the wasatch back.

running is a lot like childbirth. about half way through, you think to yourself "what the hell was i thinking". and it hurts. a lot. well at least for me. you chafe, you blister, your either too hot, or too cold. you shorts don't fit right, and you know that there is something that can make it go quicker, you just haven't found it yet.

ragnar wasatch back start line

unfortunately, there is no magic pill. there is nothing that can make it go faster besides your two legs, (and maybe that energy drink they were giving away that totally gave me the shakes). but there is nothing like crossing that finish line.

we started off the weekend with a dinner at the olive garden, the m.o.f.i.a. momma's team 1 and 2

team 1: cara (driver) melodee, shelah, amy, stacy, lyn, julie

marie, christy, linsey, katy, megan, me, arlynda

a couple of pictures at the hotel, and an early bedtime. it was early in my book. and probably the part i was looking forward to the most. not only is my friend megan, like, THE coolest person ever, she also let me sleep at her house. i have been looking forward to sleeping by myself for a year. no fussy, no big d. just me. it was glorious. or it would have been if i could have slept about 4 hours longer. we were up at 5, caught our ride into logan, and to the start line we went. we checked in our team, and waited for our turn to cross the line.

the m.c. at the start line. here we are at 4 minutes to go time

and i mean "our turn" because it really is a whole team event. it's the team mates who are making sure the runner has water. the van leapfrogs the runner and we all sort of jump out and supply the runner with anything they need. it's kinda fun.

lyn was awesome. she ran the first leg, and was done being nervous way before it set in for me. by the time i realized i was next, i sort of panicked. not because i didn't think i could do it, just that i had such a hard time last year, and i was sure i was gonna be puking by 10 pm.

lyn handed off to arlynda (who's first leg was hellishly long)

arlynda meeting up with her kiddies

arlynda running through nibley/hyrum

and arlynda handed off to me.



we were in hyrum. it was sort of weird. i knew where i was, just not really. i remembered buildings and places and living there when i was 9, but i have never ever run in hyrum. i've really not been back.



the good part about running through farmers fields is that you can see. and it's beautiful and the mountains were right there. the bad thing is, you can see. and it seems like a mile is about 10 miles, and it just goes on forever. about this point, my new ipod shuffle decided to die. and not the battery part. like the whole "turn on and work" part. so i was bummed. about mile 3 i was feeling my groove, but not really happy groove. it wasn't too hot, but it was boring. and i forgot how lame it is to get passed by. i did do my own share of passing other people, but most of them were neighbors watching. or small children. or roadkill. so not my fastest of runs, but still.

me, looking grumpy. "my ipod quit!"

about the one mile to go mark, there were these kids with water. it was so nice, and all these runners ahead of me were ignoring them. so i HAD to stop and get some water from them. and say hi. and talk about the weather. there was this guy in front of me who kept complaining about the altitude. and i totally passed him. it was great. i loved it when other runners were dying.


i round the corner, see the chute and i am so happy to pass off the bracelet to marie. who is also pretty darn cool. she is some kinda of crazy running animal. and then i wiped the sweat of, and sat in the van. i was curious about my friend megan doing the leg i did last year. i knew she could do it. but with all the rain, i was praying that it wouldn't be muddy. and it wasn't. it was awesome. she went up the avon pass and did an amazing job. if only i had been that great last year. i'm not jealous or anything. she just rocks.

avon pass

megan handed off to shelah, who took off and we lost her. see, she runs faster than cars. much faster than our van stuck in traffic descending avon pass. she was so amazing, but we knew that.

shelah passed off to van 2 (julie, christy, deanna, stacy, melodee, amy), we decided to get some food, rest our legs and try to sleep a little. lucky for everyone i grabbed a couple of energy drinks. and i downed one. not because of anything except i had a huge headache and i knew a little caffeine would do me good. i didn't read how much caffeine was in the drink, and while we were resting, i was thinking about 10, 0000 miles a minute, and my heart was racing, and i just started giggling. i think they all hated me. but it could have been the toilets up on snowbasin. that didn't work. and there were no honey buckets. yeah, that is probably what my team mates were upset about. it couldn't have been me.


after an all too short rest, we piled back into the van. we said goodbye to lyn and told her we'd catch her at the bottom of trappers loop. which we totally would have. she did amazing, and didn't even need us to catch her.






again, lyn handed off to arlynda, who gave the bracelet back to me. my second run of the day. through some back road town in the middle of nowhere. actually, i just don't remember where. this was my almost 5 miler. it was nice. it was cooling off. there were some kids out handing otter pops, which i took, you know, because they were so cute. i didn't want to eat it. and i didn't want to throw it, so i just held on to it. my back up ipod was working, so that was so much better than my first run. there was this youngish guy in front of me, and i kept up with him. i'd get close to pass him, and then he'd speed up. then i'd catch up and get close to passing him again. i was pretty steady the whole race. i overtook him about 2 miles to go. at about half a mile, i saw big d. he was taking pictures of me, while my kids ran around in little circles on some one's lawn. that was fun to. i gave them a big kiss and went to cross the finish line. i felt great. i heard fussy start to scream. it gave me the motivation to run really fast.


i handed off to the animal marie, who took us to morgan (if i remeber right) and poor megan took over in the dark of night. megan has cool family though, and we were able to see them and her brother even ran her leg with her. which, i thought was really neat. while megan and shelah were running, we went to arlynda's auntie's house. and crashed. we showered, ate, and crashed. sorta.


when shelah and megan were done, they joined us. they ate and we set out bags on the floor. i was still so excited and i still had so much energy. i was dead tired, but i couldn't sleep. i got the itchies and i was either too hot or too cold. or the floor was too hard. i think i finally dozed off about 20 minutes before shelah was up getting ready to go. so i got up and started packing our stuff up to get going.


we were out the door at 4-something. we drove to our exchange somewhere out there beyond morgan. there was a lot of traffic, and it was really cool to watch the sun come up and see all the runners. there were moments of sprinkling rain. it was cold.


at this point, we are tired. we were eating bread and peanut butter. we were disgusted by the shape of the honey buckets, which were getting sucked out while we were waiting in line. amy came in and lyn was off again. then to arlynda, and then to me.

lyn, waiting to run the last

lyn, her last leg

waiting for lyn to come in

this was the leg i was most worried about. it was 8 miles, and it had a major hill at the end. at least that is what it looked like. it wasn't so much a hill as a freaking mountain though. but i decided i would just give it my all. i held back at the beginning, i didn't want to fatigue myself. but after going on those hills, i tried to just enjoy it.

trying to enjoy it

and the funny thing was, i really did. i was running, it was raining, the wind was blowing. it was hard. the uphill was hard. it was a windy uphill mountain thing. it was amazing. this is the part i came back for. this was the feeling i wanted. i felt wonderful. i was tired, and at one point, i went around a bend and saw the road, and it was uphill, and i started to cry. then i told myself it would be stupid to cry, it would waste too much energy. and besides, i was a bad ass runner, and this was no big deal. i really felt like i could do anything. i watched the clouds roll over me. i felt the hail. it was absolutely beautiful. i had an awesome downhill stretch to the transition, and i just booked it. i let myself go as fast as my legs would go. i knew my quads would be sore. i just went for it. i handed off to marie and i felt like i could fly.

me, shelah, arlynda. i'm totally done!

marie, getting ready to rock that downhill



marie, megan, shelah. they all went for it in turn. they each gave the last they had. when we handed off to the other van, we felt amazing. we were tired and hungry and getting sore. we had blisters and chaffing and we were so stinky. but we felt amazing. and not just because we had just run, but because we had done a hard thing. and we had been there for each other. we had been sitting in a van, cheering our runners on. we were all working toward a goal, and we did it. there is not a feeling like that in the world. except for maybe having a baby. but at least when you run the wasatch back, you don't' have to change any diapers. hopefully.


we went to a cabin in midway. we rested. we chatted. i had a minor breakdown when i couldn't find big d. thinking he had fallen off the mountain, i was pretty worried. but eventually i found him, and yelled, and i felt so much better.

we waited at the finish line for our team to come in. the last runner has no support. she runs on the trail. we were worried when she wasn't there when we thought she would be. it was starting to rain. it was cold. the wind was terrible. we were huddled together watching and waiting. and worrying. we climbed up a hill and waited. the rain was starting to get worse. we were shivering. and we were praying it would be over soon. we kept our eyes on the trail waiting. at last we saw her yellow jacket and amy came into view. we couldn't help ourselves but started screaming and cheering her one. it was a feeling of pure joy. she was up to us and we ran with her. she went to the shute and then she took off like a crazy runner lady and i was trying to keep up. granted, i had a blanket on me, i couldn't 't see straight. the rain had picked up and we were drenched. we crossed the line. we got our medals. we posed for what i am sure will be mistaken for some kind of drowning race picture. and then it started sleeting. i am grateful for the happy weather gods that granted us only rain while we were running. this however was another matter all together. after quick hugs and goodbyes, we scattered. the sleet was coming down hard.

i was running with untied shoes, a blanket over me, my 50 pound backpack, a sleeping bag, and harry's and chilli's umbrellas. this i think was the hardest part of the race. when we finally boarded the shuttle, my legs were shaking and my head was spinning. of course i was too tired to think. i had slept about 2 hours. i had an emotional breakdown earlier. i was thankful to see my family, so have my fussy clinging to me. and yet, i was bummed that another race was over. and not just any race. the wasatch back isn't about making great time. i mean, it can be, i think, if you want. it wasn't about showing each other up. it's about doing something that is hard, with people who want you to succeed. and i think that is what makes it so amazing. it's cheering each other one. its about caring for your teammates. it's about owning their speed, or their hills, as much as your own. it's about becoming more than the sum of your speeds. or distance. or hills.


and that is why we do it.

another milestone

check out big d's blog

14 years ago i fell in love

it was my first trip to new york

i fell in love with the city

little did i know, that i would move there 4 years later

little did i know, i would miss it when we moved back


i just received some books i ordered from the met. i miss the museums. i miss seeing street art, and performing street acts. or subway acts.

i just watched a movie based in new york. it reminded me of central park. of the carousel, of the old bridges. yankee stadium and the ticker tape parades.

i have a friend who is leaving for the city. i remember what it is like to walk down 5th avenue. to see penn station and all the life and energy. i am reminded of the diversity. of the many cultures and smells and exotic looking food. all the different types of stores. and all the street vendors at canal street.

it's funny. i love where i live. i love raising my kids here. but i miss new york. and not just new york, i miss being a part of something old. at least, as old as it can get in this country. i loved the history. i loved being a part of something that the whole world knew. i loved walking by famous buildings or statue. i loved the farmers markets. i loved the subway. i loved the neighborhood markets and endless dollar stores. the many library branches. the historic bridges.

i wish i had the money to take my kids and explore the city again. i'd be there in a heartbeat.

chilli

it's been awhile since i blogged anything besides dumb random things. and that is okay by me. sorry, if it isn't okay for you. i've said before that i have been busy, which i have. i've also been suffering from not knowing what to write. i've been blogging for 3+ years. i've been there and done that so to speak.

like the second born. it was his birthday this past weekend. i always feel the poor kid gets left behind, or forgotten. his birthday is the end of may, and he shares it with a couple of cousins. as such, we have a combined thing, and while it is fun, i hope that he never feels like he's the middle child. he's not old enough to do the fun stuff his big brother does, and he's shoved aside from being the sweet baby. mostly because fussy is so demanding. chilli gets the raw end of the deal sometimes.

even with all that, he is incredible. he's learned to read this year at school. he is especially great with coins and math. which is also a bit scary. he loves his teacher and he loves school. i know he is a handfull, his primary teacher tells me all the time about that "he can't sit in his seat!".

besides having endless energy, he is creative. he finds silly games to play. just today he was playing with fussy and they were chickens. chilli loves to dress up. he frequently hums or sings his own theme music. out of the blue he was singing the night in the museum soundtrack. we hadn't watched that movie for months and he started singing it.

chilli is also very social. he has to play with friends. being somewhat of a hermit, it's hard for me to understand. but i see how much better he is, if he has had a chance to socialize. the worst thing you could do to him, is not be his friend.

although he is incredibly chauvenistic, claiming that boys are much better than girls, he is also known to play barbies with the neighbor girl. of course he won't tell me that, but i know. and it makes me giggle.

he loves animals. we went to the zoo the other day, and he told me that he knows what he wants to be when he grows up, a zookeeper.

random pictures

fussy watering the sidewalk. he's quite the little green thumb...
harry's new sand castle. the top is with that new play sand from crayola. the colored stuff. it's pretty cool. he took this picture himself. i think i need to teach him how to zoom.

fussy asleep on the rug. that is sallah from indiana jones in his mouth....

harry on memorial day

i am in the kitchen with my aunt elaine, who's house we were at, when i witnessed this conversation.

harry: aunt elaine...um??? i have a question....

AE: yes

h: um, well us kids...well, we were sort of wondering. i mean, we are all outside playing, and um...well, we want some place to sit. and ya know...um...we kind of want like....a clubhouse....or something....

AE: okay, what do you want?

H: um...welll........ do you have any......wood?

AE (and the rest of us) : WOOD?

*sigh* kids are so funny.

big d was awesome this last christmas. he got me this big mixer. mostly because i've been begging for one for years. i promised i would make home made bread again. i had sort of fallen off the wagon a couple of years ago, due to the fact i didn't have a mixer, so if he got me one, i'd totally be game.

so after christmas, weekly bread making ensued. and it was good. and it felt nice. like a good nice thing that you do when you are a stay at home mom (whatever that means) and you have all this time on your hands, right?

then i realized something. nobody eats bread anymore. well, they do, when it's hot out of the oven, it's a crazy dash. and i won't say that i don't push my kids over to get the warm crusty yummy bread. cuz i do. but that was it. nobody ate sandwiches, or toast. mostly, i would end up throwing moldy un-eaten loaves away.

it's a sad state when you throw away something that you put a lot of love into. and flour, and sugar and yeast, and all that. my kids just aren't bread eaters anymore. nobody really wants a pb&j sammy. or if they do, they want it on a left over bun.

it's sad in a way. and good, because honestly, i really don't have the time every week to make bread. i'm drowning in laundry, and dished and messy house. but i love the feeling of creating something yummy and warm and good for my kids. i love pulling out a fresh loaf and watching the craziness ensue.

so i guess that is the question, what to do? make my life a little easier, or keep up the bread making? probably, i'm gonna just keep on making the bread.

random thoughts

1. it's tradition for harry to do the whole "live long and prosper" thing to me as he exits the van, on his way into school. no, it's not a joke, and yes, he's been doing it for a really long time. and i do it back. mostly with a sigh, because i'm so cool. today i realized that my son, although he may be a geek, doesn't give a care to what anyone else thinks about him. and i think that is cool.

2. orange ice cream. home made orange ice cream on memorial day. i'm so looking forward to it. just because my mom makes it with love (and probably a little bit of frustration).

3. wishing i had as much energy on friday, as i do on monday. being all rested up for the weekend, instead of rested up because of the weekend.

4. we still have about 6 more weeks of school left. so even though everyone else is ready for summer break, we still have plenty of learning left. why on earth do i live here? i say that a couple of times a week.

5. guitar hero world tour is awesome for any budding rock star. including chilli. he rocks as drums. mostly because you can stick it on beginner. waiting for him to grow up is hard work.

6. i wonder if fussy is spoiled, or if he is just mean, rotten, demanding, unreasonable, and spirited. or is being 2 a good excuse for beating up his big brothers.

7. it's really gross how chickens eat their own eggs. kinda like the placenta in my freezer. i was gonna plant it under a tree. but it's still sitting there. if the power goes out for an extended amount of time, that is gonna be really gross. maybe i should get rid of it? probably.

8. i hate yard work. like really hate it. it's like running, but not going anywhere. okay, mostly mowing the lawn is like that. but i don't like it. and weeds. why do weeds grow so fast, but other things don't?

9. my parents are the coolest people ever. and not just because they give away good furniture, but because they buy a lot of furniture and give away a lot. and occasionally, i get some of it. and that is just awesome. like my new front room. even though the sofa is a bit big, it's still cool.

10. i spend way too much money at the health food store buying junk food. like candy and trail mix and stuff like that. it's so contradictory. but we love our healthy junk i guess. and the kid shopping carts. it's like a favorite destination shopping. like sam's club on sampleday.

say hi to my newest friend

meet mr. lime green pool noodle.

and amazingly, my leg is feeling so much better. i feel a little silly rolling around on the floor with a pool noodle, but it works. and the best part? instead of getting a foam roller for $20 at a specialty store. i found mine at walmart for $3.

(i'm gonna go ahead and edit this post, because i'm sure a few of you are wondering what i'm doing on the floor with this thing. and i agree, it sounds just a little dirty. however i'm just gonna say, it's a runner thing. )

curse you h1n1 !

a couple of weeks ago, i received a letter in the mail, from the school district. you know the story, about the whole flu thing. then i got an email. and then i got one of those recorded phone calls.

it was pretty obvious what they wanted, or in fact, didn't want to come to school. sick kids. or kids with any kind of sick. or the appearance of sick. or have recently been sick. or who might could almost be sick. or who have traveled anywhere including, but not limited to, the local wal-mart.

all that was fine, because we were off track. now we are on track, so guess what?

taco woke up today coughing. normally (and i'm totally admitting my bad parenting) i would have drugged him up, or sent a note saying it was allergies. it still might be. but he has a sore throat, and he sounds funny, like he's lost half his voice. so i kept him home.

have i mentioned that crazy race i'm training for?
have i mentioned how beautiful it is right now, this morning, when i would be running 8 miles?
have i mentioned how big d just thought i should leave my almost six year old home alone?
have i mentioned it is supposed to get cold and windy about the time big d will get home from work?
have i mentioned, when big d gets home from work is when i'm gonna have to get my run in.
have i mentioned it is 8 miles.


i mean, i love my kids. i don't really believe in the whole swine flu crap. yet here i am with a moderately moist kindergartner, who is not in kindergarten, but who is now running wild through the house coughing and playing and thinking he is pretty darn cool for not going to school today.

curse you h1n1.

happy mother's day

for mother's day, my dearest son harry gave me a card/booklet that he made at school. it had some questions about me, and harry answered them. some examples...

why is your mom special : she is my mom and she has a talent for cooking and cleaning.

i like it when my mom: helps me with homework, and when she cooks me dinner and lunch.

my mom can do many things! i think she is best at: making me happy.

my mom has a pretty smile! i like to make her smile by: giving her gifts like this card.

my mom is as pretty as: a precious diamond.

my mom is smart, she even knows: how the earth turns


i'd like to tell me mom: how well she cooks

ways we are alike:
we both worry, we like pizza

ways we are different:
she likes to run, i don't. she is mostly funny, i am more serious some times.

then there was this story...
me and my mom watched a roadshow that my mom and dad put together. it was very funny. a lot of people thought it was very funny. the judges gave my momma third place music and dance award, and out of 7 roadshows, she got 3rd place most entertaining show. so she did a great job.

and then there was the stuff he promised to do today...

do the dishwasher
get ready when you tell me
drink all the milk out of my cereal
not yell
and as hard as i can, not tease my brother.

and then there was the creative writing page
M-marvelous
O-oh wow
T-terrific
H-home helper
E-xcellent
R-ules


and last but not least there was a certificate of being the greatest mom

here's why: she cooks excellent meals, she helps me with homework, plans cool stuff for the hollidays, and best of all she loves me.


awe, that melts the heart, doesn't it?

leave a message, after the beep

we are out, we have been for a while. and since we have been away, our house has fallen prey to mischevious little elves who have dirtied it from high to low. and eaten all the food. and we are tired from wrangling kids for the roadshow. so i'm not gonna be around. because i'm tired. and i need to clean up the mess, maybe mow the lawn, and maybe take a nap. yes, it's been a really,really long week.

but i won't leave you without this little gem. harry took this today and i love it. because it looks cool.


but you can leave a message and i'll be back posting...soon...?