Friday, August 28, 2009
wonderpig? seriously? and super reader, princess pea, blah blah blah....i'm just starting to doze, when the t.v. asks "now say your name"
and in the faintest of whispers, i hear "chilli". (well, i hear him use his own name)
as if he is trying to be subtle and pretend that he doesn't care. mostly i think he just doesn't want his big brother to make fun of him.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
silly boys. i was happy that they did work so hard today. we moved a lot of furniture and cleaned up a lot of mess. we threw away a lot of junk and we all feel better about the state of playroom now. it's funny though, how a silly thing like funny glasses can make the day worth it.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
4. there was a kid that looked like mr. bean sitting in front of us. no really, he looked exactly like mr. bean. it was awesome.
8. i think it's better to be a star trek nerd than a star wars geek. while star wars might have more "action", it's really bad acting/script/dialogue. at least star trek is almost smart. just saying'.
yeah, i'll stay home and get my star wars fix the way it's supposed to be, playing the lego version. ahhhh yeahhhhh...
because really, the video game version is so much better.
Friday, August 21, 2009
here are the pictures though. most of them are fussy related, really, we must hate our other two kids, huh? ah well. most of the time they were off playing with cousins or riding scary rides, or whatever. and you know, that fussy of ours is pretty dang cute
getting ready to ride puff the first time
blurry me and fussy
driving his car
up on the mountain, he stole his daddy's hat
climbing on the snow lift thing-ee
harry, master of the swings
and master of the crane
fussy at the swings...er... ski lift
all in all, we had an excellent time. it was wonderful to spend time with family. to let the cousins use their imaginations and get lost in their play. we swam at the pool, we hiked on the crane. we stayed up way too late playing games. it was so much fun, i'm glad i'm home now. although i would love to take another vacation from the laundry that i now have to do.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
me on the other hand, well, i'm not quite like chilli. i am competitive, and i am not a natural at socializing. that is quite obvious from the opposing team. it was made up of most of the rest of the 6 year olds from our ward. the parents sort of have a thing going on. and whether we live on the wrong street, or we just aren't as outgoing as the rest, well, you get the idea.
sometimes, when i see how excluded i am, i really am thankful. mostly because that means i don't have to worry about changing who i am to fit in. i know i'm kinda quirky. i know i am NOT cool, by all means. but the pull is very real to fit in. when i am not in the group, i am almost grateful. seriously. sure, who like to be excluded? but when you think about it, i just know i wouldn't fit in. i wouldn't be able to be the real me. i'd always be wondering if what i was saying was stupid, or if my hair and nails and stiletto heels looked okay, if my butt was too big, or if i wasn't sending my kids to the right preschool.
the other side of the coin is this... i see pretty much the entirety of the ward and neighborhood 6 year olds out there, and i think that my poor son is being punished for me. because of my socializing ineptitude, my son won't fit in. because i don't fit in with the ward's inner ring, my kids are probably missing out on playmates. no matter what i do, my children will notice. they do notice. when most of the primary classes are on the opposing team, as well as the best friend and cousin, well...that sort of stinks.
big d reminded me that isn't not a big deal. they will get their own experiences and be able to do the same kinds of things, only it will be with people who do actually like them. and it will probably be when they are older and i'm not around to mess things up. i think he's right.
i certainly don't want to change who i am, nor do i want my kids to have to as well. do i want them to see me change who i am? i know the "inner ring" folks aren't having meetings to exclude, nor are they secretly plotting against my children. it's just how life works. sooner or later my kids are going to learn that life lesson, it might as well be sooner when i can be around and show them it doesn't really matter. it's better to be who you are than be who you aren't.
Saturday, August 08, 2009
big d had to work today. and in working, i mean, he was gone. is gone. all day. tomorrow too. so instead of sulking away the day, wishing for a more productive saturday (morning run? ha!) we went on an adventure. my 3 sons and i.
maybe it's because i didn't want to stay home and clean up for the 40th million time this week. or finish the laundry that i started wednesday. maybe it's because i just didn't want to be jealous of big d who was out of town, doing cool stuff.
so i strapped them in, and we left. and we drove. and drove.
we stopped at the chocolate factory. the place i remember so vividly. the smells of chocolate and popcorn, the feel of the cold ice cream cooler in the parlor. the ancient look of the place. after buying the kids enough chocolate to make them sick, we left. they loved it. they asked all sorts of questions, and i wished we could have taken a tour of the place.
we drove on.
and we came to the lake that i remembered for it's itty bitty shells that litter the place. the feel of the dark gritty sand and the cold water. the breathtaking view of the vibrant water. i sat back and watched the boys play in the freezing water, and giggled while they secretly loaded their pockets with little shells. i sat content on the sand and day dreamed about being there as a kid, chasing gulls myself, just as the two year old was doing.
after an hour of getting wet and getting very cold, we loaded up again. and drove.
fussy fell asleep. we wandered. we drove to the middle of nowhere and turned back toward home. and kept going. through forest trails and foggy clouds. we watched the trees get taller and then get shorter. we watched farms fade to forest and then back again. and a solitary horse standing at the base of a hill. we saw skunks crossing the road.
we drove on. i pointed out the house that my grandpa lived in. it's changed, mostly because i haven't seen it for real for a long time. then we stopped at the cemetery.
my kids are fascinated by the cemetery. any cemetery. but this one, they were holding their breath as i told them who the people were. from my grandparents to my great grandparents, the the greats that crossed the ocean to live in zion. we cleaned off the tombstones and while the boys were running around looking, i had a heart to heart with my grandpa. i told him all about his namesake. i told him how much i missed him, and how sorry i was that i hadn't been there in a very long time. we piled back into our van and they listened to more stories about me, being a kid, just like they are now.
we then started the journey home. and i felt good. like maybe i taught my kids something about me. like maybe they might someday remember that day trip we once took. and i hope it wasn't just about the chocolate that almost made them sick.
maybe it's not always about going away to some fun filled place with rides or shows or cousins or something cool to do. it could just be that spending time, finding out where you come from might actually be important. but the chocolate doesn't hurt.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
my blog is not private, which means that i get a lot of people to my blog that i don't know who they are. i kinda like it this way. it's fun to see where people come from and who is reading my ramblings. i like the idea of a private blog. i wouldn't have to worry so much about what pictures i post, and using fake names and all that jazz. but the fun factor kicks in and i know that i won't blog much if i make it private.
that said, please, PLEASE remember that my blog is public. please don't use my kids names if you know me in person. i know it may have slipped a couple of times, and i've been fixing them. if you leave a comment with my children's names, i will delete your comment. it's not that i don't like you, it's just that...i'm trying to be as safe as possible and have as much fun as i can. don't make me go private. i really do love the comments.