i was making gravy for dinner yesterday, with a 2 year old screaming and balancing on my hip, i was wondering what the gourmet chefs would think. i mean, my gravy turned lumpy at the last minute. i'm sure it was the fault of the 2 year old and the lack of my constant attention to detail. my wisk was set down as i rescued him from a major melt down. in my mind, i compared gourmet cooking and cooking for kids like this: it is like practicing for a basket ball game, when you can make the shot 100% during the practice, but once you have the other team jumping up and down in front of you, or slapping you around, or being noisy, it makes it much harder. a gourmet cook, or one of the fancy cooks can make the best gravy. it's never lumpy. everything is delish. it's just like a practice. they have no interference, no fouls, and no distractions.

my food however, may never make it to that standard. most of the time, it's just awesome if it isn't burned. i usually forget what i was doing after i changed a diaper, got a band aid, fixed a bike tire, or helped with the math homework. the pressure of it all! of course you can say that my meals are peppered with love, and seasoned with service. i do it because i love my children and i enjoy cooking wonderful food for them. it would be nice to actually cook wonderful food for them. and then have them eat it. instead of throwing it back at me telling me it was "gross" because of the "green things". or wanting ketchup for "dip". or the days when they get up and make themselves their own peanut butter and jelly sandwich. those are the days that i wonder what i do it all for.

in reality, cooking for a family is like those hard win basket ball games. i'm just there to get the job done. i wish the ref would show up and call a few fouls. i'd love to be able to not trip on a toy dinosaur, or have a small person scream from the other room in pain because his brother punched him. my attention could be focused on the meal instead of the cramp in my arm from holding the fussy baby. i hope someday i'll have better success and every cake that comes out of the oven won't have a layer of carbon, or that i will someday leave behind lumpy gravy. but for now, i'm just showing up. game on.