Monday, December 03, 2007

5 years ago

no, it isn't an anniversary of a birth, or a death, or anything else important. 5 years ago we moved. not to this house. to the house before this house. a manufactured or "move in" or "mobile" house.

we started in 2000, we signed contracts in 2001,we moved just before the end of the year in 2002. we legally bought it in 2003. we moved out in 2005. it involved big d working on the house many weekends. building lots of different things. it involved sleepless nights wondering how we were going to afford it, sleepless nights wondering if we were going to stay married. it involved being lied to by different people that we trusted. lots of lies, lots of evasive phone calls. lots of stress. at least 20k that is still missing, although we are pretty sure we know where it went. and it wasn't over when we moved in. in fact it seems to never be over

it really is like a wound, a deep cut that probably did need stitches. one little slice and it is open and gaping again. it's funny how i told myself i was over it, but it seems to always be there. little things that i remember coming back. little things coming to light. things are starting to fit into place, and after 5 years i am starting to understand a few things. i don't know which is worse, knowing about it now, or staying ignorant of the truth.

anyway, nothing big or fancy. just a moment in my life. a time where i wish i would have taken a different option. not that i don't learn from my mistakes, it's just that one still smarts on occasion.

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