first day of school!

despite a baby poop blowout minutes before we had to leave, sidewalks in disrepair, and new shoes that fit a month ago, not fitting, we got to school on time. we met the new teacher, who wasn't the teacher we were planning. harry gets to go to school with his cousin, in fact, even though she is in 1st grade, and he's in 2nd, their classrooms are right next to each other.

aren't they cute? so it is back to school time at our house. and it is both sad and happy for the mommy. sad because i really do love my kids being home with me, and happy, because, well...look at how happy he is to be back at school!

and now we get to see if we like 2nd grade as much as 1st grade. wish us luck!!

harry potter funny

we took the boys to see the latest harry potter movie. Chilly wore his harry glasses, a scar, and took a wand. harry was especially giddy having just finished the book earlier in the day. it was a fun time had by all...well except fussy.

that was saturday. sunday, after church,i was getting a drink of water. i was filling up my cup at the fridge, chilly was sitting at the table. he had his wand in hand and was pointing it at me. his voice was as if he was on his deathbed...."accio drink"

it was pretty funny, and pretty cute. although it the accio spell doesn't work very well at out house. I keep trying to use it on the tv remote. of course i don't have a wand.

the truth is

i'm bored of blogging. once or twice during this week, i thought of something really clever or cute to blog about. i wasn't able to get to my computer and i totally missed the inspirational moment. and then when i do have the moment to blog, nothing clever or interesting comes to mind. not that it matters anyway. i don't think my blog is read much.

so, i'm going to take a break from blogging, that is sure to give me things to write about. if i forbid myself from something, that is what i'll want to do...right.

so stay tuned, or change the channel. whatever you like. i'm still here, but maybe i won't be either. there will be funner and witty posts ahead, or maybe i''' pack it all in and toss the key. who knows? is the suspense killing you yet?

for big d

since he's thousands of miles from home, sweating in the humidity. i just thought i'd share the picture with fussy. he misses his daddy-kins, as do we all!

the first and the last

the first day of 1st grade. July 25th, 2006:

the last day of 1st grade. June 29, 2007:

what a difference a year makes. like i said in the previous post, i can't believe how much he has grown up.

i have a seven year old...

harry had a birthday. he's seven now. i was completely overwhelmed by birthday parties and family in town, fireworks, and making slime. see, we had a friend birthday party that morning with kids from his class. it was harry potter themed, so we "learned" in different "classes" how to do stuff. we had a care of magical creatures class, where the 7 year-old's chased chickens. we had a divination class, where they played memory with words and pictures. and a potions class where we mixed baking soda and vinegar and let it explode all over the table. and then we made slime out of glue and borax. it was a blast.

then we had a birthday party that evening with cousins and other family. pandemonium. we had family in town. i don't think our small house had ever had that many people crammed into it. then we went to our local town's firework celebration. throw in there a parade, a park festival, finding a cake. it was a full day.

and on that note of 7, my 7 year old is on his last week of school. finally. but as i watched him leave this morning, something my mother in law said when she was teaching first grade hit me..."we get them as little kids, and by the end of the year, they turn into big kids". i see a struggle inside him. a struggle between messing around and being responsible. he can be totally crazy, chasing his little brother around, and then he'll be scolding his little brother and being "too cool" for doing something similar. it is so much fun to see him grow up. and he has done a lot of that this year.

he is such a monkey. occasionally he still gets hurt and cries for mom. but he climbs tree's like a true kid. he has a passion for it, so i just don't watch him all the time, lest i worry or yell at him. he needs the adventure of it.

he played machine pitch baseball this year. he spent the majority of the games getting pointers on how to hit the ball. but when he finally did hit the ball, you could see on his face...he really loved it, and he accomplished it himself. he went 6 games without a single hit, and he still loved going to his games. he never gave up. what a great life lesson for all of us.

so i guess i should stop bragging about him, but as i mentioned to my mom yesterday, fussy is my easiest kid right now. with harry, i am being constantly thrown off balance. he will cry like a little kid about something really silly; be mature and understanding two minutes later about something i was sure was going to upset him. it seems being a mom gets harder in some ways the older they get.

it's not that I have forgotten you

or that I don't have anything blog worthy happening in my life. The thing is, I haven't had time to sit down and actually type anything out for the longest time. My time is gettign sucked away to family things, baby things, garden things, church things, school things. mostly family and baby things.

our house flooded a couple of weeks back. again. we had a nice rainstorm and our sump pump stuck itself in off position. so while I could have blogged about how it SUCKS royal to tear the basement up, do about 20 loads of laundry (from all the baby clothes stuck down there), meanwhile trying to keep fussy...well...trying to keep fussy happy.

I could have blogged about how school is almost out. almost. or I could have written about seeing my long lost uncle from california. Or about my inlaws visit to see the twins blessing. or my nieces baptism. but I didn't. mostly because i'm tired. tired of getting harry out of bed in the morning, tired of the inlaws visiting and making us feel very unimportant, and tired of the fact that I won't ever get to do what my sister did. get her baby girl ready for baptism. (insert crying face here)

or i could really blog about my blisters. i've got two right now that are killing me. i know that is boring and terrible and i'm just complaining. but it is making it hard to enjoy the run that i want to run on saturday, but i won't because it is harry's birthday. make sense. yeah i know. it is bedtime. the boys are all upstairs and i think big d is worn out too.

which leads me to what i really should have blogged about. fathers. how great big d is to his kids. how much i love him and all he does. especially when he takes a good long turn with fussy and lets me cool off.

and my own daddy. the guy that taught me a lot about how to treat people. the guy who will drop anything and come to the rescue when his daughter's basement floods. that and he makes big d feel right at home.

so my hat is off to my favorite fathers in my life. thanks for all you do.

and for all my faithful readers, sorry this break was so long. i hope to get back in the pool, or on the wagon, or whatever.

fussy happy

i survived the birthday

chilly's birthday party was today. originally when big d and i started having kids, we thought it would be cool to always celebrate their birthday on the actual day. and we have. this year though, i was really hoping for a saturday or friday because i knew the boys would be wound up, and never go to bed. but yeah, last saturday big d had to work, this saturday we have both a baptism and a family reunion. friday is a ball game for harry. there was nothing else to do but to actually celebrate it on the day.

we also decided a while ago that the kids would get a friend birthday party every other year, starting at age five./ but i really wanted some friends over for chilly. i held tight to the rule though...mostly because of the fact that his birthday was on a thursday.

so without that..or with that, here's my little 4 year old...

yes, he had a pirate birthday and here he is as captain jack sparrow. again i'm not thrilled with the idea, but what do you do? i'm too lazy to interest him in other things, so he is now all pirated up.

it's pretty cute. so we've a pirate in our family. i want to say thanks to my parents who braved the traffic to see a little boy and eat some bad cake (which i didn't get a picture of, but it was cool.) and thanks to my brother in law who brought his kids and endured flighty me. and to my sister in law, who brought her girls, and left the boys at home (dang her).

oh and here's some pictures of fussy...well..because he's too cute to resist.

happy birthday Chilly

for a fun read about his birth, from last year

http://meemersworld.blogspot.com/2006/05/happy-birthday-chilly.html

VIOLET

You surround yourself with art and music and are constantly driven to express yourself. You often daydream. You prefer honesty in your relationships and believe strongly in your personal morals.

Find out your color at QuizMeme.com!

this is me

my journal

So my calling is in the young women's. and this Sunday the lesson is on journals. uhh, this is my journal. would you let strangers read your journal?

It seems crazy that i have been doing this for well over a year now. And it has been a crazy year, what with having a baby and all. I think if you read it from start to finish you would understand a bit of my feelings that I've run across this past year. everything from depression, disappointment to ultimate love and devotion. crazy stories, funny stories. boring and depressing posts.

it really is amazing how much a person can change in a year. maybe it isn't always a good change. sometimes things come at you and hit you right hard, and it takes a while to get over it. sometimes you don't ever get over it, you just find a new normal. I wonder if that is what i am doing?

so yeah, this post has no point really, just a bit of self reflection. maybe a time to take stock and figure out where I want to be this time next year. a little wiser, a little kinder, a little skinnier, a little happier. that would be good.

this bites

This whole tonsilectomy thing sucks. The poor kid can't drink, eat, or speak. I'm dying here. I've got my fussy baby, and now this almost 4 year old is completely dependant on me feeding him water through a syringe.

His medicine is yucky, and he won't take it willingly, he's really dehydrated, to the point of me wondering how late the er is open. And he is freaking grumpy. My happy child is a pain in the butt. I know, I know, he is in serious pain, but it has been 7 days and he still feels like this?

So yeah, not only are we tired over here, but we are sick and tired of this. damn you doctors for slicing him open, and shame on me for thinking I needed to do it.

Sorry Chilly. I wish I could take this pain away from you.

surgery

I didn't think we were actually going to do it. I mean, we had the appointment and all. We had worked it out with the insurance. We had it marked on the calendar. But for some reason I didn't REALLY think that poor chilly was going to have to get his tonsils out.

I was pretty much freaked out. I mean, the last surgery he had was pretty scary for me. He was only 20 months old. Having to take your baby to the children's hospital and have them cut, sew and put him under was pretty scary. So naturally, I though this time was going to be the same way.

We got an early appointment. Good for him. We were up early and to the surgical center before any of us was missing breakfast. Chilly was fine. he was even excited. He got to wear funny pajamas and ride on a big bed. He got a coloring book and stickers. and then they wheeled him down the hall by himself. He was fine.

I got back into the car and hurried home to be with Fussy. my mom had come over to watch him, so I nursed him. Or at least tried too. And about 10 minutes later Big d called and said he was done, out of surgery. A total of 30 minutes! So I raced back to be with Chilly as he was coming out of the anesthetic.

He was okay. In a bit of pain. He was a bit drugged. They gave him some morphine, and some zofran. After about an hour of fighting with the tubes and such, the nice nurse took the iv out and we came home. He layed on the couch for a few hours and then was fine. He was up playing around. and he even ate 2 corn dogs.

Slowly he has gotten worse each day. Today, Wednesday, has been the worst morning. He hurts. I wish I could take that pain away from him and have his throat healed. But I can't. I can just fight him to give him his lortab and try and get him to drink.

I hope we did the right thing, and this will actually help. The doctor said his tonsils were huge. So I can imagine that they were in the way for small things like breathing or eating. It is just hard to see your kid in pain.

time to expand the family....again

i know what you are thinking...i mean fussy is only almost 3 months old. but we were so lopsided with three boys, we decided to try again. only this time, it was easy to pick out girls.

cute huh? and the boys are so excited because they each picked one out. and all three are different breeds, so it should make for some interesting eggs.

boring

I have nothing to post about. It seems the blogger block has taken a few of our numbers recently. It is not because I don't want to blog, because I do, I just don't think anyone wants to hear me complain about mysterious fevers, family members, my dirty house, and life with a newborn.

Although the spring weather has buoyed us up a bit and I can already see my peas poking through the dirt. My treadmill hasn't seen this much action since probably October. My sister in law that shares my back yard fence, birthed forth her twin baby boys. I've seen them once and they were pretty cute. Tiny and cute. Oh and Harry goes off track for 3 weeks on Thursday.

So that is it for me. Life in a nutshell right now. We will just keep on truckin. Eventually something blog worthy is going to happen, and hopefully it will be something interesting and funny, instead of something interesting and sad.

on second thought

I'm pretty granola. I like natural birth and breastfeeding. I try to give my kids natural foods, good for you kind of things. So it was only natural that I would want to try, not only to save the environment, but to be that extra bit of hippy, by using cloth diapers.

I mean, it is inevitable. I was curious from my la leche league days. I saw all these cute baby bums covered in the most adorable diapers. Mom's who seemed to have the whole thing together, and had a natural solution to overcrowding at the local landfills.

When I was pregnant with Chilly, I almost considered it. Cloth diapering that is. I watched other moms do it, and I was almost sold. Until I figured out how much they cost, and even though I knew it would be cheaper than doing disposables, I couldn't justify the large cost to start.

So with Fussy, I decided I was going to do it. I bought several different kinds of diapers. I was excited. I knew exactly how I was going to do it. I bought my first sets from ebay! when I was done, and he had outgrown them, I would just sell them! so I stocked up. Cute little prints, adorable covers. Cloth wipes. I did my research on what all I needed.

And then fussy was born. We were told the meconium days were best done with 'posies, so we got a package. And we didn't want to waste, so we used them all. And then people brought by more packages of diapers for gifts. I didn't want them to feel bad, so we used them. By the time I had run out, the small cloth diapers didn't fit him anymore. And the mediums didn't fit him yet.

But I wasn't going to be undone! Even though his chubby legs didn't fit in them, I still put the different diapers on fussy. He would pee once and I had to change him. Clothes too. Then he'd poop, every time he ate, so I'd have to change him. 10-15 diapers a day. And wipes. That was a lot of laundry. Not from all the diapers, but from all the clothes.

So I would go and buy more disposables. I'd tell myself "when he quits pooping so much, then I'll do cloth" . Ashamed of my non-granolaness, I hung my head every time I opened a package of diapers. All the people I had excitedly told about cloth diapers..well, I avoided the conversation when it turned to how i was doing with diapers. How could it be so hard?

So here I am to say, to all my friends and family who told me not to cloth diaper my baby. "you were right" "who on earth would want to do it" "does anybody want to buy some barely used small diapers?"

Someday I will do it, just to prove you all wrong, but for right now, I've got enough on my plate, or in my laundry.

oh dear!

This morning, while planning my busy day, I figured I needed to find a time to take Fussy to the doctor. Not that I didn't have enough to do today, but that, it seemed, Fussy was having a hard time breathing.

Since it is April, and I am thinking the rsv season is considered november-march, I figured I was off the hook. And maybe I am. I didn't stick around for the rsv test the doctor wanted to do. Instead, we filled up on a breathing treatment and headed out of the office to meet the home care people who were delivering our very own, brand new nebulizer.

So it is breathing treatments ever 4-6 hours for my smalled kid. I'm glad that is it. I'm glad the doctor didn't freak out and send us to the hospital. Of course, he would have, if Fussy hadn't had such a good o2 score.

I am really glad that I have a healthy baby, one that didn't come early and have compromised lungs. Of course he probably inherited this lung problem from me, and only time will tell if he will have asthma for life. I hope not. It is no fun.

This is on top of the news that Chilly gets to have his tonsills and adenoids taken out in May, and Harry needs to see a councellor for anger management. This is what raising kids is all about right? It's a good thing I've got a good support system, otherwise I'd be going crazy right now.

So there ya go.

trying to catch a smile

superman

" ... you must live as one of them but always hold in your heart the pride of your special heritage. They can be a great people Kal-El, they wish to be, they only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, there capacity for good, I have sent them you, my only son."

My boys love him. For the past couple of weeks, I've been picking up clothes like crazy. Clothes that go over the costume. Thrown aside when the superhero makes his entrance and saves the day. Harry even has an old dress suit of big d's (when he was a kid) that he puts over his superman outfit.

The other day I was watching harry play outside. He was unbuttoning his blue dress shirt to reveal his superman s underneath. It was like I was watching a very young Christopher reeve running around in my back yard. Harry even had his harry potter glasses and was using them in his Clark Kent ensemble.

I've watched, or listened to, superman 2, everyday since it was found. Chilly gets a little board, so we fast forward over the lovie scenes. And when Chilly isn't watching the movie, he is humming the theme song.

It is getting a little annoying to be honest with you, especially the laundry problem created by discarded cothing strewn around the house, but I also love the fact that my boys are so creative and have such an imagination. What a good superhero to be though. Well, except for the whole fornicating thing with Lois Lane. But it was the 70's right?

Superman is the guy when it comes to saving people and doing lots of good in the world. He cares about the people of earth, and uses his powers for good. Who would have thought boys get just as much out of playing dress up his the girly cousins they have? spiderman, batman, superman, harry potter, all occasionally live at my house.

what's with being thin?

Like any normal woman who just gave birth, and gained a slight 50 pounds while being pregnant, I'm on a quest to loose a bit round my middle (or thighs). I have to loose one more pound before I stop being "slightly overweight" and can announce to the world that I am a healthy weight. I've been working on it ever since fussy made his exit (or entrance, depending on what side of my body you are on)

When I was pregnant though, I wanted to be healthy. I ate food, lots of good food, and some not so good food. I exercised. I still gained enough weight to technically carry twins. but I wasn't worried, at least not too much, because I knew that I could eventually loose the weight if I worked hard. To me the most important part was carrying a healthy baby.

Which I did. we got Fussy measured yesterday, and not only is doing just fine, he has gained a whopping 3.5 pounds. since birth. He's 2 months! Amazing! He is healthy and growing and I never needed to worry about him being born too early.

one of my fears in life was having a preterm baby. Or a baby stuck in the NICU for weeks on end. I have seen it with my family and a lot of my friends, and it isn't an easy road to be down. Just because you got pregnant, carried past week 30 is no guarantee you are going to bring a healthy baby home from the hospital. Add in anything different, like say multiples, and you can end up with a heartbreak or two.

A lot of this stems from the fact that women are so obsessed about what they look like, that they don't take care of their bodies. I don't really think we can trace it back to the men. I think they like us as women. It is us women that is the problem. Comparing ourselves to everyone, constantly being told that we need to watch what we eat. Skipping a meal or two so the jeans that we got will fit. It isn't healthy to us, and what are we teaching our kids.

If you are like me, you have heard what I'm ranting about a million times over. And maybe once or twice you've nodded your head in agreement. Maybe for a couple of weeks you told yourself you are not going to cut calories, just be healthy. We've heard it all from well meaning people who are sick of looking at stick and bone women and being told that is what we need to look like. But it is just so ingrained in us that we need to be thin to be pretty.

I get that, I can't change it.

But I am not okay with it when it involves more lives than yours. You can hurt your own body, but don't hurt the baby that you might be carrying, just because you buy into the fact that you have to be a size 2 to be beautiful.

Before you get your dander up about "weight isn't everything for being pregnant" know this, it does have a big impact. I know that there are women who have been healthy the entire pregnancy, but then something happens and they don't go home with the baby they carried. Weight had nothing to do about it. My point is this, if you know, if you know that something could help, why not do it?

Fussy's blessing

So I'm just going to assume my readers are lds, and know what I'm talking about here. Just because I've got like two minutes to blog, and I hate trying to explain it all.

So last Sunday was fussy's blessing. It was good, and bad.

the good
We got to church before it started which was a real record for us. Dumb 9:00 church with three boys kind of thing. But we made it. Nobody got lost on the way to my house. During the actual blessing, Fussy wasn't! And the big boys were really good, even with the excitement of having cousins in church with them. After sacrament meeting, nobody got lost on the way to my house. We had lots of food. My sister even showed up with her little newborn!

The bad
I firmly believe that satan controls all clocks. Before my eyes we ran out of time getting ready. I know I got up early, and with plenty of time to spare, but after getting myself and fussy bathed, kids out of bed, hair combed, fussy nursed, we were seriously pushing the limit. I was so grateful for the extra hands that showed up a bit later than I thought,to hold the baby, so I could at least put on some makeup. We got to the church before it started, but not before the "saving of seats" time. So all of the benches were taken, and we were relegated to the back with the hard chairs. Nothing hurts your bum more than an hour and 10 on cold metal chairs. Back at the house my sister showed up with her newborn and totally stole Fussy's thunder. What is cuter than a baby on his blessing day? A younger newborn. After working all Saturday to have the house looking tip top, within minutes of breaking the bread, it was a disaster. I also forgot, ran out of time, for pictures. So you will just have to imagine a beautiful baby boy looking his best in a sweet white outfit grandma gave him. Because by the time he was home, he had really pooped and it had gotten all over his white little sweater thing.

But here I go complaining again. Even after I told myself I wouldn't. Shame on me, because the most important thing about the blessing is the blessing. It was beautiful! I was so in awe at some of things that were talked about with my little baby. I think it gave me a glimpse into the rest of his life. It is a little scary too, because I really don't want to mess it up. I really felt the Spirit as Big D blessed him. I could almost see those fussy was named after, up in the circle with them. It was an amazing experience for me. I think Big D felt it too.

So after all that, even the bad, isn't bad, you know? I am so thankful for a husband who can bless his kids, for family who isn't too busy to support me, and for these wonderful kids, including Fussy.

to milk or not to milk?

Breastfeeding. Is there anything more lovely with a newborn. Not only do you get to "show off your goods" multiple times a day, you get the pleasure of knowing that you are feeding your infant the very best food there is for him.

It aint easy, is it? Ask any mom 2 or 3 weeks post partum, and they will almost always have the same answer, it sure isn't natural. There is nothing natural about the latch on of a newborn baby. It doesn't curl your toes, it freaking breaks them off. sore nipples, engorged boobies. Waking up in a puddle every morning. Moist bras. It sure isn't natural to enjoy those things.

Feeding fussy is going really well, now at least. It wasn't a few weeks ago. Not that he had troubles nursing per say, he just didn't like something in my milk. So I stopped eating. well I still ate, just nothing that had milk, eggs, wheat, soy, corn, milk, chocolate, and milk. Okay, so it was mostly just milk, and chocolate.

Now I'm not a big milk drinking by any means. I hate milk. I used it cereal, and in baking, but other than that, I pass on the big white jug. But I was floored by the amount of things that have milk in them. I mean, you can kind of figure that pudding has milk in it, and say, cheese. But chicken nuggets? Chili? Yup. All sorts of foods. Most anything that I liked, or I had in my freezer has milk in it. That takes into account the meals that I made before I had the baby to help out in times of needing a quick dinner. Lasagna, enchiladas, turkey casserole. All untouchable by me.

The sad thing(or happy thing) is that Fussy is really not so fussy anymore. I mean he is fussy RIGHT NOW, but that is because I am on the computer and he wants...you guessed it...dairy free mommy milk.


At least I could name him something different. Not such a fussy anymore. Maybe soggy???

bums of the family

that is what we are right now. apparently. I guess because big d has to work for a living, and I have a newborn. I'm sorrry that is such a lame excuse! if you want more information, check out big d's blog.

my inlaws are moving

you'd think a daughter in law, who married the oldest son, would be happy, right?

Big d and I have lived close to his parents almost our entire married life. We did spend some time in NYC, but you can't really tell. Anyway, we've pretty much lived within 20 minutes of them for 10 years. we were told countless times how grateful they were for us, because we "stayed close".

We have known it was coming for some time now. Father in law has spent the better part of the year in far away places working. Mother in law retired from her school teaching job, and is now ready for the adventure of living wherever they next decide. Actually they have decided, and are packing up the house as I type.

They were a rock of solidarity to me. They had lived in this house for well over 30 years. I expected to bury them in the back yard with the cats! They accepted me as a daughter. They have been there for us during really tough times. I know in my heart that what they are doing is a good thing for them. They feel they need a fresh start at life, and are prepared to move across country to do it. I know they are doing what they think is right for them. I just feel a little betrayed, a little upset that my kids won't grow up with them anymore right there. As grandparents, they will miss out on so much of my kids lives.

I know the siblings have these same issues, as most of them have lived, or are living further away now. But they don't understand, that was their own choice to live away from them. This isn't our choice to have them move. We don't want them to. I also feel betrayed and hurt by a comment father in law said when they were telling us about them moving so many months ago. "The only thing keeping us here is you". It hurt on so many levels. And it still hurts today.

There will be good points to having them live 16 hours away! I won't have to constantly remind them that I have a family too. We won't have the trouble of splitting time at families for different holidays. There won't be uncomfortable moments at birthday parties when one grandparent gives more than the other. When they do come to visit, hopefully we will get all of them, and not just them on a Sunday afternoon.

But there are defiantly more disadvantages for us. We won't see them often. we can't afford to visit them. when they do come our way, we will still have to split them with 2 other families. They are also our hub of the family. When they move away, we won't see big d's sisters very often because they aren't going to come and visit just us. They are going to want to use their time to see mom and dad. cousins are going to get the short end by not having fun seeing each other. Well at least my part of the cousin game.

It has been hard for me. I've been grumpy. I feel betrayed. I don't want to see the house packed up. I don't want to see the moving truck pull away. I can't face the fact that it is the end. Things will never be the same. Not between us, and it will never be the same way for my kids. Ever. There are just some things that change permanently. They won't be here to go to t-ball games, or school programs. They won't be here to see birthday parties or loose teeth. They won't be here for Fussy's blessing, or to see how he will change. They will miss out on being "the favorite grandparents" for him. And because of that, we will loose something we have been working on for 10 years. A relationship shared by loving my kids. We will never have that same relationship again.

Instead, they will see pictures, and maybe read our blogs. And a couple of times a year, maybe, they will spend a day or two with the boys.

I could just be a softy, it's not like they are dead! I cried the day big d's sister moved. I just can't imagine how I'm going to feel when they are gone. I know I'm going to drive by the house and feel an emptiness. I hope my kids don't feel it, and I hope they do feel it too.

I truly hope they have the best years ahead for them. I wish them well in their new adventure. I hope they have all the success and fresh start they need to get them back on top in this crazy life game. And I do hope they know how much we will miss them, and how much their grandson's will miss them. I know this decision wasn't lightly made, but that is of little comfort right now.


so, good luck, farewell, and don't let the door hit you on your way out.

I'm having a hard time blogging one handed! My other hand seems to be constantly holding Fussy. I've got a couple of posts fizzing around in my head, I'm just waiting for a naptime that isn't 10 minutes long, or isn't filled with things like going to the bathroom. But I am pretty sure I've got the cutest baby.

it is all about that momma love, right. amazing how you fall in love with your newborn, even though he doesn't sleep, or he's incredibly fussy all the time.

I've some cute pictures of my kids. I wish I could post them here.

Of course Chilly is not being a good kid today. Finally after almost 6 weeks of not being the baby anymore, he is starting to really misbehave. Raising kids without beating them is tough.

My sister's new kid!

Back a long time ago, about 7 months, I found out that my older sister was expecting. What a huge surprise. This was cool for me, because, well, I had never been pregnant with one of my sisters before. Being the youngest does that to you.

So now my little fussy has a cousin on this side of the family that is close to his age. Pretty much is his age. Fussy turned 5 weeks old today, and his little girly cousin was born yesterday morning at 12am.

I am really excited for my sister. Her youngest before the baby is 11. And she, like me, has two older boys. So she got her girl, and the coveted granddaughter. And she is cute, my neice, not my sister, although she does look just fine. My mom came down and watched fussy so I could go to the hospital ( shudder) and see my new little neice.

I do think it is weird when the youngest (me) has advice for my older sister. My oldest sister even commented that she wished I had been having babies when she was having babies. Her youngest by the way is a year older than my Harry. It feels strange to be looking my older siste in the eye and give her advice about breastfeeding. Or when I called her on Saturday night (because my mom insisted) to talk to her about labor, and if she should go in to the hospital or not. But it is cool too. Almost like they have quit looking at me as the baby sister, spoiled rotten, and are now looking at me as an equal. I like it.

So congrats to my big sister on her new baby girl. And congrats to my mom for her new baby granddaughter.


At least fussy had almost 5 weeks of being the newbie!.

My timeline was off. Chilly did get the dreaded fever, only it was today. So more like a week in between fevers and general illness.

But aside from that we still had to take the boys to get their hair cut. except fussy didn't need one. Nope, he's lost pretty much all the hair on the top of his head already. So now he looks like an old man for sure. Toothless and bald. And he has baby acne too.

But the other two boys look so cute with the new do. And we actually paid someone to do it, so it looks much better than when I weed whack it for them. I love it!

it really is amazing how a haircut can change you. When Harry was done getting his, he looked, or reminded me, of my big brother. Same dark eyes, same eyebrows. It was eerie. Someday I'll have to post a picture of me in first grade, and Harry's first grade picture. Chilly looks older too, like someone hit the fast forward button and he turned 4 already, maybe 5. of course ever since we had fussy, Chilly looks really big to me.

the best part of getting their haircuts was showing off my baby to the old lady there. She was getting her doo, and watching my sweet boys intently. She pulled me aside and told me how cute my boys were, how sweet my baby was, and what a good daddy they seemed to have. I had to agree with her on all parts. I mean, even though Chilly was startign to get fevered up, he still sat still and was so good to get his hair done. And even though Harry was "scared" he still managed to get the courage to sit and chop off his lovely locks. But my heart belongs to big D! The way he encourages the boys to be good, and really, REALLY cares about them. The way he holds them, and loves them, especially fussy.