Tuesday, March 31, 2009

parenting confessionals

for dinner tonight, instead of eating the usual fare of chicken and noodles, my boys ate strawberries and apples. and i was okay with that, mostly because they weren't fighting.

i've given up trying to get my whole wheat bread recipe to work and i just make white bread. because it turns out beautiful and my kids eat it. maybe some day, i'll get the right wheat recipe.

even though bedtime is at 8 pm, i usually let my kids stay up a little bit later to read.

every once in a while, i actually make breakfast that has something healthy in it. most of the time, i get the milk out and let them choose a cereal.

my son loves chicken nuggets for lunch, and i let him eat it every day.

i stock up on candy when i go to sam's club. i stick it in my purse, in the van, and in stashes around the house for those times when i need something to bribe my kids.

i hate playing trains on the floor. but i will. although i usually just lay there and roll the train back and forth on the same bit of track.

i don't have hairspray or a magic eraser, so my couch looks the same as it did when i took pictures on monday.

sometimes when my kid swears, it's funny. so i laugh. then i tell him not to do it.

i let my kids watch bad t.v. like survivor, or the office.

my kids are not all immunized. mostly because i don't want to get them, and sort of because i don't believe in taking them to the dr. when they are healthy.

i let my kids kiss the dog. and feed her table scraps.

add yours

Monday, March 30, 2009


has a thing for pens. we have several things that have been redecorated by our artist extraordinaire.

the latest is our couch.

i should take the blame for this. i left him unsupervised in an area where he could search out and find pens. i was down on the treadmill, and no amount of chocolate chips and dinosaurs can distract him from his true passion.
so, anybody know what takes pen off leather?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

darth vader was in the mini van in front of me today. while i was dropping the kids off at school. you know, the vader in the last movie (the original last). the guy who took on those bad guys with the red robes and the static electricity emperor. he got all beat up and had luke take off his helmet. THAT vader was driving a mini van in front of me. he was talking on a cell phone. probably talking about something on the death star. really, i know it probably wasn't him. that movie is like, 30 years old. and didn't luke burn him anyway? he took him back to the planet with the fuzzy little teddy bears, and made a big bonfire with a plastic dead guy, and some ghosts show up. i totally know my star wars.

he was driving so slow though. really slow, like he was dead already. and talking on that cell phone. i sat there for a good 5 minutes waiting for his little lukes and leias to all get out of their mini van, because mine wouldn't get out until i moved one more spot up in the line. and the bell had already rung, but they were all sitting there.

maybe darth was giving them last minute instructions to take over the school. maybe they were just having a bad morning, and were missing shoes and jackets and the baby was crying because he left his percy train home. maybe darth was bending his elbow the wrong way, trying to tie the shoes of his 5 year old, who just can't figure out how to tie his shoes even though he's tried to teach him so many times. darth was probably signing permission slips and last minute checks and shoving them in his kids backpacks.

maybe darth just knew what was waiting at home. darth has a headache that he's had for 2 days. the 2 year old, who was screaming, was up all night, and he knows that it's gonna be a rough day. in fact, he knows that the innocent kid will be into everything. like the dishwasher, pulling out the dirty dishes and then screaming when darth shuts it. the 2 year old will probably scream for something to drink, and when you get it for him, will either dump it out, or scream for something else. the 2 year old will most likely roll out the entire roll of toilet paper. he will most likely eat the dog food himself. and probably sneak outside through the dog door and find a way into the chicken coop. or maybe darth just doesn't want to do all that laundry, or clean up the soggy cereal. or step on legos. or clean up the bathrooms. maybe luke is terrible at aiming and the toilets are disgusting. he probably just wants to sit in the van, talking on the phone, taking a break for a minute.

of course, i don't blame him. i completely understand. but the problem is, i need to get home to do all that stuff, and he's just sitting there. looking all mouldy and beat up. and bald. and i'm waiting for his kids to exit the van. my kids are yelling, so he really should hurry up and get out of the spot so that my kids will exit. besides, there are 10 vans behind me, and i can't move until he does. and i don't think the vans behind me realize who it is in front of me. i can see in my mirror they keep giving me dirty looks, like they have some toilet sanitizing they can't wait to get to.

i can't honk at the vader guy. i mean, it's darth vader. he can strangle you with a glance. he has the force. he flies space ships. he's totally in charge of the death star. everyone is in awe and in fear of him. and he's talking on his phone, it would be so rude if i honked.

5 minutes, which in school time, is like an infinity. in screaming toddler time, 5 minutes is even longer.

Friday, March 20, 2009

a day at the zoo

taco and i went to the zoo last week for a field trip. big d was really cool and stayed home with fussy. it was cold and miserable.

so we made up for it today. i took the kids after early out school, and we headed down to big d's work, and then to the zoo.

it was a beautiful day. it was good to be out and with the kids. fuss learned to say gorilla and rhinoceros. it kills me how old he is. and between whining about how tired they are, the boys enjoyed themselves. we've been sick for so long, that it felt great to be doing something other than coughing at each other.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


it's not so much the fact that i'm sick
it's what happens when i am

things don't get done
like dinner
and grocery shopping
and bathing the dog
and spending the time upright
and blogging
and running
and making lunches
and staying awake, even during the middle of the day

the things that do get done
lots and lots of movies have been watched
including star trek. almost all of them.
and i think i slept through all of them
and lots and lots of thomas the train
and lots of eating of weird things
and lots of kids making messes
and lots of unsupervised kids
and lots of fighting and name calling and screaming
while both big d and i were trying to stay awake

and while i didn't go for the flu shot this year,
i'm still pissed that i got sick.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

check it out

i know this really cool girl, and on her blog, she is giving away some uber cool scentsy stuff. all you need to do is go over there and leave a comment, easy-peasy.

did i mention she is cool? and she is fun too. i should know, i spent a couple of days with her last summer when i thought running up hills was a good idea. so if you haven't left yet, go now....

Friday, March 13, 2009

the un eaten, half eaten cookie

it sits there on the pantry shelf
looking at me

some little hands found it
2 bites were taken
the cookie was then rejected

they put it back on the shelf
not in the box
but sitting alone
cold and naked on the pantry shelf

waiting for me

do i want that cookie?
should i give in to the guilt of leaving a cookie
sitting alone on the shelf?


i shall eat the cookie
it's better to not waste
when there are starving people in africa
when there is famine across the world
it's like my own little food storage
sitting alone
on the shelf
nobody else wants it
they left it there
because someone took 2 bites

and also
it's a girl scout cookie
and they only come once a year

Monday, March 09, 2009

a lesson from those punks on capitol hill

or whoever it is that decides this whole "daylight savings" thing.

first off, i'm not a fan. well...i'm not a fan right now. give me time to adjust to the fact that my brain isn't quite awake an hour before i usually get up. i know i'll be grateful for the extra hour during the summer, but right now...hmmm not so much. then again, i've really accomplished quite a bit today...

i was thinking about it though, this whole "messing with time" thing is really quite amazing. it's like the power of God or something. here we are, regularly it would only be 2 in the afternoon, but now it's actually 3, and time to go get kids from school, and get dinner started and all that jazz. that is why those punks do this. just another example of absolute power corrupting absolutely. of course, during the day, it seems i've got so much more done!

then again, what if i could do this myself? what if i could change my clocks to 15 minutes ahead of schedule and get my body used to that? i'd never be late to church. i'd always pick up the kids on time, i'd have dinner ready and waiting. i'd have so much more time in my day. i wonder what would happen if i did a half hour early? or even better, an HOUR. of course, i'd be really early dropping the kids off for school, but i could again get so much more done!

okay, realistically, it's not going to happen. it's nice to dream though. i will leave my clocks all set randomly a bit early and call it good. maybe i'll even go to bed earlier and try to wake up earlier? yeah, right...

Saturday, March 07, 2009

a first, and a couple of seconds of panic...

it is inevitable. in the joy of raising children there are a few moments of terror. like the time you lost the baby in the mall, or when he runs out into the street chasing a ball. then there are moments of just panic, like the slipping down the stairs, or shoving something up their nose.

yesterday was such a day for us. it wasn't the terror, it was the panic. it was the first time in my career as a mom, that i had to find something shoved up my baby's nose. it was a popcorn kernel shoved innocently up the nose of my 2 year old.

he started crying out to me, pointing at his nose and saying "paw-corn". my heart jumped a bit. i immediately thought of my niece who had once shoved popcorn up her nose, only to have it sprout a couple of days later. not wanting a plant growing out of my sons face, i decided to take a look. i saw the offending kernel sitting just at the precipice of his sinus, on the edge of floating into outer darkness.

i knew if screamed, or sucked too hard in, it would be gone, and we would be at the insta care handing over cash and holding him down. this is the point i refused to panic. but i did anyway. i found the nose sucker thing, and prayed that he would let me suck it right out. i tried to keep fussy calm, but at this point of seeing the dreaded nose sucker, he started crying. maybe the tears would help make the nose a little more slippery? i wasn't sure, but i was hoping that if i kept him upright, gravity would help. and it did. i sucked it out 3 times. on the third i saw the dangling little kernel just begging for me to pull it out. and it did. i slid my finger down his nose and out it popped. there is a first time for everything. and this truly was it. you wouldn't think that it would be almost 9 years of being a mommy until i had this problem.

thank goodness it was that easy. thank goodness the nose sucker was handy. and thank goodness i didn't completely lose my cool. like i have, so many other times...

Friday, March 06, 2009

i was lying on the couch this morning, just feeling really crappy, when i turned on pbs kids. (we don't get cable)

i was confused by this show. even through half open eyes, i felt a little disturbed by the gang here. let's forget the over sized heads for a minute and lets take a count. cute latino girl...check. super hero boy...check. other girl...check. pig boy....che...what?

is anybody else concerned about a pig joining up with a bunch of kids? what does this mean? it's true, i'm tired, but i don't get this show.

then there was this one, that came on right after:

i was even more tripped out. i mean, the words are walking around talking. did these animators take acid? or am i really THAT tired? and this is supposed to encourage reading? i was frightened. really frightened.

there are also these guys. i don't even know what they are, but they were a book, so that is okay? did anybody ever question the author writing about various rodents as people. some even look a little too human. or like celebrities. if that isn't creepy, i'm not sure what is.

and lets not forget

because that right there is just wrong. and he loves all little children. does he secretly take them in the back and eat them? just sayin'.

i think i might just have needed to stick in that stupid cars movie we've seen 1.5 million times. of course i have issues with that too. like why do they have doors? how do baby cars come into the world (is that the reason for cars doors)? and how do they do things without hands? just tires? and those eyes are just eerie...

all that aside, i guess these are much better than the uber creepy veggie tales. i can say, if i were to just listen, it would be a lot better than seeing the creepy appendage-less, talking, gospel spouting veggies.

and we wonder why t.v. is so bad for our children...

Monday, March 02, 2009


if you are mormon, you know the rhyme

"saturday is the day you get ready for sunday"...or something like that. i'm not a good mormon.

well, i think i want to add another one

"monday is the day you start planning for friday"

it just so happens that the weekend is about 4 days too short. how on earth am i supposed to get all i should get done, in 2 measly days? especially when one of those days is devoted to NOT doing work? it's like a little paradox of time/work/chores. the day of rest defiantly is not a restful day, yet, it seems it has nothing to show for it, besides trashing the house. yet again the laundry is smelling, the dog needs fed, the dishes have piled up, and the baby is running wild. (he always runs wild, so it's not just a monday thing). the floors are sticky, the carpets need freshening, and the baby just dumped a cup of water all over (he was chasing the dog). the boys rooms' are full of wrappers, the bathrooms need wiped down (with a hose) and the beds need changing. the walls have hand prints, finger prints and paw prints. and the lights are dusty.

only 4 more days 'till friday.