what's happened to me?!

it's not like i'm sleeping any longer at night. or that i really have any more energy during the day. maybe i'm not running like crazy training for anything? maybe it's just because while missing two kids at school, there is a lot more stuff i can get done during the day.

i totally made salsa. i totally grated about 50 pounds of zucchini. then i made zucchini bread x8. i've deep cleaned the pantry, the fridge, and i'm working on the other cupboards.

what is wrong with me? besides being sorta homemakery, i'm turning into my mom. (which, i hope she takes that as a compliment, cuz you know, she rocks).

over the past couple of years, i really have never thought i would be able to keep up on housework. i thought i would always be lacking in that department. i mean really, 3 boys. 3 destructive boys! it's been hard to keep up on the laundry much less do anything else. but there is some sort of freedom with only having to worry about what #3 is doing. there is freedom in not having to go to the school 3 times a day.

and even better, is when i can get fussy down for a nap at 1, and the kids walk home and aren't home until 4. fussy can sleep for however long he wants and nobody will wake him up. making it much easier for me to get stuff done.

so now i get it. now i understand why women all go out to the park days, or out to lunch, or go shopping. i get how you can keep the house clean(er) and still have time for you.

i can't imagine what it's going to be like in 4 years when fussy goes to first grade!



*****************edited to add*************************

never feel too good about what you are doing. while i was writing this post on how nice it was only having to worry about one child, this same child, took an entire NEW jar of fish food and fed the fish. granted most of them were dead anyway, but it made me realize that you can never be too vigilant when you have a 2.5 year old.

july...in pictures.

the last day of school. better known as the last day under the reign of the terrible witch. see the happiness in his eyes???

on the other hand, this poor kid is going to miss his "favorite teacher in the whole world". and that is saying something since it was his kindy teacher.

i'm gonna miss her too, because honestly, she is awesome.

big d's birthday. i think he is 48 or something. i made him an awesome star trek cake. with fondant. because i am THAT cool.

here we have a series of photos taken up at "the condo". probably my favorite place in the world.

fuss driving a crane, a natural born crane driver

harry, taking a hike up the crane. i wasn't there for this one, but it does give me squirmy insides.

the pool. i mean THE POOL. the place where my boys want to be 99% of the time.

fuss, actually enjoying the water

harry is a crazy pool boy. i'm glad he is holding his nose though.

me, sackin' out with my middle, ignored child.

the wild flowers were awesome. so we picked all of them to make sure that nobody else would.

one of the hikes where fussy couldn't fuss anymore. he crashed hard. and by crash, i mean sleep. he is not dead in this picture, although he looks that way.

a more artistic shot of the deadness of the fussmeister

a self photo from my crazy 9 year old. he is so much like me, it's scary.

chilli and me on the trail. you wouldn't believe how much that kid talks.

again, at the crane. fussy still dead.

me, peeing my pants trying to be fun.

this time i witness with my own eyes. i see only broken bones and fractured heads. good thing neither happened.

the angry look? probably from me saying "please get down before you fall!"

i'm still concerned, although i look so carefree and awesome.

brothers

chilly was carrying fussy upstairs. they were playing some sort of game where fussy was being a doggy. chilly calls down to me and says that fussy is stinky and needs a diaper change. i yell up at him to change his diaper. chilly has never changed a diaper before. i am helping harry with some computer stuff. the next thing i know, fussy is coming down the stairs with a new diaper, and chilly is walking around as proud as can be. he actually changed his brother's poopy diaper.


of course, he left poopy wet wipes all over the bed. i thought that was pretty good for a first time diaper change.

the first day of school

the air is crisp, the leaves are changing and it's back to school time....wait...not really. i mean, yes really, the kids went back to school yesterday. and it only topped out at over 100 degrees. but you do what you gotta do.

chilli was excited for lunch, 3 recesses, and almost everything about being a "big kid". he was so happy to find out that his class room was harry's 2nd grade classroom. he was super excited to use his new star trek lunchbox. he was probably the most enthusiastic when he realized the girl he had a crush on last school year, is in his class this school year.

harry was excited when he found out his classroom was actually a portable. he was happy when i walked into his room to meet his teacher and noticed that i knew her from high school. he had a super big grin when i picked him up from school. later he told me that he KNOWS this year is going to be good. he knows that his teacher is 1000 times better than his teacher last year.

i am thrilled. i am happy that my boys are happy. i am only sad when i think that my summer is already over. no more late nights, no more staring at the stars, or going to movies, or being incredibly lazy. it's back to business for us. well, at least for a few weeks, until we go off track.

you know the movie is good, when the conversation is thin in the car on the way home. you know it's a good movie when the 6 year old has tears on his face. when the 9 year old holds your hand and you both squeeze so hard that you both lose feelings in your fingers. when you have to pee so bad, but you don't want to get out of your seat. when you think about parts of the movie, you giggle. when you can't wait to see it again.

and we didn't take pictures, but just know that we are all awesome. and reserved seats rock. and if the magical world was real, i'd totally have a clean house.

did you notice

my harry potter countdown ticker is totally wrong. shame on me. or shame on the "the leaky cauldron" from where i got the thing.

i've been looking forward to this movie for year. when they changed the date from november, i cried. well , maybe i didn't cry, but i was mad. and now it's here. i didn't think it ever would come. kinda like when you are 12 and you think about graduating from high school. it's just not possible.

so yeah, please excuse the wrongness. it's not my fault. or it is because it's still there. i'll take it down after i see the movie and then come here to complain about it.

or post pictures of my kids all dressed up. not me, i don't dress up for things, cuz that is what geeky nerds do, and i'm totally not like that at all.

why does the price of diapers stay the same, even when you move up a size, and the package is smaller, and the number of diapers included is smaller? is that just the incentive you need to potty train? as if dealing with 2.5 year old poopy isn't enough, it's like pouring lemon juice on a fresh paper cut.

yes, my child is getting old and could be potty training, but instead of being sympathetic to the mom who's child is making more poop now than he did when he was newborn; diaper manufacturers seem to want to bleed me for every dollar i've got.

if fussy hadn't grown out of his cloth diapers, i guess i wouldn't be in this predicament. or if i weren't so lazy. either way.

it must be a boy thing...

the other day, we were on our weekly trip to the d.i., when i looked down to see both chilli and fussy laying on the ground, peering under the women's changing room doors.

i don't think they were seen. i hope they weren't seen. it's embarrassing enough to drag screaming kids out the door. still, i can't help but wonder what i would do, or say, if i saw a 6 year old accompanied by his baby brother, gawking at me while i was trying on clothes.

another dilema

if you couldn't guess, we've watched a lot of star trek in the last couple of weeks. big d and my sister are plotting against me. she works for the library and puts us on hold for all the original series (TOS for you trekkers) dvd's. big d picks them up from the library and puts them into his itunes. which i am sure is illegal, but it's star trek right? ( i guess you could argue that he does own them by paying taxes to the library, but we won't go into that)

while we have been watching, i've even gotten into it a little bit. i must admit that it is terrible acting, and even somewhat silly. but it's star trek, which means you get sucked into the story. you end up wasting half an hour watching. the boys are ga ga over it, even fussy will demand now to "watch spock" which is both disturbing and hilarious at the same time.


school starts in just over 2 weeks. i know that sounds silly when we haven't even got out yet, but since i will have another "lunch at school" kid, i've been looking at lunchboxes. and, i'm sure you've guessed it, both are demanding a star trek lunch box.

now i can look at this in a couple different lights:

1. they probably won't ever lose their lunch box. no other kid in school is going to want to steal it. and everybody is going to know who's lunch box has kirk and spock on the front.

2. they are both going to be teased mercilessly

3. star trek just might be cool. or at least different enough that it could become cool. i'm not sure, but i think geeky has started to be more in style. maybe i'm just delusional from watching too much bad 60's t.v.

4. big d might be too jealous for them to actually take the lunch box to school, and demand one himself. if that is the case, i'm gonna be a whole lot poorer trying to find 3 of the silly things.

so the dilemma is, do i get them a couple of really great lunchboxes, have happy kids who might be bullied by their dad or the kids at school, but run less of a chance of losing their lunchbox.....or do i buy some other kind of random box that is totally bland and boring?

i like the idea of my kids being able to express themselves, and i'm really happy about the fact that they aren't into lame thing ( i know, this is totally subjective) like disney stuff, or hsm, or other weird crap like pokemon. i guess because i've grown fond of spock and kirk, maybe i should let my kids have lunch with them everyday.

happy birthday harry

we had a birthday party for harry last saturday. we only do birthday parties every other year. it saves on my sanity. last year chilli had one, this year it's harry's turn.

he went with a lego theme.

we limited the number of friends, well, because 9 year old boys are crazy. he invited 5 friends and 3 came. we had lots of snacks thanks to the parade earlier in the day.

harry had decided the games. he wanted to do a game like pictionary only using legos. he also had drawn a big mini fig and we played "pin the helmet on the lego guy". we then guessed the amount of lego's in a jar. we then played a nice round of "pick up lego's with chop sticks". at last we let the boys free build. they had a blast and made a lot of fun things. even big d was in on the action.

after the party was over, we rushed harry to his friends birthday party at the bowling alley. when he got home, we went to our ward swim party. after that we went to the fireworks. it was a crazy busy day.

chilli and fussy at the parade before

some things in star trek must be easier

my nieces are cool. really really cool. this is them, here and here.

anyway, we came home from church yesterday to this. it totally shows how cool they are. and how much of a geek we are.

but i digress.

we have mice. it's totally gross and we are working hard to get rid of the dumb rodents. i wanted to just get a cat, but big d got some traps. which, lets face it, is really super gross. but as i am allergic to cats, the traps really are the better way to go.

yesterday, being creeped out thinking about the traps that could go off at any minute, and seeing the coolest banner on my front porch, led me to the daydream of the 23rd century. if only i lived then, i'm sure mouse extermination would be much easier.

wouldn't it be nice to have a computer readout of all the life forms in your house? it might be freaky to see how many mice and spiders and other things that crawl live in the basement, but still, i think it would be convenient. sure, we've caught 2 mice, but how many more are calling my garage home? wouldn't it be nice to know.

then we thought of star trekian ways to kill the mice and big d and i agreed, that a barian sweep would be the best idea. it kills everything. like a nice sanitized house. that would be great. of course we couldn't remember if it vaporized the bodies or not. if it did, man, that would be sweet. i think dead mice in the garage would smell bad.

too bad it isn't the 23rd century. all my problems would be solved.

the wasatch back.

running is a lot like childbirth. about half way through, you think to yourself "what the hell was i thinking". and it hurts. a lot. well at least for me. you chafe, you blister, your either too hot, or too cold. you shorts don't fit right, and you know that there is something that can make it go quicker, you just haven't found it yet.

ragnar wasatch back start line

unfortunately, there is no magic pill. there is nothing that can make it go faster besides your two legs, (and maybe that energy drink they were giving away that totally gave me the shakes). but there is nothing like crossing that finish line.

we started off the weekend with a dinner at the olive garden, the m.o.f.i.a. momma's team 1 and 2

team 1: cara (driver) melodee, shelah, amy, stacy, lyn, julie

marie, christy, linsey, katy, megan, me, arlynda

a couple of pictures at the hotel, and an early bedtime. it was early in my book. and probably the part i was looking forward to the most. not only is my friend megan, like, THE coolest person ever, she also let me sleep at her house. i have been looking forward to sleeping by myself for a year. no fussy, no big d. just me. it was glorious. or it would have been if i could have slept about 4 hours longer. we were up at 5, caught our ride into logan, and to the start line we went. we checked in our team, and waited for our turn to cross the line.

the m.c. at the start line. here we are at 4 minutes to go time

and i mean "our turn" because it really is a whole team event. it's the team mates who are making sure the runner has water. the van leapfrogs the runner and we all sort of jump out and supply the runner with anything they need. it's kinda fun.

lyn was awesome. she ran the first leg, and was done being nervous way before it set in for me. by the time i realized i was next, i sort of panicked. not because i didn't think i could do it, just that i had such a hard time last year, and i was sure i was gonna be puking by 10 pm.

lyn handed off to arlynda (who's first leg was hellishly long)

arlynda meeting up with her kiddies

arlynda running through nibley/hyrum

and arlynda handed off to me.



we were in hyrum. it was sort of weird. i knew where i was, just not really. i remembered buildings and places and living there when i was 9, but i have never ever run in hyrum. i've really not been back.



the good part about running through farmers fields is that you can see. and it's beautiful and the mountains were right there. the bad thing is, you can see. and it seems like a mile is about 10 miles, and it just goes on forever. about this point, my new ipod shuffle decided to die. and not the battery part. like the whole "turn on and work" part. so i was bummed. about mile 3 i was feeling my groove, but not really happy groove. it wasn't too hot, but it was boring. and i forgot how lame it is to get passed by. i did do my own share of passing other people, but most of them were neighbors watching. or small children. or roadkill. so not my fastest of runs, but still.

me, looking grumpy. "my ipod quit!"

about the one mile to go mark, there were these kids with water. it was so nice, and all these runners ahead of me were ignoring them. so i HAD to stop and get some water from them. and say hi. and talk about the weather. there was this guy in front of me who kept complaining about the altitude. and i totally passed him. it was great. i loved it when other runners were dying.


i round the corner, see the chute and i am so happy to pass off the bracelet to marie. who is also pretty darn cool. she is some kinda of crazy running animal. and then i wiped the sweat of, and sat in the van. i was curious about my friend megan doing the leg i did last year. i knew she could do it. but with all the rain, i was praying that it wouldn't be muddy. and it wasn't. it was awesome. she went up the avon pass and did an amazing job. if only i had been that great last year. i'm not jealous or anything. she just rocks.

avon pass

megan handed off to shelah, who took off and we lost her. see, she runs faster than cars. much faster than our van stuck in traffic descending avon pass. she was so amazing, but we knew that.

shelah passed off to van 2 (julie, christy, deanna, stacy, melodee, amy), we decided to get some food, rest our legs and try to sleep a little. lucky for everyone i grabbed a couple of energy drinks. and i downed one. not because of anything except i had a huge headache and i knew a little caffeine would do me good. i didn't read how much caffeine was in the drink, and while we were resting, i was thinking about 10, 0000 miles a minute, and my heart was racing, and i just started giggling. i think they all hated me. but it could have been the toilets up on snowbasin. that didn't work. and there were no honey buckets. yeah, that is probably what my team mates were upset about. it couldn't have been me.


after an all too short rest, we piled back into the van. we said goodbye to lyn and told her we'd catch her at the bottom of trappers loop. which we totally would have. she did amazing, and didn't even need us to catch her.






again, lyn handed off to arlynda, who gave the bracelet back to me. my second run of the day. through some back road town in the middle of nowhere. actually, i just don't remember where. this was my almost 5 miler. it was nice. it was cooling off. there were some kids out handing otter pops, which i took, you know, because they were so cute. i didn't want to eat it. and i didn't want to throw it, so i just held on to it. my back up ipod was working, so that was so much better than my first run. there was this youngish guy in front of me, and i kept up with him. i'd get close to pass him, and then he'd speed up. then i'd catch up and get close to passing him again. i was pretty steady the whole race. i overtook him about 2 miles to go. at about half a mile, i saw big d. he was taking pictures of me, while my kids ran around in little circles on some one's lawn. that was fun to. i gave them a big kiss and went to cross the finish line. i felt great. i heard fussy start to scream. it gave me the motivation to run really fast.


i handed off to the animal marie, who took us to morgan (if i remeber right) and poor megan took over in the dark of night. megan has cool family though, and we were able to see them and her brother even ran her leg with her. which, i thought was really neat. while megan and shelah were running, we went to arlynda's auntie's house. and crashed. we showered, ate, and crashed. sorta.


when shelah and megan were done, they joined us. they ate and we set out bags on the floor. i was still so excited and i still had so much energy. i was dead tired, but i couldn't sleep. i got the itchies and i was either too hot or too cold. or the floor was too hard. i think i finally dozed off about 20 minutes before shelah was up getting ready to go. so i got up and started packing our stuff up to get going.


we were out the door at 4-something. we drove to our exchange somewhere out there beyond morgan. there was a lot of traffic, and it was really cool to watch the sun come up and see all the runners. there were moments of sprinkling rain. it was cold.


at this point, we are tired. we were eating bread and peanut butter. we were disgusted by the shape of the honey buckets, which were getting sucked out while we were waiting in line. amy came in and lyn was off again. then to arlynda, and then to me.

lyn, waiting to run the last

lyn, her last leg

waiting for lyn to come in

this was the leg i was most worried about. it was 8 miles, and it had a major hill at the end. at least that is what it looked like. it wasn't so much a hill as a freaking mountain though. but i decided i would just give it my all. i held back at the beginning, i didn't want to fatigue myself. but after going on those hills, i tried to just enjoy it.

trying to enjoy it

and the funny thing was, i really did. i was running, it was raining, the wind was blowing. it was hard. the uphill was hard. it was a windy uphill mountain thing. it was amazing. this is the part i came back for. this was the feeling i wanted. i felt wonderful. i was tired, and at one point, i went around a bend and saw the road, and it was uphill, and i started to cry. then i told myself it would be stupid to cry, it would waste too much energy. and besides, i was a bad ass runner, and this was no big deal. i really felt like i could do anything. i watched the clouds roll over me. i felt the hail. it was absolutely beautiful. i had an awesome downhill stretch to the transition, and i just booked it. i let myself go as fast as my legs would go. i knew my quads would be sore. i just went for it. i handed off to marie and i felt like i could fly.

me, shelah, arlynda. i'm totally done!

marie, getting ready to rock that downhill



marie, megan, shelah. they all went for it in turn. they each gave the last they had. when we handed off to the other van, we felt amazing. we were tired and hungry and getting sore. we had blisters and chaffing and we were so stinky. but we felt amazing. and not just because we had just run, but because we had done a hard thing. and we had been there for each other. we had been sitting in a van, cheering our runners on. we were all working toward a goal, and we did it. there is not a feeling like that in the world. except for maybe having a baby. but at least when you run the wasatch back, you don't' have to change any diapers. hopefully.


we went to a cabin in midway. we rested. we chatted. i had a minor breakdown when i couldn't find big d. thinking he had fallen off the mountain, i was pretty worried. but eventually i found him, and yelled, and i felt so much better.

we waited at the finish line for our team to come in. the last runner has no support. she runs on the trail. we were worried when she wasn't there when we thought she would be. it was starting to rain. it was cold. the wind was terrible. we were huddled together watching and waiting. and worrying. we climbed up a hill and waited. the rain was starting to get worse. we were shivering. and we were praying it would be over soon. we kept our eyes on the trail waiting. at last we saw her yellow jacket and amy came into view. we couldn't help ourselves but started screaming and cheering her one. it was a feeling of pure joy. she was up to us and we ran with her. she went to the shute and then she took off like a crazy runner lady and i was trying to keep up. granted, i had a blanket on me, i couldn't 't see straight. the rain had picked up and we were drenched. we crossed the line. we got our medals. we posed for what i am sure will be mistaken for some kind of drowning race picture. and then it started sleeting. i am grateful for the happy weather gods that granted us only rain while we were running. this however was another matter all together. after quick hugs and goodbyes, we scattered. the sleet was coming down hard.

i was running with untied shoes, a blanket over me, my 50 pound backpack, a sleeping bag, and harry's and chilli's umbrellas. this i think was the hardest part of the race. when we finally boarded the shuttle, my legs were shaking and my head was spinning. of course i was too tired to think. i had slept about 2 hours. i had an emotional breakdown earlier. i was thankful to see my family, so have my fussy clinging to me. and yet, i was bummed that another race was over. and not just any race. the wasatch back isn't about making great time. i mean, it can be, i think, if you want. it wasn't about showing each other up. it's about doing something that is hard, with people who want you to succeed. and i think that is what makes it so amazing. it's cheering each other one. its about caring for your teammates. it's about owning their speed, or their hills, as much as your own. it's about becoming more than the sum of your speeds. or distance. or hills.


and that is why we do it.