i was released from a calling i had for 2.5 years a week or so ago. i was in the young women's and i enjoyed it a lot. well, i did enjoy it until i got burned out, and then had some issues with some of the other leaders. but still, i really liked feeling useful and i enjoyed the interaction i had with the girls i was able to teach.
i was released, without a new calling. i found that weird. and still do. but whatever, right? there is nothing i can do about it, except maybe give crusties to the leadership, including, maybe the bishop. which i totally did.
the bad part about all of this was the timing. see, it's january, aka suckiest time of the year. it's been snowing a lot lately, and i think the sun has been out once since christmas. Savior of the World just ended. i know i was happy for the ending, but still, there is always sadness that comes from something you have worked so hard on, ending. and then i lost my calling.
i felt sort of...useless? definitely not busy. and that was a major change. and sad. all wrapped up in a big indoor smoggy, poopy weather kind of way.
after feeling that way, i went to church on sunday. i was so prepared for a bad day. and then something amazing happened.
fussy went to nursery. by himself. i mean, i stayed in there with him for a minute or two, then i snuck out and stood by the door for a while. he didn't fuss once. which is weird. ya know...fussy?
i went into relief society and then had a great lesson about the brother of jared. which i had totally forgotten and misplaced somewhere in my memory. but it was a good lesson. and it was interesting. and i really like being in there with the sisters from my ward.
and if you are familiar with the story, the brother of jared and his brother and all the people that they were, after crossing and ocean, building barges and all that jazz, camped by the sea for 4 years. and did nothing. for 4 years. and then the Lord came to him and chastised him and they got working again.
it struck me though, because it seems to be pretty consistent with my life. i mean, we have a few years where we are put through hell, with everything going wrong, big changes, hard work. and then we will have a year or so off. i figured it was kind of like interval training. which totally sucks.
running hard at a hard pace for a short period of time, and then running at a slower, or regular pace to recover. and doing that again and again and again. and pretty soon your endurance for that hard pace strengthens and you can totally go longer. we all know intervals are a great way to become better runners, so it makes complete sense that it would work for spiritual and personal things too.
while i still may not be overjoyed at my current state, i need to rest. i need to understand that this is a recovery time. and i think that might be the hardest thing to realize. i know that all too soon, i'm going to be working my tail off again.