Tuesday, April 04, 2006

My diva cup overfloweth

Have you ever been innocently sitting on the couch watching TV, when a feminine hygiene product commercial comes on? Ever been sitting there and felt a tad embarrassed? Why do they do that? I just cringe when I hear certain commercials. You know the ones I'm talking about. I think the person who decided that "have a happy period" should indeed go to jail, or at least have cramps that compare to some medieval torture chamber. Who thought that up? Happy is not really a word I equate with men u strate ing. I mean honestly, who can be happy when that happens.

You know who it is? It is men. Evil, no good men. They think they are so clever to come up with something like that. It is like the all encompassing pms thing. Oh she is a little grumpy, she's got pms. Like we like to hear that. If we were a little grumpy, do you think that is going to help? What you should be saying is how sweet we are. How much you love us, and how good of mom we can be. How in the world do we put up with the kids, or your crap all day. Well lets talk about the grumpiness. Water weight gain, bloating, cramps, headache, pimples, weird mood swings. And of course, any thing else that I don't like that I can blame on being a girl. Do you think you'd be Mr. Prince charming with any of these? I don't think so.

What about "kotex fits, period." Is that supposed to be clever? It is, but do you have to say it with a grin. C'mon people! Have you seen the one were the maxi pad is a pin ball machine? "guards against leaks". How embarrassing. Who wants to think about leaks as you are sitting there eating an entire container of ice cream? Who wants to think about anything except who is getting the boot on survivor? Then there is the tampon commercials. The ones with the baby in a saggy diaper, and the skinny teenagers who are excited because they get to go swimming? Do they ever show the bloated mom who has been up all night with sick kids, she hasn't been able to shower for 3 days, and she definatly won't be swimming during her menstrual. Yeah, and the baby with a saggy diaper is poopy and it is getting everywhere. Um yeah, I don't think they'd sell too many tampons with me.

And what about the cost of said products. I mean, you can't just by the generic brands. You have to go with the good stuff. It honestly can get pretty spendy. Of course with the chocolate, the new clothes and flowers, and dinners out, you've got a heafty bill there.

The point of this? Well I guess there really isn't one. I thought that the title was a pretty good one, and since there are no commercials for the diva cup, I decided to go with it. If you don't know what it is, you are either a guy, or you are happy with your menstrual products. My dear sweet big d gave me mine for my birthday. Isn't that great? Although why should I be happy to get menstrual products for my birthday? Hmmmmm, do you think he's trying to tell me something?

7 comments:

big d said...

i didn't mean anything at all. it's what you asked for. your, um, real birthday present is in the mail! sorry it's late!

i'd tell you what a wonderful sweet mother you are, but after reading that post it would just sound patronizing.

Meemer said...

I'm only joking. Does it sound too cynical?

big d said...

is it possible to be too cynical when discussing menstral cramps?

Rachelle said...

I need to try the diva cup. After leaking through my pants today and going home on my prep hour to change, I need something new.

Stacy said...

I hear ya, M! I also hated the douche ones... they aren't on anymore b/c women wised up to how harmful that is. But you know the one? Mom and dd walking on a beach and the dd says to mom, "Mom? Do you douche?" --------- PUH-LEEESE!!!!

ShelahBooksIt said...

ROFL!!! And I love my diva cup. If I have to have a period, at least I don't have to throw anything nasty in the garbage can. And a period is twenty zillion times worse when you'd really prefer the alternative.

Meemer said...

amen Shelah