Sunday, November 30, 2008
9. thanksgiving has no annoying music. i mean, you CAN play christmas music, but you don't have to. thank goodness, because if you did, we'd have to start, what, in july?
8. lack of presents. christmas is so overdone. thanksgiving is much more relaxed. i mean, you do have to do some major cooking/baking, but you don't have to buy presents for your niece, your second cousin, or the milk man.
7. for thanksgiving, you don't have some strange fat guy upstaging everything that is important. really, who invited him? and why doesn't he use the door? sure he brings stuff for the kids, but they really already have too much.
6. thanksgiving lasts one day. while technically christmas does too, it just seems like the whole month of december is full of christmasy things to do. by the actual date of christmas, i am pretty bored with it all.
5. christmas doesn't have a dorky parade. while i know this might be something in favor of christmas, really it isn't. big d and i love the macey's thanksgiving day parade. i think it holds a special place in our heart, ever since the year we actually attended. in the rain. sadly, we left new york before we could appreciate anything christmasy the city offered.
4. uh, food! thanksgiving isn't full of questions on what to serve. you serve turkey! and potatoes and yams and stuffing. if you want to add other stuff, that is fine. but you always have turkey. its wonderful to look forward to a special meal. if you don't like something, you can stay way, and you know there will be plenty of food.
3. simplicity, thanksgiving is one meal. you can make it as short or as long as you like. you can eat and then snuggle while watching a movie.
2. thankfulness. i think christmas sells us short. we spend time and money on buying presents that we know will make others happy. we give to the needy (hopefully). we spread good cheer. but thanksgiving is the time when we should focus on what we are grateful for ourselves. no matter what we have. giving is great and wonderful, but being thankful without being broke, is better. it just is.
1. traditions. it seems like everyone has a special thanksgiving tradition. whether it be playing games around the table after, watching football, running in a turkey trott. it is about doing things together with your family. while we were driving down the freeway, on the way to my parents house, i looked at the other cars and realized that most of the people traveling were doing the same thing i was. they were going somewhere to be with people and eat turkey. it kind of connected me to everybody. it's llike a common thread that we can all related too.
i know that my reasons for loving this holiday are probably silly and weird, it is true. thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. the night before i expressed to big d that i was upset that it was already here. we looked at me funny and told me i was weird. he knew how much i looked forward to that day. but he knew why, because now it is over. and we have a whole 'nother year to look forward to it.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
"mom, harry said he'd give me a whole dollar if i cleaned his room"
me: "oh really? a whole dollar huh? that sounds pretty good, if it wasn't so messy."
harry is sitting on the toilet reading a book, "taco, don't tell mom!"
taco: "oh...., uh....., never mind"
i don't know which is worse; that i have an enterprising son that will pay his brother money to do his chores, or the money-loving son who will do manual labor for money? either way, i think my kids are headed for greatness. maybe.
Monday, November 24, 2008
they were both excited for their new warm coats! it was friday when they first wore them to school. the first friday of november in fact. on the first friday of the month, harry's teacher has show and tell. the topic of show and tell this month was to bring something you are thankful for. of course harry forgot to bring something, but being the guy he is, he thought he would show the class his "new" coat.
this coat isn't new. it's nice and puffy and warm. but not new. it has been through 2 other boys of harry's age. it has a little tear in the arm, it's the permanent dirty color (although it does look okay). it's just not brand new from the store, and it is pretty obvious from looking at it.
so harry stood up in front of his peers and showed them his coat, that he truly is grateful for. he showed them the hood, and the pockets and the puffiness of it. he put it on and told them how warm it was. and they laughed. his fellow students laughed at his coat. his nice warm, puffy, grey coat that he was so thankful for.
it upset harry that the kids didn't take him seriously. he didn't understand why the kids would laugh at his coat. when harry told me this story it made me feel bad. i felt bad because my kids only do know hand me downs, they don't have the coolest new clothes.
but then i felt happy. i was happy for a kid who didn't care. who didn't see the coat as all that, or what his peers saw it for. i have a kid who is grateful for the coat because of what it does, rather than what it means.
and that is huge when you think about it.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
i especially feel this way in my ward. there seems to be two opposing groups of cliques. the cool kids and the misfits. i don't fit in either one. until this weekend, i really didn't know that they existed. i mean, i knew they did, but i had no idea what they did. i'm now sorry i know.
i feel bad, but not really. i don't want to be invited to the parties, because then i have to find some good excuses NOT to go. maybe that is why they don't invite us? what i do feel bad about is the people who DO care about that. why aren't they invited?
then i started wondering why the misfit group really was the misfit group. because the husband is not a member? because they talk too much? because they are competitive? because they have some weird tendencies?
other stuff has been going on, even in my own organization. i feel helpless as to how to remedy it. really i can't. i am glad i know, yet in a way, there really is nothing i can do. i mean, i can stand up and say it isn't right, but that won't change what is going on.
ignorance really is bliss in some cases. i want to go back being naive. i don't want to know about the parties, the girls night outs, the clubs, the scrap booking. i want to be unaware about the pandering. the gossip. the dredging of names through mud puddles. it puts lead right in my heart.
the thing about being naive though, is that once it is gone, you can never get it back. you can pretend, but that usually just ends in you looking foolish.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
but now i have another question.
i have been doing some family history research. probably 10 years ago i got bit and started finding my roots. it's cyclical though. some months i spend way too long online, doing research, and other times, i can go a year without even thinking about it.
i found some headstones a couple of years ago, almost in my same town, that i knew i was related too. some of my ancestors settled this area when they came across the plains as pioneers. which was so cool to find out. anyway i took some pictures of the headstones. however, at the time i couldn't figure out who they were, or how we were related. it was crazy and i sort of gave up on them. i knew we had to be related, but i just didn't know through who or how.
fast forward to the other day. i'm online doing some research, and looking, when i realize that the headstones that are for these two women, have their married names on them! i mean, duh! but it got me wondering, why don't we put the maiden name on the headstones, since all our records are done that way? it really would make it easier on us simple people, who don't know who was married to who.
that made me think of my posterity, and how crazy it would be to try to piece my history together, so when i die, please carve my maiden name on my grave marker. you can throw it all up there. not that anyone will ever try to find out who i was or anything, i just like to give credit to my family too. seriously.
i did figure out where these two ladies fit. they were polygamist wives of some guy from my family history. they were buried side by side. i still find it kind of weird, but kind of cool too. they are my great great (great?)aunts. it's nice to know.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
but with a girl, it seems that is okay, or even expected.
having a daughter automatically makes it okay to spoil your child? to profess their royalty?
now, i get some of it. i know that as women, we need to teach our girls that they are special. that they are daughters of God. that each of them are really princesses. by calling them that every day though, does that make it less important? does it take away from the times when they really do need to know?
what about our boys though? do they have less of a need to know where they come from?
i don't mean to offend, if you call your daughter by those names. i just wonder why the double standard? why can't i tell my son that they truly are a prince? it just sounds so gay. or condescending.
instead, we call our boys, "buddy", "champ", or "junior" or other assorted silly names. and if we hint in the least that he has his mommy wrapped around his finger, it's a bad thing. instead of a sweet thing when it's a little girl.
while i'm at it, what is with the "snakes and snails and puppy dog tails"? isn't that a bit freaky. or grotesque? but girls get "sugar and spice and everything nice". how is this fair? who made these up? why do we have to expect our child to conform to these limited gender descriptions?
what do you think? am i over thinking this? or am i just a bitter and jealous mother of boys?
Monday, November 17, 2008
poor taco had a moment the other day, when he was upset by the fact that his little brother can strip with ease. i heard the words that are probably more frequent to the ears of mothers of boys.
"mom, he PEED on me!"
i tell ya, i don't know exactly what to do.
other than have the mop handy at a moments notice.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
*that 4 bags of the mega size candy mix. it was clearance-d out for .79, on a bag that originally cost $8. we thought it was a good idea at the time, but now, thinking more clearly, how in the heck am i going to get rid of 4 bags of tootsie rolls?
*that squeaky mouse that runs around the house. the baby loves it! he turns it on and off all during the day. sure it was clearance-d out, but i'm sure that given that dollar back, i'd rather eat it than listen to that stupid mouse.
*the huge size sam's club barrel of cheese puffs. 'nuff said
*the happy meals for 3 boys that included a stupid talking giraffe. it's really annoying. really times 3.
*rubber snakes and spider. only because i'm looking at them and wishing someone else would pick them up and put them away.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
1. Started your own blog
Thursday, November 06, 2008
And this kid! well, he has several costumes that he regularly wears, so we had no idea he was going to be harry potter until halloween night. he did look better, i think. but with a smile like that, who cares what you look like, people will give you lots of candy.
and this one, well, this isn't actually from halloween night, but he looked the same. only instead of a stroller, i carried him the whole way. and yes, i know you can't even see that he is a skeleton. i told you before, bad pictures!
and yes, i think i'm very pissed off in the picture. and the makeup is all smudgy, and i'm tired and my feet hurt. but there ya go. you got a problem with that?
and finally, big d, who was called everything from one of our founding fathers, to isaac newton, to the guy on corpse bride? i think his costume is really young scrooge, but who's counting anyway.
so there you have it.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
anybody know the song? anybody know that show?
well, the song is from the show "into the woods" by stephen sondheim. it's a great song, and one that i think about when ever i am talking or in a discussion with my kids right there. and even a few times, i taken heed and not spewed forth something that was hurtful, or would give my child the wrong impression.
but apparently not everyone thinks that way.
they held elections at school this year. i remembered doing that in elementary school. harry was so proud to come and tell me that he voted for obama. and then he told me that on the playground, other kids were mean to him. they would ask each other who they voted for, and when my son would answer, they would tell him that he was wrong, and that was stupid. they would tell my son that obama was going to take the guns away. obama was going to make all the white people slaves. obama was going to make everyone poor and take their houses away. obama was a terrorist and was going to crash planes into buildings. and other assorted outlandish things.
i wonder what my kid will face going to school today.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
10. the election.
bless the fact it is election day. i am thankful that i can curl up on my couch and watch the world explode. not really, but i am excited to see history. that is how i look at this election. i don't really care the sides or the issues anymore. i've argued myself out. i just want to see what happens when the dust settles. i am done though. i don't want to hear another word, i don't want to try and figure out who is the bad guy. i want to be blissfully unaware.
9. big d work schedule.
poor big d is working like mad. on a huge project. he will be gone all week long. we might see him friday, but i don't know for sure. i'm not really holding my breath. it's sort of a bummer because when he pulls into the driveway at 1 am, i'm not all cool with sharing the bed anymore. i think he can tell that when he politely asks me to move over. and we have a size king bed. i'm just selfish ya know.
harry is doing great at school. we went back on track this week, and for 2 days, he has come home happy. really happy. and he is doing well. really really well. the other night, as i was settling him into his bed, he was crying. he was feeling how blessed he is and he was overcome. it's moments like that.... those are the moments that melt my heart. and no matter how hard we've been on him, i know he gets it. and then on the way to school, he will punch his brother when he thinks i'm not looking.
7. taco (previously known as chilly)
he's totally into high school musical. really into it. and while it was cute the first time. and maybe a bit of the second, i'm kind of turned off by the fact that he wants to dance and actually BE troy. i mean, it's weird. he was totally anti hsm, until his cousin lent it to him. now he can't get enough. and enough is enough. and i can't imagine those who have been on this ride for a long time.
the kid is going through some major 2 issues. he screams, he undresses himself. he doesn't nap. and he screams. and screams and screams and hits and screams. i have a headache at 9 am. i wish i could get him not to scream because it's loud and hurtful and really loud and i hate it. really. i can't think of a more annoying sound. even the yapping dog is better than the scream that he screams
5. the show
we have an audience in a week. a week. and we have 2 rehearsals until then. and i am not ready. i totally am doing this for harry, which is weird, you would think that would give me more, but it actually seems to be harder. it is so much work to remember someone else things and get them in the right place. and i'm going at this, trying to give 100% even though i know i don't have it in me anymore. and that feels wrong and weird. and sort of like i am cheating. i want this to be a good experience for my kid. and it used to be something i really loved, and it didn't matter how hard it was. have i changed? i know i have, but have i changed that much?
i do a 40 mile week last week. and i feel it. not really with my legs, just my brain. the last thing i want to do right now is put on my shoes and go for a run. but i do. every day. and i don't know why. and it's cold, so my running is starting to be mainly on the treadmill. which sucks the life out of anything fun do with running.
is about making mistakes right. i think we have made a few here and there. and everywhere. but you know what, my kids are hard. maybe i could have done things different. but i think i've done a damn good job so far. my kids aren't the normal type of kids. they are different. they are creative and explore and are full of life. i think that is good. but it bugs me when people think that the way i am raising my kids is what is causing some of their issues. because it's not. they have those issues because that is who they are, and that is who they have been since day one.
i am so affected by the weather. i love the rain, but it makes me sad. i love the snow, but it makes me want to stay home and watch tv. and it's getting to that time of year. my friend explained fall as a time to "button all her kids in at home and stay close for the rest of the winter" and i love that. it feels so warm and homey. i like warm soups. i like hot chocolate. and i like snuggling on the couch and watching movies. or listening to music. but i have to get things done. i can't take days off and just sit and watch movies. i have to leave to buy groceries to feed the kids, to run the errands, take the kids to and from school. and almost every time i feel sad to pull out of my driveway.
i feel like i've pulled all of myself. i feel like i've taken the innermost of myself and used it all up. i know it's because i am using everything i have to keep things going. it's all of these things stuck together. and all of them have to come from me. i love all these things, and some of them are what keep me going, and some of them are just taking from me, and i feel worn out and done in the same breath. it's all hard. it's like reaching the next level on the video game. i can't not do it, because i've got to play. but i want to hand the controller over to someone else before i lose all my hearts. someone who knows how to get through this level. and the sucky thing is, i know that the next level is going to get even harder somehow, so i should just enjoy this level right now.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
and yes, eventually i will show you what they looked like in their costumes. or maybe big d will.