Monday, April 27, 2009

if you can't say anything nice...

" your baby girl is so cute" (me, just being nice, ya know)

"oh i know, she is a perfect baby"(clueless person)

"that is nice" (me again, nodding my head absently, knowing full well that babies are soul suckers)

"yeah, you really should have a girl"

"yeah, you really should lose 10 pounds"

i mean, really, how do you know what has happened in my life? do you know how long it takes me to get pregnant, how do you know i haven't had my own share of loss, how do you know it has been a long road to get the kids that i actually have here?
and what is the big deal? is there something that says girl babies are better than boys? what if i really like having boys. am i really missing out? and what does that mean, i "need" to have one. am i not complete without a daughter? and do you know if i haven't tried?
i know it isn't said with malicious intent, but i am so done with people assuming my fertility or my reproductive organs are their business.


Laurel said...

Personally I think boys rock. But maybe that's just cause I don't have any either???

Laurel said...

any girls, that is...

big-d said...

sure, i guess i'd like a girl, but it's the way these people say "you should have a girl!" like i checked the wrong box on the order form!! oh, crap, why didn't i request a girl during the year it took to get #3? oh, i know, i didn't follow the instructions right.

think before you talk people! maybe i can't do anything about it! ever think of that! maybe my boys outswim my girls every time.

it could be worse! what if we couldn't have kids! what if there had been an emergency hysterectomy? what if i'd had a tragic accident leaving me sterile? what if we'd already gone bankrupt trying invetro 'cause the insurance doesn't cover it?

stop assuming everyone can (and should) have at least one of each gender. stop assuming that those of us who can't/don't are lesser people, or are missing out on life.

even if we are, we'd rather not hear about it from you!

Megan said...

I'm sorry that people can be so insensitive. They really are clueless because they haven't been where you are. I'm sorry. And if you want my opinion, my girl is MUCH harder than my boy. So take that clueless person! I hope you did tell her to lose 10 pounds, lol.

One Crazy Family said...

People are very stupid sometimes

I think your boys are awesome and that you are doing a great job. I have girls and there are times I would trade them in for boys. Trust me girls are expensive, emotional, messy, moody and diva-like.
Nobody has been in your shoes or understands your situation. Remember how great you are and that you are loved and cherished. I couldn't have asked for a better sister and a better friend.

Take that bad lady who needs to lose ten pounds!!!!
(if you tell us where she lives we could always fill her porch with popcorn)