i survived the birthday

chilly's birthday party was today. originally when big d and i started having kids, we thought it would be cool to always celebrate their birthday on the actual day. and we have. this year though, i was really hoping for a saturday or friday because i knew the boys would be wound up, and never go to bed. but yeah, last saturday big d had to work, this saturday we have both a baptism and a family reunion. friday is a ball game for harry. there was nothing else to do but to actually celebrate it on the day.

we also decided a while ago that the kids would get a friend birthday party every other year, starting at age five./ but i really wanted some friends over for chilly. i held tight to the rule though...mostly because of the fact that his birthday was on a thursday.

so without that..or with that, here's my little 4 year old...

yes, he had a pirate birthday and here he is as captain jack sparrow. again i'm not thrilled with the idea, but what do you do? i'm too lazy to interest him in other things, so he is now all pirated up.

it's pretty cute. so we've a pirate in our family. i want to say thanks to my parents who braved the traffic to see a little boy and eat some bad cake (which i didn't get a picture of, but it was cool.) and thanks to my brother in law who brought his kids and endured flighty me. and to my sister in law, who brought her girls, and left the boys at home (dang her).

oh and here's some pictures of fussy...well..because he's too cute to resist.

happy birthday Chilly

for a fun read about his birth, from last year

http://meemersworld.blogspot.com/2006/05/happy-birthday-chilly.html

VIOLET

You surround yourself with art and music and are constantly driven to express yourself. You often daydream. You prefer honesty in your relationships and believe strongly in your personal morals.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

this is me

my journal

So my calling is in the young women's. and this Sunday the lesson is on journals. uhh, this is my journal. would you let strangers read your journal?

It seems crazy that i have been doing this for well over a year now. And it has been a crazy year, what with having a baby and all. I think if you read it from start to finish you would understand a bit of my feelings that I've run across this past year. everything from depression, disappointment to ultimate love and devotion. crazy stories, funny stories. boring and depressing posts.

it really is amazing how much a person can change in a year. maybe it isn't always a good change. sometimes things come at you and hit you right hard, and it takes a while to get over it. sometimes you don't ever get over it, you just find a new normal. I wonder if that is what i am doing?

so yeah, this post has no point really, just a bit of self reflection. maybe a time to take stock and figure out where I want to be this time next year. a little wiser, a little kinder, a little skinnier, a little happier. that would be good.

this bites

This whole tonsilectomy thing sucks. The poor kid can't drink, eat, or speak. I'm dying here. I've got my fussy baby, and now this almost 4 year old is completely dependant on me feeding him water through a syringe.

His medicine is yucky, and he won't take it willingly, he's really dehydrated, to the point of me wondering how late the er is open. And he is freaking grumpy. My happy child is a pain in the butt. I know, I know, he is in serious pain, but it has been 7 days and he still feels like this?

So yeah, not only are we tired over here, but we are sick and tired of this. damn you doctors for slicing him open, and shame on me for thinking I needed to do it.

Sorry Chilly. I wish I could take this pain away from you.

surgery

I didn't think we were actually going to do it. I mean, we had the appointment and all. We had worked it out with the insurance. We had it marked on the calendar. But for some reason I didn't REALLY think that poor chilly was going to have to get his tonsils out.

I was pretty much freaked out. I mean, the last surgery he had was pretty scary for me. He was only 20 months old. Having to take your baby to the children's hospital and have them cut, sew and put him under was pretty scary. So naturally, I though this time was going to be the same way.

We got an early appointment. Good for him. We were up early and to the surgical center before any of us was missing breakfast. Chilly was fine. he was even excited. He got to wear funny pajamas and ride on a big bed. He got a coloring book and stickers. and then they wheeled him down the hall by himself. He was fine.

I got back into the car and hurried home to be with Fussy. my mom had come over to watch him, so I nursed him. Or at least tried too. And about 10 minutes later Big d called and said he was done, out of surgery. A total of 30 minutes! So I raced back to be with Chilly as he was coming out of the anesthetic.

He was okay. In a bit of pain. He was a bit drugged. They gave him some morphine, and some zofran. After about an hour of fighting with the tubes and such, the nice nurse took the iv out and we came home. He layed on the couch for a few hours and then was fine. He was up playing around. and he even ate 2 corn dogs.

Slowly he has gotten worse each day. Today, Wednesday, has been the worst morning. He hurts. I wish I could take that pain away from him and have his throat healed. But I can't. I can just fight him to give him his lortab and try and get him to drink.

I hope we did the right thing, and this will actually help. The doctor said his tonsils were huge. So I can imagine that they were in the way for small things like breathing or eating. It is just hard to see your kid in pain.