Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I just seem to not do anything right

Maybe I am an extreme case, I don't know. Have you ever felt that no matter what you do, you just can't win.

I guess I am a very passionate person. I get excited about things, I get depressed about things. I guess there is no middle ground with me. I go through spurts where my family annoys me, or big d's family drive me crazy. But I honestly do care about them.

That is what makes it hard when I offend someone. If I am excited about something, I like to share. Sure, maybe it isn't my business to share others good fortune, but when so little happens to me, I guess I just want a small piece of it. And if I don't share, but am more concerned, then, well, then there are other issues.

So where does this leave me? Besides being an outsider? Obviously I set my standards for other peoples' behavior way to high. Am I too selfish, too demanding?

It is like the day you realize that your parents are human. That they do make mistakes, and that some mistakes were probably made while they were raising you. Sure your children are not perfect, because they don't know any better, but how can adults, who know right and wrong, how can they be so stubborn as to not change their behavior?

It seems life's little ups and downs have been trudging right over me. As soon as I scrape myself out of one pit, I am thrust back down into the next. Maybe I should just get a shovel and tunnel my way though life. Blocking my view of anything good, just slinging mud and dirt with every inch forward.

1 comment:

Stacy said...

Sorry you are having a rough time. If you ever want to talk... call me!