i sometimes think all of my interent friends can hear me talking. that they can tell by the tone of my voice what i am meaning to say.
the truth is, they can't.
i've been re-reading some of the things i've been posting here on this blog, and i think i might be coming across as a bit boastful. in my head, the way i type, the way i read it to myself, i think i am just stating what is going on. i mean, i know that i am nothing spectacular, or that my running miles, nor pushup prowess is not that great. nor am i an amazing blogger who has lots of friends.
actually, i'm feeling a bit isecure right now thinking that people are reading this and saying that i am amazing. in either a sarcastic tone, or incredulous, or even honest to goodness wowness. i mean really, i'm not. i don't know why i have blogged these things. maybe just because i have nothing else in my life to blog about? maybe because i was thinking about it? i'm not sure, but please don't go thinking that i mean it in a "i'm so cool" kind of way. cuz i'm not.
so then i guess i am second guessing myself. i do that a lot. sometimes i will go over conversations i had and try to understand what was all meant. or sometimes i try to see what the other side probably thought i meant. i am not very good at getting my point across sometimes. and sometimes i totally put my foot in my mouth and say the wrong thing. and the bad part is when i do that, and i dont' even realize i said something horrible until i have these freak out sessions hours later. what do you do then?
well, in blogdom, i come here and try to re write some things. or i delete things. or i foolishly try to figure out what all the comments mean. and if i haven't got any comments, THEN i really go crazy.