Thursday, May 11, 2006

It's all a conspiracy

I'm a conspiracy theorist.

I don't believe we ever went to the moon. I think Lee Harvey Oswald killed JFK, but only on orders. I think that the Japanese Mafia run the world. I think that the united States went to war merely because of our oil interests. I think that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are doing a publicity stunt.

I mean, why in the world would a celebrity go out only 2 weeks postpartum? Nobody looks good who has had a baby 2 weeks before. And if she is breastfeeding, what is she doing out? The average newborn nurses every two hours! Just a thought. Did Katie look in the mirror before she left?

Of course she did. She is playing the role of new mom, who looks cranky and tired. Ah the moms in the world sigh with relief. If Katie Holmes, who has everything, looks like crap 2 weeks post partum, then we are allowed. Why would anyone in "the business" ever do that to their career? They are supposed to look good at all times (unless it is a paparazzi shot, which is what we all want anyway). There is no way that a mistake can be made when it is a real publicity event. Those photographers know what they are doing. There is no way a photographer who works for tomkat would ever release a photo of Katie's nursing bra hanging out! Well the answer is simple. TomKat wanted it. They only do things that they think will further their career. So she is going out in public to support Tom, in an attempt to further either his or her celebrity status.

Now I could go on and on about his gayness, his sterility, their contract, the scientology birth, and the baby. But I won't. Big D got me going on this subject and I didn't shut up. Now I don't really do the celebrity gossip thing, I usually don't care. But this is just so...transparent. It is really annoying, and I don't think they are doing a good job at hiding their true intent. For goodness sake, if you really did just have a baby, why aren't you staying home with her?

Ah, I feel so much better.


ShelahBooksIt said...

I agree- there's something fishy going on there.

big d said...


what about the world trade center demolition?
(9/11 was a business transaction, not a terrorist attack)

i don't know if i agree with that one, but it's pretty convincing...

Rachelle said...

I agree something fishy is going on too. I have no respect for Tom. NONE!

Meemer said...

You know, Big d, I would've included that one, but I was worried it was alittle too over the top. Next time I'll add it, and my whole alien conspiracy!

Valarie said...

link? I agree, it's orchestrated.

ubercyl said...

I don't think we landed on the moon, either. I think Marilyn Monroe was murdered, and I also think something about 9/11 was fishy.

But I think I believe Katie had a baby. She looks jiggly and exhausted. There was a picture of her out walking with her tank top exposing her open nursing bra. I know in the first weeks I sometimes forget to snap that thing back up!

Stacy said...

Not sure on ALL the conspiracies... but I DO think a LOT of the celebrity "relationships" are for convenience or publicity. (I think BrAngelina is as well as TomKat)

lackrik said...

One of these days Katy will snap. And shame on Tom for dragging her out 2 weeks after she had a baby expecting her to jump back into publicity events for him. And going on talk shows and acting like he does all of the diaper changes and middle of the night feedings. When would he? He's out pushing his flop of a movie.

Now got me started too! lol