hard it really is. we get too tired, we don't understand that turning around, and doing what He wants us to, makes it so much easier.

it's like looking out the window and not recognizing the wind. you can see the effects of it, with the tree's moving and the birds being thrown off course, but until you get out into, you don't realize how really strong it is. such is life. the world can blow us way off course.

i finished my run about 10 minutes longer than the same distance usually takes. if only i had turned around earlier, i could have achieved my goal so much quicker. and i was exhausted when i got home. i felt as if i had run 10 miles, instead of the 7 i actually ran.

where did it go?

2009-10-08T12:13:00.003-07:00

the time that is.

i pulled out the 3T clothes for fussy last night. i rummaged and found so many favorites from harry and chilli. i started picturing pictures of harry wearing the same clothes. clothes that he wore when his baby brother was born. i realized fussy is the same age harry was when chilli was born. and close to the age chilli was when he was born.

fussy still seems so much like a baby to me. maybe that is why he is so spoiled. i mean, he is my baby, and he always will be. it just feels like the time is going way to fast. like someone left my life on fast forward and i can't get it to pause.

sometimes i do have a hard time with the certain stages of childhood. i rather someone else potty train my kid for me, or wean him, or get through the terrible two's. but still, i know i need to hold still and appreciate this time more than i do. when you are in the throws of it, it is hard to appreciate the kid screaming about the dog eating his food when he fed it to the dog. or the endless nights of waking up. cleaning up the bathroom after an accident. holding a fevered child, figuring out why the vacuum doesn't work anymore, or cleaning up the endless piles of sand on the carpet. i guess i should look at it this way, no other time in my life will i have so much to complain about. i should enjoy it while i can.

wordless wednesday

2009-10-07T11:42:00.002-07:00

crazy hair day

2009-10-06T07:14:00.003-07:00

i really like chili. he loves to do crazy stuff, which sometimes, can be bad. most times, it's just fun. where harry is against coloring or doing anything fun to his hair, chili wanted something fun for crazy hair day. so we did this:

eggs

2009-10-05T09:02:00.005-07:00

our chickens have decided to slow down on the laying right now(kinda like my blogging). i get maybe one or two a day, which is pretty bad production. i actually had to buy eggs at the grocery store the other day.

when i cracked them open to make puffy pancakes on sunday, this is what i saw:

that is a store egg, and a fresh from our chicken egg. the biggest difference is the color. the store egg is so pale yellow, it looks kinda sickly. our fresh egg is nice and orange, like it's supposed to be. there are other differences, the store eggs shell is really easy to pop open, i always break them by accidentally sticking my thumb through them. our chicken egg shells are tough. they need more force to break them, and to pry them open. the yolks are different. the store bought eggs yolks break open easily, while it takes a bit to break the fresh egg yolks.

i thought it was interesting to see them side by side. i really like getting fresh eggs. we've been so spoiled by having them since spring. if our chickens follow what they've done in years past, they will pick up production for a few weeks, and then they will take the winter off. it's always so much fun to find that first egg of the season, and it's always sad to check the coop and find nothing there.

2009-09-29T12:36:00.004-07:00

i received a magazine the other day, just in time for christmas shopping. i was looking at the toy kitchens. i always wanted a toy kitchen growing up, maybe i'm projecting that onto my kids. anyway, you know what i found? that every single one of the kitchens in this fancy shmancy kid catalogue were pink. PINK.

i don't know anyone in real life that has a pink kitchen.

you know where i am going with this, right? good, then i don't have to go there.
*walks away shaking my head in disgust*

2009-09-28T12:08:00.002-07:00

i was making gravy for dinner yesterday, with a 2 year old screaming and balancing on my hip, i was wondering what the gourmet chefs would think. i mean, my gravy turned lumpy at the last minute. i'm sure it was the fault of the 2 year old and the lack of my constant attention to detail. my wisk was set down as i rescued him from a major melt down. in my mind, i compared gourmet cooking and cooking for kids like this: it is like practicing for a basket ball game, when you can make the shot 100% during the practice, but once you have the other team jumping up and down in front of you, or slapping you around, or being noisy, it makes it much harder. a gourmet cook, or one of the fancy cooks can make the best gravy. it's never lumpy. everything is delish. it's just like a practice. they have no interference, no fouls, and no distractions.

my food however, may never make it to that standard. most of the time, it's just awesome if it isn't burned. i usually forget what i was doing after i changed a diaper, got a band aid, fixed a bike tire, or helped with the math homework. the pressure of it all! of course you can say that my meals are peppered with love, and seasoned with service. i do it because i love my children and i enjoy cooking wonderful food for them. it would be nice to actually cook wonderful food for them. and then have them eat it. instead of throwing it back at me telling me it was "gross" because of the "green things". or wanting ketchup for "dip". or the days when they get up and make themselves their own peanut butter and jelly sandwich. those are the days that i wonder what i do it all for.

in reality, cooking for a family is like those hard win basket ball games. i'm just there to get the job done. i wish the ref would show up and call a few fouls. i'd love to be able to not trip on a toy dinosaur, or have a small person scream from the other room in pain because his brother punched him. my attention could be focused on the meal instead of the cramp in my arm from holding the fussy baby. i hope someday i'll have better success and every cake that comes out of the oven won't have a layer of carbon, or that i will someday leave behind lumpy gravy. but for now, i'm just showing up. game on.

my first and only.... a lame book review

2009-09-22T19:25:00.006-07:00

i read this book.

i was excited about it, mostly because i love a good controversy. so bigd got the book from the library, and i decided to read it first, mostly because i wanted to read it first because i am mean like that. anyway...

there are two kinds of books out there. well, there are more than that, but there are two kinds of books that i like. the ones that are entertaining, and the ones that make you think. you get bonus points if you make both lists.

sadly this book made neither. it was much too boring to be interesting, and much to redundant and predictable to be entertaining.

so this robert langdon dude is back,and he does the exact same thing he does in the other two books he is in. he runs around with an attractive woman and finds clues to a mystery or puzzle, and eventually finds out that he already knows the answer. with a lot of plot twists. the only different thing about this book and the davinci code, was that THAT book made you want to google pictures and learn a little history while you were reading. angels and demons made you want to know who's the bad guy? in this book, there was a point that i thought the author was going to do something pretty intersting/brave, and unheard of, but then you find out it is just another "thing". that is all it was, a formulaic and pretty predictable book.

mostly it's about the masons and our founding fathers. as in our founding fathers were religious guys who were also masons. which if you know anything about history, it doesn't come as a big surprise. i was bored and i actually skipped pages. whole pages. i haven't done that since elementary school. we all know many of our founding fathers were masons. the only slightly interesting thing was he got sort of detailed about the rituals. which, by the way, weren't as shocking as i was expecting, considering the drama surrounding the book release. (there was some, right?)

one of the biggest reasons that i wanted to read the book was because i had heard that dan brown came to salt lake city and spoke with leaders from the lds church. who knows what was said, but i found it interesting that part of my religion could have made it out there. maybe it did make the first draft and then was cut. i didn't really see a place for it. i really didn't see a place for anything. maybe that is because i skipped too many pages.

in the end, if you love a good mystery....wait, um....if you love a predictable mystery ( i know this is an oxymoron), shaken up with a little bit of history, and some silly characters, give it a read. if you want to read a good book, i'd pass on this one.

running

2009-09-22T11:16:00.003-07:00

it's about time.

it's about speed.

it's also about not getting hurt.

those heavenly and frustrating "rest" days.

but mostly, it's about doing the best you can for you. even if you don't go as fast as you used to. or you have a kid who screams and wants to "go home". it's about taking an hour for myself, even if i'm not by myself. even if i don't push myself, i am pushing myself to get out there. that is what it's about. being able to stop and watch the hawk eat a mouse, or see the fish in the pond, or watch the horses. seeing the occasional woolly bear cross the trail. it's about sweating and thinking. it's about planning the menu, or the grocery list, what to paint. or what to blog about. feeling good, even if i don't look that way. making up stories to tell to my kids. watching waterfalls. chasing ducks and cats. stopping at the castle, or the llamas, or feeding the baby goats. it's also about seeing the same people and saying hi. watching the same dogs chase my dog. running the same streets and watching people come and go. it connects me to where i am, and who i am, and what i want to be.

even if i never run as fast as i want to. or as far.

so it's september

2009-09-15T16:01:00.003-07:00

i am sad that september is half over
because if i had my way
summer would last a lot longer
from march to november
with a christmas snow
and then an early spring
and maybe a month of fall
in reality
i love fall
because it cools off
it winds down
the days are shorter
the night lasts longer
like going back to bed
crawling under blankets
and snuggling down
the trees
the mountains
the harvest
if only fall lead to spring
and not to winter
because for me
winter is like dying

overheard this morning

2009-08-28T08:22:00.003-07:00

it's way too early. i'm dozing. the music is annoying, but i've finally tuned it out. except the cartoon is now naming everyone.

wonderpig? seriously? and super reader, princess pea, blah blah blah....i'm just starting to doze, when the t.v. asks "now say your name"

and in the faintest of whispers, i hear "chilli". (well, i hear him use his own name)

as if he is trying to be subtle and pretend that he doesn't care. mostly i think he just doesn't want his big brother to make fun of him.

funny glasses

2009-08-26T16:36:00.006-07:00

the boys worked very hard today, cleaning up and arranging the basement. so they got to go to the dollar store. they all wanted a pair of silly glasses and a whoopie cushion. this is what happened when we got home.

silly boys. i was happy that they did work so hard today. we moved a lot of furniture and cleaned up a lot of mess. we threw away a lot of junk and we all feel better about the state of playroom now. it's funny though, how a silly thing like funny glasses can make the day worth it.

star wars

2009-08-23T17:06:00.004-07:00

there is this old theater that runs movies in the summertime. last night, after a long day of running errands, big d thought it would be fun to take the kids to see the original "star wars" at the theater.

i learned a couple of things.

1. fussy doesn't sit still through movies. really. he likes movies, and likes to watch them, but in a movie theater situation, he always needs a drink, he always needs candy. he wiggles, he kicks, he generally isn't happy. i remembered this about 5 minutes after we sat down.

2. star wars geeks come in all ages and sizes. but mostly the 30 year old single male that is generally in the shape of a donut. and they smell funny. and they seem to have an awful lot of money for darth vader costumes and props (incidentally, fussy calls darth vader "light saver").

3. people who get into free movies don't always bathe. teaching your kids the basics and reasons of hygiene has never been easier when they can see the reasoning behind it. we had to move our seats because the people in front of us really smelled so bad. like 3 isles up you could smell them. and we weren't really sure what it was, only that it was foul.

4. there was a kid that looked like mr. bean sitting in front of us. no really, he looked exactly like mr. bean. it was awesome.

5. the cutest voice was fussy yelling out "D-2 D-2"!!

6. i've seen star wars a hundred times. probably. this time it was cool during the opening credits. guess what, it's still star wars that i've seen 100 times. yeah, i was bored. sure, i think i was being distracted by fussy, and i was still tired from not sleeping the week before. i can tell you that the end battle scene is waaaaayyyy toooo long.

7. kids love going to movies. even if they have seen it 100 times.

8. i think it's better to be a star trek nerd than a star wars geek. while star wars might have more "action", it's really bad acting/script/dialogue. at least star trek is almost smart. just saying'.

9. fussy thinks chewbacca is a big dog. he even called it a puppy at one point. and made barking noises. awe, so cute.

10. the new version of star wars sucks. who really cares about han solo talking to a really dumb looking jabba the hut? or the other random parts. as big d said, the only thing it adds to the movie is time.

honestly though, it was fun. the kids loved it, big d loved it, and i loved that they all did. although, if they want to go see the other two movies, i think i'll stay home with fussy, send the other two with big d and a camera, and hope that the mr. bean kid is there.

yeah, i'll stay home and get my star wars fix the way it's supposed to be, playing the lego version. ahhhh yeahhhhh...

because really, the video game version is so much better.

vacation, it's about love....er...laundry

2009-08-21T19:54:00.007-07:00

we went on vacation this past week. we had a day where we went to the amusement park and watched the kids be crazy stunt men. it's not much. we can't afford to go to fancy places, hell, we can't even afford to leave our state. and the whole amusement park thing would be a no-go if we didn't have an awesome brother in law who spreads the wealth with discounts for us.

here are the pictures though. most of them are fussy related, really, we must hate our other two kids, huh? ah well. most of the time they were off playing with cousins or riding scary rides, or whatever. and you know, that fussy of ours is pretty dang cute

getting ready to ride puff the first time

harry, getting too big for the kiddie rides, but helping his baby brother non-the-lessfussy on the carousel
blurry me and fussy

driving his car

up on the mountain, he stole his daddy's hat

mating bugaflies

random big bug
climbing on the snow lift thing-ee

cousins, playing

the view

harry, master of the swings

and master of the crane

sunset

fussy at the swings...er... ski lift

mastering the swings again

all in all, we had an excellent time. it was wonderful to spend time with family. to let the cousins use their imaginations and get lost in their play. we swam at the pool, we hiked on the crane. we stayed up way too late playing games. it was so much fun, i'm glad i'm home now. although i would love to take another vacation from the laundry that i now have to do.

2009-08-18T11:57:00.002-07:00

we went to the local amusement park on saturday. our sweet 2.5 year old had a blast. we think.

who you really are

2009-08-13T08:19:00.003-07:00

chilli started fall soccer this week. in our 100 degree heat (i'm not complaining) we get to watch chilli run around like a crazy fool and maybe kick the ball once or twice. he is, shall we say, just in it for the fun. he doesn't really care. that makes me happy. because with an attitude like that, he will always have fun. it's one of the must frustrating and wonderful things about that kid. top that off with an ability at socializing and making friends, and you can see why he begged to play this year.

me on the other hand, well, i'm not quite like chilli. i am competitive, and i am not a natural at socializing. that is quite obvious from the opposing team. it was made up of most of the rest of the 6 year olds from our ward. the parents sort of have a thing going on. and whether we live on the wrong street, or we just aren't as outgoing as the rest, well, you get the idea.

sometimes, when i see how excluded i am, i really am thankful. mostly because that means i don't have to worry about changing who i am to fit in. i know i'm kinda quirky. i know i am NOT cool, by all means. but the pull is very real to fit in. when i am not in the group, i am almost grateful. seriously. sure, who like to be excluded? but when you think about it, i just know i wouldn't fit in. i wouldn't be able to be the real me. i'd always be wondering if what i was saying was stupid, or if my hair and nails and stiletto heels looked okay, if my butt was too big, or if i wasn't sending my kids to the right preschool.

the other side of the coin is this... i see pretty much the entirety of the ward and neighborhood 6 year olds out there, and i think that my poor son is being punished for me. because of my socializing ineptitude, my son won't fit in. because i don't fit in with the ward's inner ring, my kids are probably missing out on playmates. no matter what i do, my children will notice. they do notice. when most of the primary classes are on the opposing team, as well as the best friend and cousin, well...that sort of stinks.

big d reminded me that isn't not a big deal. they will get their own experiences and be able to do the same kinds of things, only it will be with people who do actually like them. and it will probably be when they are older and i'm not around to mess things up. i think he's right.

i certainly don't want to change who i am, nor do i want my kids to have to as well. do i want them to see me change who i am? i know the "inner ring" folks aren't having meetings to exclude, nor are they secretly plotting against my children. it's just how life works. sooner or later my kids are going to learn that life lesson, it might as well be sooner when i can be around and show them it doesn't really matter. it's better to be who you are than be who you aren't.

2009-08-08T20:43:00.002-07:00

finding your roots sometimes means you drive for a few hours to show your kids the exact place you grew up. even if that means a whole county. or a different state. or just really, really great chocolate.

big d had to work today. and in working, i mean, he was gone. is gone. all day. tomorrow too. so instead of sulking away the day, wishing for a more productive saturday (morning run? ha!) we went on an adventure. my 3 sons and i.

maybe it's because i didn't want to stay home and clean up for the 40th million time this week. or finish the laundry that i started wednesday. maybe it's because i just didn't want to be jealous of big d who was out of town, doing cool stuff.

so i strapped them in, and we left. and we drove. and drove.

we stopped at the chocolate factory. the place i remember so vividly. the smells of chocolate and popcorn, the feel of the cold ice cream cooler in the parlor. the ancient look of the place. after buying the kids enough chocolate to make them sick, we left. they loved it. they asked all sorts of questions, and i wished we could have taken a tour of the place.

we drove on.

and we came to the lake that i remembered for it's itty bitty shells that litter the place. the feel of the dark gritty sand and the cold water. the breathtaking view of the vibrant water. i sat back and watched the boys play in the freezing water, and giggled while they secretly loaded their pockets with little shells. i sat content on the sand and day dreamed about being there as a kid, chasing gulls myself, just as the two year old was doing.

after an hour of getting wet and getting very cold, we loaded up again. and drove.

fussy fell asleep. we wandered. we drove to the middle of nowhere and turned back toward home. and kept going. through forest trails and foggy clouds. we watched the trees get taller and then get shorter. we watched farms fade to forest and then back again. and a solitary horse standing at the base of a hill. we saw skunks crossing the road.

we drove on. i pointed out the house that my grandpa lived in. it's changed, mostly because i haven't seen it for real for a long time. then we stopped at the cemetery.

my kids are fascinated by the cemetery. any cemetery. but this one, they were holding their breath as i told them who the people were. from my grandparents to my great grandparents, the the greats that crossed the ocean to live in zion. we cleaned off the tombstones and while the boys were running around looking, i had a heart to heart with my grandpa. i told him all about his namesake. i told him how much i missed him, and how sorry i was that i hadn't been there in a very long time. we piled back into our van and they listened to more stories about me, being a kid, just like they are now.

we then started the journey home. and i felt good. like maybe i taught my kids something about me. like maybe they might someday remember that day trip we once took. and i hope it wasn't just about the chocolate that almost made them sick.

maybe it's not always about going away to some fun filled place with rides or shows or cousins or something cool to do. it could just be that spending time, finding out where you come from might actually be important. but the chocolate doesn't hurt.

there's a reason

2009-08-06T07:14:00.003-07:00

that i don't put my kids names, or where they go to school, or our names, or where we live on our blog. that is because the internet can be a scary place.

my blog is not private, which means that i get a lot of people to my blog that i don't know who they are. i kinda like it this way. it's fun to see where people come from and who is reading my ramblings. i like the idea of a private blog. i wouldn't have to worry so much about what pictures i post, and using fake names and all that jazz. but the fun factor kicks in and i know that i won't blog much if i make it private.

that said, please, PLEASE remember that my blog is public. please don't use my kids names if you know me in person. i know it may have slipped a couple of times, and i've been fixing them. if you leave a comment with my children's names, i will delete your comment. it's not that i don't like you, it's just that...i'm trying to be as safe as possible and have as much fun as i can. don't make me go private. i really do love the comments.

what's happened to me?!

2009-07-30T12:32:00.007-07:00

it's not like i'm sleeping any longer at night. or that i really have any more energy during the day. maybe i'm not running like crazy training for anything? maybe it's just because while missing two kids at school, there is a lot more stuff i can get done during the day.

i totally made salsa. i totally grated about 50 pounds of zucchini. then i made zucchini bread x8. i've deep cleaned the pantry, the fridge, and i'm working on the other cupboards.

what is wrong with me? besides being sorta homemakery, i'm turning into my mom. (which, i hope she takes that as a compliment, cuz you know, she rocks).

over the past couple of years, i really have never thought i would be able to keep up on housework. i thought i would always be lacking in that department. i mean really, 3 boys. 3 destructive boys! it's been hard to keep up on the laundry much less do anything else. but there is some sort of freedom with only having to worry about what #3 is doing. there is freedom in not having to go to the school 3 times a day.

and even better, is when i can get fussy down for a nap at 1, and the kids walk home and aren't home until 4. fussy can sleep for however long he wants and nobody will wake him up. making it much easier for me to get stuff done.

so now i get it. now i understand why women all go out to the park days, or out to lunch, or go shopping. i get how you can keep the house clean(er) and still have time for you.

i can't imagine what it's going to be like in 4 years when fussy goes to first grade!

*****************edited to add*************************

never feel too good about what you are doing. while i was writing this post on how nice it was only having to worry about one child, this same child, took an entire NEW jar of fish food and fed the fish. granted most of them were dead anyway, but it made me realize that you can never be too vigilant when you have a 2.5 year old.

july...in pictures.

2009-07-28T13:54:00.006-07:00

the last day of school. better known as the last day under the reign of the terrible witch. see the happiness in his eyes???

on the other hand, this poor kid is going to miss his "favorite teacher in the whole world". and that is saying something since it was his kindy teacher.

i'm gonna miss her too, because honestly, she is awesome.

big d's birthday. i think he is 48 or something. i made him an awesome star trek cake. with fondant. because i am THAT cool.

here we have a series of photos taken up at "the condo". probably my favorite place in the world.

fuss driving a crane, a natural born crane driver

harry, taking a hike up the crane. i wasn't there for this one, but it does give me squirmy insides.

the pool. i mean THE POOL. the place where my boys want to be 99% of the time.

fuss, actually enjoying the water

harry is a crazy pool boy. i'm glad he is holding his nose though.

me, sackin' out with my middle, ignored child.

the wild flowers were awesome. so we picked all of them to make sure that nobody else would.

one of the hikes where fussy couldn't fuss anymore. he crashed hard. and by crash, i mean sleep. he is not dead in this picture, although he looks that way.

a more artistic shot of the deadness of the fussmeister

a self photo from my crazy 9 year old. he is so much like me, it's scary.

chilli and me on the trail. you wouldn't believe how much that kid talks.

again, at the crane. fussy still dead.

me, peeing my pants trying to be fun.

this time i witness with my own eyes. i see only broken bones and fractured heads. good thing neither happened.

the angry look? probably from me saying "please get down before you fall!"

i'm still concerned, although i look so carefree and awesome.

brothers

2009-07-28T05:53:00.005-07:00

chilly was carrying fussy upstairs. they were playing some sort of game where fussy was being a doggy. chilly calls down to me and says that fussy is stinky and needs a diaper change. i yell up at him to change his diaper. chilly has never changed a diaper before. i am helping harry with some computer stuff. the next thing i know, fussy is coming down the stairs with a new diaper, and chilly is walking around as proud as can be. he actually changed his brother's poopy diaper.

of course, he left poopy wet wipes all over the bed. i thought that was pretty good for a first time diaper change.

the first day of school

2009-07-21T09:21:00.004-07:00

the air is crisp, the leaves are changing and it's back to school time....wait...not really. i mean, yes really, the kids went back to school yesterday. and it only topped out at over 100 degrees. but you do what you gotta do.

chilli was excited for lunch, 3 recesses, and almost everything about being a "big kid". he was so happy to find out that his class room was harry's 2nd grade classroom. he was super excited to use his new star trek lunchbox. he was probably the most enthusiastic when he realized the girl he had a crush on last school year, is in his class this school year.

harry was excited when he found out his classroom was actually a portable. he was happy when i walked into his room to meet his teacher and noticed that i knew her from high school. he had a super big grin when i picked him up from school. later he told me that he KNOWS this year is going to be good. he knows that his teacher is 1000 times better than his teacher last year.

i am thrilled. i am happy that my boys are happy. i am only sad when i think that my summer is already over. no more late nights, no more staring at the stars, or going to movies, or being incredibly lazy. it's back to business for us. well, at least for a few weeks, until we go off track.

2009-07-16T20:00:00.003-07:00

you know the movie is good, when the conversation is thin in the car on the way home. you know it's a good movie when the 6 year old has tears on his face. when the 9 year old holds your hand and you both squeeze so hard that you both lose feelings in your fingers. when you have to pee so bad, but you don't want to get out of your seat. when you think about parts of the movie, you giggle. when you can't wait to see it again.

and we didn't take pictures, but just know that we are all awesome. and reserved seats rock. and if the magical world was real, i'd totally have a clean house.

did you notice

2009-07-15T11:08:00.002-07:00

my harry potter countdown ticker is totally wrong. shame on me. or shame on the "the leaky cauldron" from where i got the thing.

i've been looking forward to this movie for year. when they changed the date from november, i cried. well , maybe i didn't cry, but i was mad. and now it's here. i didn't think it ever would come. kinda like when you are 12 and you think about graduating from high school. it's just not possible.

so yeah, please excuse the wrongness. it's not my fault. or it is because it's still there. i'll take it down after i see the movie and then come here to complain about it.

or post pictures of my kids all dressed up. not me, i don't dress up for things, cuz that is what geeky nerds do, and i'm totally not like that at all.

2009-07-15T10:49:00.003-07:00

why does the price of diapers stay the same, even when you move up a size, and the package is smaller, and the number of diapers included is smaller? is that just the incentive you need to potty train? as if dealing with 2.5 year old poopy isn't enough, it's like pouring lemon juice on a fresh paper cut.

yes, my child is getting old and could be potty training, but instead of being sympathetic to the mom who's child is making more poop now than he did when he was newborn; diaper manufacturers seem to want to bleed me for every dollar i've got.

if fussy hadn't grown out of his cloth diapers, i guess i wouldn't be in this predicament. or if i weren't so lazy. either way.

it must be a boy thing...

2009-07-14T18:50:00.003-07:00

the other day, we were on our weekly trip to the d.i., when i looked down to see both chilli and fussy laying on the ground, peering under the women's changing room doors.

i don't think they were seen. i hope they weren't seen. it's embarrassing enough to drag screaming kids out the door. still, i can't help but wonder what i would do, or say, if i saw a 6 year old accompanied by his baby brother, gawking at me while i was trying on clothes.

another dilema

2009-07-01T11:23:00.002-07:00

if you couldn't guess, we've watched a lot of star trek in the last couple of weeks. big d and my sister are plotting against me. she works for the library and puts us on hold for all the original series (TOS for you trekkers) dvd's. big d picks them up from the library and puts them into his itunes. which i am sure is illegal, but it's star trek right? ( i guess you could argue that he does own them by paying taxes to the library, but we won't go into that)

while we have been watching, i've even gotten into it a little bit. i must admit that it is terrible acting, and even somewhat silly. but it's star trek, which means you get sucked into the story. you end up wasting half an hour watching. the boys are ga ga over it, even fussy will demand now to "watch spock" which is both disturbing and hilarious at the same time.

school starts in just over 2 weeks. i know that sounds silly when we haven't even got out yet, but since i will have another "lunch at school" kid, i've been looking at lunchboxes. and, i'm sure you've guessed it, both are demanding a star trek lunch box.

now i can look at this in a couple different lights:

1. they probably won't ever lose their lunch box. no other kid in school is going to want to steal it. and everybody is going to know who's lunch box has kirk and spock on the front.

2. they are both going to be teased mercilessly

3. star trek just might be cool. or at least different enough that it could become cool. i'm not sure, but i think geeky has started to be more in style. maybe i'm just delusional from watching too much bad 60's t.v.

4. big d might be too jealous for them to actually take the lunch box to school, and demand one himself. if that is the case, i'm gonna be a whole lot poorer trying to find 3 of the silly things.

so the dilemma is, do i get them a couple of really great lunchboxes, have happy kids who might be bullied by their dad or the kids at school, but run less of a chance of losing their lunchbox.....or do i buy some other kind of random box that is totally bland and boring?

i like the idea of my kids being able to express themselves, and i'm really happy about the fact that they aren't into lame thing ( i know, this is totally subjective) like disney stuff, or hsm, or other weird crap like pokemon. i guess because i've grown fond of spock and kirk, maybe i should let my kids have lunch with them everyday.

2009-06-29T17:17:00.001-07:00

happy birthday harry

2009-06-29T16:56:00.005-07:00

we had a birthday party for harry last saturday. we only do birthday parties every other year. it saves on my sanity. last year chilli had one, this year it's harry's turn.

he went with a lego theme.

we limited the number of friends, well, because 9 year old boys are crazy. he invited 5 friends and 3 came. we had lots of snacks thanks to the parade earlier in the day.

harry had decided the games. he wanted to do a game like pictionary only using legos. he also had drawn a big mini fig and we played "pin the helmet on the lego guy". we then guessed the amount of lego's in a jar. we then played a nice round of "pick up lego's with chop sticks". at last we let the boys free build. they had a blast and made a lot of fun things. even big d was in on the action.

after the party was over, we rushed harry to his friends birthday party at the bowling alley. when he got home, we went to our ward swim party. after that we went to the fireworks. it was a crazy busy day.

chilli and fussy at the parade before

some things in star trek must be easier

2009-06-29T07:57:00.004-07:00

my nieces are cool. really really cool. this is them, here and here.

anyway, we came home from church yesterday to this. it totally shows how cool they are. and how much of a geek we are.

but i digress.

we have mice. it's totally gross and we are working hard to get rid of the dumb rodents. i wanted to just get a cat, but big d got some traps. which, lets face it, is really super gross. but as i am allergic to cats, the traps really are the better way to go.

yesterday, being creeped out thinking about the traps that could go off at any minute, and seeing the coolest banner on my front porch, led me to the daydream of the 23rd century. if only i lived then, i'm sure mouse extermination would be much easier.

wouldn't it be nice to have a computer readout of all the life forms in your house? it might be freaky to see how many mice and spiders and other things that crawl live in the basement, but still, i think it would be convenient. sure, we've caught 2 mice, but how many more are calling my garage home? wouldn't it be nice to know.

then we thought of star trekian ways to kill the mice and big d and i agreed, that a barian sweep would be the best idea. it kills everything. like a nice sanitized house. that would be great. of course we couldn't remember if it vaporized the bodies or not. if it did, man, that would be sweet. i think dead mice in the garage would smell bad.

too bad it isn't the 23rd century. all my problems would be solved.

the wasatch back.

2009-06-23T10:15:00.022-07:00

running is a lot like childbirth. about half way through, you think to yourself "what the hell was i thinking". and it hurts. a lot. well at least for me. you chafe, you blister, your either too hot, or too cold. you shorts don't fit right, and you know that there is something that can make it go quicker, you just haven't found it yet.

ragnar wasatch back start line

unfortunately, there is no magic pill. there is nothing that can make it go faster besides your two legs, (and maybe that energy drink they were giving away that totally gave me the shakes). but there is nothing like crossing that finish line.

we started off the weekend with a dinner at the olive garden, the m.o.f.i.a. momma's team 1 and 2

team 1: cara (driver) melodee, shelah, amy, stacy, lyn, julie

marie, christy, linsey, katy, megan, me, arlynda

a couple of pictures at the hotel, and an early bedtime. it was early in my book. and probably the part i was looking forward to the most. not only is my friend megan, like, THE coolest person ever, she also let me sleep at her house. i have been looking forward to sleeping by myself for a year. no fussy, no big d. just me. it was glorious. or it would have been if i could have slept about 4 hours longer. we were up at 5, caught our ride into logan, and to the start line we went. we checked in our team, and waited for our turn to cross the line.

the m.c. at the start line. here we are at 4 minutes to go time

and i mean "our turn" because it really is a whole team event. it's the team mates who are making sure the runner has water. the van leapfrogs the runner and we all sort of jump out and supply the runner with anything they need. it's kinda fun.

lyn was awesome. she ran the first leg, and was done being nervous way before it set in for me. by the time i realized i was next, i sort of panicked. not because i didn't think i could do it, just that i had such a hard time last year, and i was sure i was gonna be puking by 10 pm.

lyn handed off to arlynda (who's first leg was hellishly long)

arlynda meeting up with her kiddies

arlynda running through nibley/hyrum

and arlynda handed off to me.

we were in hyrum. it was sort of weird. i knew where i was, just not really. i remembered buildings and places and living there when i was 9, but i have never ever run in hyrum. i've really not been back.

the good part about running through farmers fields is that you can see. and it's beautiful and the mountains were right there. the bad thing is, you can see. and it seems like a mile is about 10 miles, and it just goes on forever. about this point, my new ipod shuffle decided to die. and not the battery part. like the whole "turn on and work" part. so i was bummed. about mile 3 i was feeling my groove, but not really happy groove. it wasn't too hot, but it was boring. and i forgot how lame it is to get passed by. i did do my own share of passing other people, but most of them were neighbors watching. or small children. or roadkill. so not my fastest of runs, but still.

me, looking grumpy. "my ipod quit!"

about the one mile to go mark, there were these kids with water. it was so nice, and all these runners ahead of me were ignoring them. so i HAD to stop and get some water from them. and say hi. and talk about the weather. there was this guy in front of me who kept complaining about the altitude. and i totally passed him. it was great. i loved it when other runners were dying.

i round the corner, see the chute and i am so happy to pass off the bracelet to marie. who is also pretty darn cool. she is some kinda of crazy running animal. and then i wiped the sweat of, and sat in the van. i was curious about my friend megan doing the leg i did last year. i knew she could do it. but with all the rain, i was praying that it wouldn't be muddy. and it wasn't. it was awesome. she went up the avon pass and did an amazing job. if only i had been that great last year. i'm not jealous or anything. she just rocks.

avon pass

megan handed off to shelah, who took off and we lost her. see, she runs faster than cars. much faster than our van stuck in traffic descending avon pass. she was so amazing, but we knew that.

shelah passed off to van 2 (julie, christy, deanna, stacy, melodee, amy), we decided to get some food, rest our legs and try to sleep a little. lucky for everyone i grabbed a couple of energy drinks. and i downed one. not because of anything except i had a huge headache and i knew a little caffeine would do me good. i didn't read how much caffeine was in the drink, and while we were resting, i was thinking about 10, 0000 miles a minute, and my heart was racing, and i just started giggling. i think they all hated me. but it could have been the toilets up on snowbasin. that didn't work. and there were no honey buckets. yeah, that is probably what my team mates were upset about. it couldn't have been me.

after an all too short rest, we piled back into the van. we said goodbye to lyn and told her we'd catch her at the bottom of trappers loop. which we totally would have. she did amazing, and didn't even need us to catch her.

again, lyn handed off to arlynda, who gave the bracelet back to me. my second run of the day. through some back road town in the middle of nowhere. actually, i just don't remember where. this was my almost 5 miler. it was nice. it was cooling off. there were some kids out handing otter pops, which i took, you know, because they were so cute. i didn't want to eat it. and i didn't want to throw it, so i just held on to it. my back up ipod was working, so that was so much better than my first run. there was this youngish guy in front of me, and i kept up with him. i'd get close to pass him, and then he'd speed up. then i'd catch up and get close to passing him again. i was pretty steady the whole race. i overtook him about 2 miles to go. at about half a mile, i saw big d. he was taking pictures of me, while my kids ran around in little circles on some one's lawn. that was fun to. i gave them a big kiss and went to cross the finish line. i felt great. i heard fussy start to scream. it gave me the motivation to run really fast.

i handed off to the animal marie, who took us to morgan (if i remeber right) and poor megan took over in the dark of night. megan has cool family though, and we were able to see them and her brother even ran her leg with her. which, i thought was really neat. while megan and shelah were running, we went to arlynda's auntie's house. and crashed. we showered, ate, and crashed. sorta.

when shelah and megan were done, they joined us. they ate and we set out bags on the floor. i was still so excited and i still had so much energy. i was dead tired, but i couldn't sleep. i got the itchies and i was either too hot or too cold. or the floor was too hard. i think i finally dozed off about 20 minutes before shelah was up getting ready to go. so i got up and started packing our stuff up to get going.

we were out the door at 4-something. we drove to our exchange somewhere out there beyond morgan. there was a lot of traffic, and it was really cool to watch the sun come up and see all the runners. there were moments of sprinkling rain. it was cold.

at this point, we are tired. we were eating bread and peanut butter. we were disgusted by the shape of the honey buckets, which were getting sucked out while we were waiting in line. amy came in and lyn was off again. then to arlynda, and then to me.

lyn, waiting to run the last

lyn, her last leg

waiting for lyn to come in

this was the leg i was most worried about. it was 8 miles, and it had a major hill at the end. at least that is what it looked like. it wasn't so much a hill as a freaking mountain though. but i decided i would just give it my all. i held back at the beginning, i didn't want to fatigue myself. but after going on those hills, i tried to just enjoy it.

trying to enjoy it

and the funny thing was, i really did. i was running, it was raining, the wind was blowing. it was hard. the uphill was hard. it was a windy uphill mountain thing. it was amazing. this is the part i came back for. this was the feeling i wanted. i felt wonderful. i was tired, and at one point, i went around a bend and saw the road, and it was uphill, and i started to cry. then i told myself it would be stupid to cry, it would waste too much energy. and besides, i was a bad ass runner, and this was no big deal. i really felt like i could do anything. i watched the clouds roll over me. i felt the hail. it was absolutely beautiful. i had an awesome downhill stretch to the transition, and i just booked it. i let myself go as fast as my legs would go. i knew my quads would be sore. i just went for it. i handed off to marie and i felt like i could fly.

me, shelah, arlynda. i'm totally done!

marie, getting ready to rock that downhill

marie, megan, shelah. they all went for it in turn. they each gave the last they had. when we handed off to the other van, we felt amazing. we were tired and hungry and getting sore. we had blisters and chaffing and we were so stinky. but we felt amazing. and not just because we had just run, but because we had done a hard thing. and we had been there for each other. we had been sitting in a van, cheering our runners on. we were all working toward a goal, and we did it. there is not a feeling like that in the world. except for maybe having a baby. but at least when you run the wasatch back, you don't' have to change any diapers. hopefully.

we went to a cabin in midway. we rested. we chatted. i had a minor breakdown when i couldn't find big d. thinking he had fallen off the mountain, i was pretty worried. but eventually i found him, and yelled, and i felt so much better.

we waited at the finish line for our team to come in. the last runner has no support. she runs on the trail. we were worried when she wasn't there when we thought she would be. it was starting to rain. it was cold. the wind was terrible. we were huddled together watching and waiting. and worrying. we climbed up a hill and waited. the rain was starting to get worse. we were shivering. and we were praying it would be over soon. we kept our eyes on the trail waiting. at last we saw her yellow jacket and amy came into view. we couldn't help ourselves but started screaming and cheering her one. it was a feeling of pure joy. she was up to us and we ran with her. she went to the shute and then she took off like a crazy runner lady and i was trying to keep up. granted, i had a blanket on me, i couldn't 't see straight. the rain had picked up and we were drenched. we crossed the line. we got our medals. we posed for what i am sure will be mistaken for some kind of drowning race picture. and then it started sleeting. i am grateful for the happy weather gods that granted us only rain while we were running. this however was another matter all together. after quick hugs and goodbyes, we scattered. the sleet was coming down hard.

i was running with untied shoes, a blanket over me, my 50 pound backpack, a sleeping bag, and harry's and chilli's umbrellas. this i think was the hardest part of the race. when we finally boarded the shuttle, my legs were shaking and my head was spinning. of course i was too tired to think. i had slept about 2 hours. i had an emotional breakdown earlier. i was thankful to see my family, so have my fussy clinging to me. and yet, i was bummed that another race was over. and not just any race. the wasatch back isn't about making great time. i mean, it can be, i think, if you want. it wasn't about showing each other up. it's about doing something that is hard, with people who want you to succeed. and i think that is what makes it so amazing. it's cheering each other one. its about caring for your teammates. it's about owning their speed, or their hills, as much as your own. it's about becoming more than the sum of your speeds. or distance. or hills.

and that is why we do it.

another milestone

2009-06-11T09:46:00.001-07:00

check out big d's blog

14 years ago i fell in love

2009-06-05T09:49:00.003-07:00

it was my first trip to new york

i fell in love with the city

little did i know, that i would move there 4 years later

little did i know, i would miss it when we moved back

i just received some books i ordered from the met. i miss the museums. i miss seeing street art, and performing street acts. or subway acts.

i just watched a movie based in new york. it reminded me of central park. of the carousel, of the old bridges. yankee stadium and the ticker tape parades.

i have a friend who is leaving for the city. i remember what it is like to walk down 5th avenue. to see penn station and all the life and energy. i am reminded of the diversity. of the many cultures and smells and exotic looking food. all the different types of stores. and all the street vendors at canal street.

it's funny. i love where i live. i love raising my kids here. but i miss new york. and not just new york, i miss being a part of something old. at least, as old as it can get in this country. i loved the history. i loved being a part of something that the whole world knew. i loved walking by famous buildings or statue. i loved the farmers markets. i loved the subway. i loved the neighborhood markets and endless dollar stores. the many library branches. the historic bridges.

i wish i had the money to take my kids and explore the city again. i'd be there in a heartbeat.

chilli

2009-06-03T14:49:00.005-07:00

it's been awhile since i blogged anything besides dumb random things. and that is okay by me. sorry, if it isn't okay for you. i've said before that i have been busy, which i have. i've also been suffering from not knowing what to write. i've been blogging for 3+ years. i've been there and done that so to speak.

like the second born. it was his birthday this past weekend. i always feel the poor kid gets left behind, or forgotten. his birthday is the end of may, and he shares it with a couple of cousins. as such, we have a combined thing, and while it is fun, i hope that he never feels like he's the middle child. he's not old enough to do the fun stuff his big brother does, and he's shoved aside from being the sweet baby. mostly because fussy is so demanding. chilli gets the raw end of the deal sometimes.

even with all that, he is incredible. he's learned to read this year at school. he is especially great with coins and math. which is also a bit scary. he loves his teacher and he loves school. i know he is a handfull, his primary teacher tells me all the time about that "he can't sit in his seat!".

besides having endless energy, he is creative. he finds silly games to play. just today he was playing with fussy and they were chickens. chilli loves to dress up. he frequently hums or sings his own theme music. out of the blue he was singing the night in the museum soundtrack. we hadn't watched that movie for months and he started singing it.

chilli is also very social. he has to play with friends. being somewhat of a hermit, it's hard for me to understand. but i see how much better he is, if he has had a chance to socialize. the worst thing you could do to him, is not be his friend.

although he is incredibly chauvenistic, claiming that boys are much better than girls, he is also known to play barbies with the neighbor girl. of course he won't tell me that, but i know. and it makes me giggle.

he loves animals. we went to the zoo the other day, and he told me that he knows what he wants to be when he grows up, a zookeeper.

2009-06-02T12:28:00.000-07:00

random pictures

2009-05-28T12:06:00.003-07:00

fussy watering the sidewalk. he's quite the little green thumb...
harry's new sand castle. the top is with that new play sand from crayola. the colored stuff. it's pretty cool. he took this picture himself. i think i need to teach him how to zoom.

fussy asleep on the rug. that is sallah from indiana jones in his mouth....

harry on memorial day

2009-05-27T09:36:00.003-07:00

i am in the kitchen with my aunt elaine, who's house we were at, when i witnessed this conversation.

harry: aunt elaine...um??? i have a question....

AE: yes

h: um, well us kids...well, we were sort of wondering. i mean, we are all outside playing, and um...well, we want some place to sit. and ya know...um...we kind of want like....a clubhouse....or something....

AE: okay, what do you want?

H: um...welll........ do you have any......wood?

AE (and the rest of us) : WOOD?

*sigh* kids are so funny.