on second thought

I'm pretty granola. I like natural birth and breastfeeding. I try to give my kids natural foods, good for you kind of things. So it was only natural that I would want to try, not only to save the environment, but to be that extra bit of hippy, by using cloth diapers.

I mean, it is inevitable. I was curious from my la leche league days. I saw all these cute baby bums covered in the most adorable diapers. Mom's who seemed to have the whole thing together, and had a natural solution to overcrowding at the local landfills.

When I was pregnant with Chilly, I almost considered it. Cloth diapering that is. I watched other moms do it, and I was almost sold. Until I figured out how much they cost, and even though I knew it would be cheaper than doing disposables, I couldn't justify the large cost to start.

So with Fussy, I decided I was going to do it. I bought several different kinds of diapers. I was excited. I knew exactly how I was going to do it. I bought my first sets from ebay! when I was done, and he had outgrown them, I would just sell them! so I stocked up. Cute little prints, adorable covers. Cloth wipes. I did my research on what all I needed.

And then fussy was born. We were told the meconium days were best done with 'posies, so we got a package. And we didn't want to waste, so we used them all. And then people brought by more packages of diapers for gifts. I didn't want them to feel bad, so we used them. By the time I had run out, the small cloth diapers didn't fit him anymore. And the mediums didn't fit him yet.

But I wasn't going to be undone! Even though his chubby legs didn't fit in them, I still put the different diapers on fussy. He would pee once and I had to change him. Clothes too. Then he'd poop, every time he ate, so I'd have to change him. 10-15 diapers a day. And wipes. That was a lot of laundry. Not from all the diapers, but from all the clothes.

So I would go and buy more disposables. I'd tell myself "when he quits pooping so much, then I'll do cloth" . Ashamed of my non-granolaness, I hung my head every time I opened a package of diapers. All the people I had excitedly told about cloth diapers..well, I avoided the conversation when it turned to how i was doing with diapers. How could it be so hard?

So here I am to say, to all my friends and family who told me not to cloth diaper my baby. "you were right" "who on earth would want to do it" "does anybody want to buy some barely used small diapers?"

Someday I will do it, just to prove you all wrong, but for right now, I've got enough on my plate, or in my laundry.