Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Hello? Internet are you there?

So many times during the day I get a blank screen. Mostly when I am trying to talk to MOF's about children issues, or other silly things like that. It gets really annoying, having to refresh all the time. Sometimes I even have to go as far as unplugging different things to get everything rebooted.

It really is an amazing thing, that I can sit here in my chair and talk to somebody on the other side of the world (if they aren't sleeping). I can do my bills, or check the daily newspaper, find out my family history, or I can even sell a bunch of junk. But my favorite thing is to come here, spill my guts about my boring and silly life, and have you read it.

I aspire to be witty, I long to make good sentences. I enjoy blogging. I really do. It gives me a moment to focus on what my feelings are for that day. Sometimes I come here and write out a big post, only to delete it later because I think I have left myself a little too open. I blog for me. I thought.

Recently it has come to my attention that I do not get comments. I have been going through some self consciousness because of this. Is it because I am not funny? Do I not write anything interesting? Too much stuff about my kids? I would visit other blogs (maybe yours) and notice that they had more than the obliging comment from their spouse. I started feeling like I did in high school. I was surely not the most popular girl. Everybody knew who I was, but I wasn't invited to the cool parties, I didn't date very much, and I never got nominated for homecoming queen. Sure, I was the smart, theatre dork, student government geek, who had the teachers all fooled, but for some reason, my peers couldn't really care less.

So this is what blogging has become to me. A popularity contest of sorts. To understand why my comment numbers are so much lower than the rest of my small community. And to try and boost them. I started writing more frequently, and trying to entertain you, the bored reader who just skips ahead to the next blog. It wasn't really working, and I was getting frustrated. Then today as I sat down at the computer, hoping to have had a comment on my last post, and feeling like the ugly duckling of my blog ring, I figured out what my problem was.

I have been trying to entertain you, when in reality, the most entertaining thing about a blog is when it is just being yourself. It isn't about that blank screen at the bottom of the post.

So here I am.

and I am hoping I can go back to the way it was. Back to telling you how life in my small part of the world is going. Feel free to leave a comment if you'd like, but it isn't required.

17 comments:

scraphappymama said...

Yep, I can relate. I think sometimes I worry about the number of comments I get, or lack thereof, but in the end . . . I blog for me. Thanks for helping me not feel so alone:)

Plus, I love your blog. Sorry I don't comment more. seems I am always in a rush. No excuses, I know.

Vlyb said...

Oh yeah, sometimes four days will pass before I get a comment. And on my Yahoo blog...NO ONE comments. LOL I don't think anyone reads it since my adoption failed. But it is my real blog and I think it's good.

Anyway, sorry I haven't posted...I do read it tho! Us biker chics have to stick together!

Angela said...

Probably one of the reasons that I don't blog myself. I do read your blog and enjoy it very much. I'll try to be better at letting you know I've been here and stop lurking around. I think you're great!

APRIL said...

I actually do read your blog quite often, but didn't know the whole blog etiquette thing (comment on others blogs). Your blogs definately aren't boring. And congrats on the pregnancy! That's another fun thing to read about, knowing that I'm not the only one having all the "fun" (if you'd call aches, pains, and everything else fun....).

APRIL said...

OH! At least Big D reads and comments on your blog. The main time my DH reads my blog is when I tell him to (my whole remodel and wounding myself experiences).

The Constant Gardener said...

I think it's very easy to get caught up in the comments and forget why we are doing this whole blog thing! Thanks for a good reminder!

Katy said...

Thanks for the reminder! I need to remember to comment when I read!

Linsey said...

Ditto Katy and Alicia, thanks for the good reminder!

big d said...

your blog is always a good read.

big d said...

no really!

big d said...

i check it at least once a day.

big d said...

i'll try to comment more.

big d said...

nothing like good old fashioned external validation eh?

Stacy said...

I read. I comment. And mostly, I understand! I feel your pain of putting things out there and not having anyone "care". I think that some of those we know are involved in MANY rings and have family who read - extended family, too. If you invite more people more will comment.
But it isn't about that. We ALL love you and your blog...

MusicalMom said...

I'm here. I try to read, but I usually don't have time to comment. Actually, if I get my blog entry written, I call it a good day!

We love you, silent or not. :)

Lei said...

Yes, blog for you - much more fulfilling. The comments don't make it a good blog, you do!

emlouisa said...

Okay, love this post. I suffer from Commenter-Awareness as well and it sucks. The real reason I blog is for me, regardless of how many comments I get. (Or at least that's what I try to tell myself, lol)

Keep blogging, girl! I like your blog!